Nothing but my Opinion

GH7:ROA DLC - January

2012-01-31T00:11:00.003Z

Let's roll through this one as fast as possible. Standard month of DLC, 8 songs of two genres, 8 songs by 2 bands that worked with those genres over a 4 week period. Here's the last one, in case you're keeping track.

JANUARY WEEK 2
Classic Rock 04 Pack

"Hitch A Ride" - Boston, 1976
Classic Rock, Guitar Tier 6/10
"Fight The Good Fight" - Triumph, 1981
Classic Rock, Guitar Tier 7/10
"25 Or 6 To 4" - Chicago, 1970
Rock, Guitar Tier 8/10
"Magic Man" - Heart, 1976
Classic Rock, Guitar Tier 6/10

Thin Lizzy Pack

"Whiskey In The Jar" - Thin Lizzy, 1972
Classic Rock, Guitar Tier 6/10
"Bad Reputation" - Thin Lizzy, 1977
Hard Rock, Guitar Tier 7/10
"Killer On The Loose" - 1980
Hard Rock, Guitar Tier 6/10
"Cold Sweat" - Thin Lizzy, 1983
Metal, Guitar Tier 9/10

JANUARY WEEK 4
Grunge 01 Pack

"Wargasm" - L7, 1992
Grunge, Guitar Tier 4/10
"Wicked Garden" - Stone Temple Pilots, 1992
Grunge, Guitar Tier 4/10
"Suck You Dry" - Mudhoney, 1992
Grunge, Guitar Tier 4/10
"Would?" - Alice In Chains, 1992
Grunge, Guitar Tier 3/10

Pearl Jam Pack

"Even Flow" - Pearl Jam, 1991
Grunge, Guitar Tier 5/10
"Daughter" - Pearl Jam, 1993
Grunge, Guitar Tier 4/10
"Spin The Black Circle" - Pearl Jam, 1994
Grunge, Guitar Tier 5/10
"Life Wasted" - Pearl Jam, 2006
Alternative, Guitar Tier 4/10

Like I said, just wanna whack this one out and then leave it. The Classic Rock pack seemed appropriate for January. It's still Winter, still cold and after some Thrash Metal I feel some nice calming Classic Rock could be welcomed by most, if not all. The songs I've picked are all quite challenging on Guitar, with a several tricky solos in songs like "25 Or 6 To 4" and "Hitch A Ride" but you can't deny they're not fun to play. The Thin Lizzy pack seemed like a good idea too, since they're an awesome band who deserve to be in GH/RB games a Hell of a lot more than they already are.
"Whiskey In The Jar" was a must, since it's one of their most famous and awesome songs. Don't know if it'd be allowed into the GH series, since the title refers to an alcoholic drink. Remember that whole 'American Pie' thing? Yeah, wouldn't want that...then again, they had 'Sex On Fire' in GH5 and that song is crap in comparison. "Bad Reputation" was used in GH2, seemed right to have it in GH again as a Master. "Killer On The Loose" has a fun solo and a funky sound to it. As for "Cold Sweat"...well, aside from being badass, that tapping solo is sure to provide a challenge for even the most experienced player.
Following two weeks of difficult Guitar material, it's time for something easy. Grunge! Yes, chords and strumming and shouting on the vocals. Kicking off the pack with "Wargasm", a song that has a very fun sounding riff if charted right. The STP and Alice In Chains songs would probably be a bit of a bore if you're not a fan of the songs...then again, that's the same for every other GH/RB track of theirs. The Mudhoney one is OK on Guitar but that's not the main aim of this pack in question. I was going to include a Nirvana track but a) They've had 2 track packs on GH already and b) ...yeah, the Cobain in GH5 thing.

The band headlining the Grunge pack is Pearl Jam, a band that people like and yet they were only in GH once. That song is in the DLC as a Full Band master and even though the GH3 chart of "Even Flow" was awesome, the Full Band one will probably be just as good. "Life Wasted" was in GH2 for the XBox 360 so that made it into the pack too. The other Pearl Jam songs are new to the GH/RB series, I believe, so all in all I reckon that makes a solid month of DLC. You may have noticed I've left it ridiculously late once again. I have one day to post 3 things I originally planned to get done several weeks ago. Challenge Accepted! Be seeing you.

January

2012-01-18T21:25:00.003Z

Yeah, 2012! The year where everything goes to shit, according to idiots online. Just to bring you up to speed on my month so far, I've had a piss-awful New Year's Eve/Day and a fairly average couple of weeks. I spent the last few minutes of 2011 in a Premier Inn pub in Worplesdon. Pretty dire selection of music but the biggest annoyance was the lack of a decent countdown. Usually, you do it to Big Ben on the TV. The fucking DJ brought us in on his watch, so whilst everyone was going "10! 9! 8! 7! 6...", the DJ was talking over us all with "...8. 7...".

The only reason I give a flying toss about New Year's Eve/Day is because it's the one time of year when I know exactly what the time is. Due to pointless clock changes with hours going back & forward and my watch cocking up periodically throughout the year (no idea how), I usually end up losing about 2 minutes by the next New Year's countdown. However, since the DJ didn't seem like the kind of person who's watch is precisely lined up with GMT (he played a clubbing version of Auld Lang Syn* for fuck's sake), I still don't know if I have the right time. Irritating but nothing I lose sleep over.
Other than that, things have been fairly standard. Had a few Epic Subway Sandwiches with friends, raising my maximum intake to a 16'' Sub in one sitting. I've also been making my way through the massive Gummy Bear I got as a Christmas present in 2010, so I've probably put a fair amount of weight on. So I guess I should talk about what I've got planned for the rest of January. The usual GH DLC post, that'll be out towards the end. I've also got my list of events from 2011. Not important ones, just things I did (YAY ME!).
As added extras for the rest of the month, I've got a little bit of info about my New Year's Resolution(s) that I don't mind sharing and a rant about my latest trip to Harvester. I'll try and get that online within this week, since I don't want to forget anything that happened. Who knows, maybe I'll get a free meal out of it...although maybe I'll just never go to the Ottershaw one ever again. Too many times I've been there and had somebody unhappy with the service. Not even sure why I stand up for the place, since the food is average at best.

Anyway, those are things for me to dread typing up and you to not look forward to. Until then, have a Happy Rest Of The Year until the Olympics which is going to Fuck Everything Up. Be seeing you.

* Is that how it's spelt? Don't care, shit song.

Doctor Who Series 6: Bigger, Better, Timey-Wimier

2011-12-30T22:22:00.002Z

[Never has there been a more appropriate time to say this on this blog but...SPOILERS!!!]

I've been promising to do this blog post since the series finished in October and now that I'm finally putting fingertips to plastic in front of my computer screen at 10:24 at night (shortly before Charlie Brooker's 2011wipe starts on BBC 4), I can't think of anything to say. If you couldn't tell from the title, I didn't think Series 6 was bad. In fact, I believe it's probably the best Series since the start of the 2005 revival. There have been a few dud episodes but the overall series arc, along with a few select one-offs, was fantastic enough to paint over any significant flaw.

This lengthy post will basically be a run through of all the episodes in the series, from 'The Impossible Astronaut' to 'The Doctor, The Widow and The Wardrobe'. Not quite a review, just a personal recap with my thoughts. When the Doctor returned to our screens with a Moffat penned two-parter, I assumed we'd be in for a treat. We'd seen preview clips of armed secret agents chasing Karen Gillan to a cliff, The Doctor in the White House, sinister looking aliens in suits and Crowley the Demon ('Supernatural' reference, keep up!). It should've been an amazing opener, so why was it so...mediocre?
It kicks off with the Doctor gathering Amy, Rory & River in America. Lake Silencio, to be precise (wonder what that means). There, an astronaut rises from the river and kills the Doctor until he's dead. So far, pretty intriguing stuff. Eventually, a Doctor from the past is found by the gang and they soon find themselves in the middle of an investigation involving aliens that can erase themselves from your memory and the moon landing. The first episode of the two was largely build-up for the second episode and series arc. Quite a lot had to be planted and I guess Moffat wanted to move the series at high speed, resulting in more than a few of the weaker viewers losing track of the timeline.
As for the fans with the ability to remember characters and events from previous episodes/little kids, it all seemed fairly straightforward. If I had to pick one golden moment from a disappointing episode, it'd be River's conversation with Rory about how she knows that one day the Doctor won't recognise her. The word 'clever' just doesn't quite cut it. Even 'genius' isn't strong enough to describe the comparison between lovers on different timelines and relationships where one partner starts to develop mental health problems that Moffat nailed so perfectly.

The episode ended with Amy telling the Doctor she was pregnant (which kind of reminded me of the delivery of the "I've got cancer" line in 'The Room') before shooting a child in a space suit. This was a big problem for me. Not the fact that it seemed strangely out of place for an episode of Doctor Who or that it was too "edgy" or "dark" or any of that wank. It was that it didn't end. It just stopped. It was literally as if there was another 5 minutes or so to leave things on a suitable cliffhanger or conclusion but somebody in charge went "Shit, we're out of time. ROLL CREDITS!".
The second part only confirmed this theory by kicking off about 3 months after the events of the last episode, with only a few flashbacks to show how they started to get from A to J. A great point made by somebody on Twitter was that saying "3 months later..." is all well and good if 3 months of progress has actually happened. All things considered, the crew were still pretty much as in the dark as we were. Then we had scenes that meant sweet jack. Crowley and his men tracking down the companions having arrested the Doctor, what was that all about?
I'm willing to accept that I may have missed important info (since I've only seen all of these episodes once, I'm going by memory alone here). However, it seems Moffat made another familiar mistake with The Silence. Yes, they're scary. They look freaky, they have a power that's pretty creepy...why are they a threat? They've been on this planet for so long that stopping them then and there seems like hassle. They're not trying to take over the planet (because, apparently, they already have), they made the moon landing just to create a suit and yet they only killed one woman who had no importance to anyone.

I don't know. To me, it was all sparkle and no substance. What should've been a great plot fell flat because it was brought out too early. Instead of a single episode refreshing our minds of the characters/events of the last series (remember that "SILENCE WILL FALL!" bit in the TARDIS? The fuck was that?), we were pushed into a new arc. However, knowing where it eventually leads, I'm not as annoyed about it as I was after I'd finished watching. Moving onto the filler episodes now, we have pirates and a siren/nurse who is somehow in a different universe but in the same universe but in a spaceship on a pirate ship but...yeah, we have pirates.
A fun episode at first and a decent effort overall but nothing that really stands out. It's just an episode of Doctor Who with pirates, what you're promised is what you get so long as nobody promises you a classic episode or one that leaves you feeling 100% satisfied. Next up, we had the Neil Gaiman one. The one that had sci-fi fans creaming themselves before a plot was even released. The plot largely involved the Doctor travelling outside the universe to a location where he believed more Time Lords were alive and, wouldn't you know it, it turned out to be a trap to capture his TARDIS by a monster living inside the planet.
We had the TARDIS "soul" inhabiting a human, we had a few classic Who references and we had a good story with a few amusing moments. Again, alright TV. Following this episode, we had another two-parter involving clones of factory workers malfunctioning and sharing the conscious of the workers they came from. What started off as an interesting concept involving the Gangers gradually started to become something more...at least, I thought it would. A subplot involving Rory's interest in one of the female Gangers led me to assume the series would be leading to Amy & Rory's marriage/relationship disintegrating.

The pirate episode had Rory calling the Siren beautiful (a point that Amy is noticably upset about), the Gaiman episode had Amy in the TARDIS with an aged fake Rory trying to kill her and now this episode had Amy giving Rory looks of disbelief as he lets another woman cry on his shoulder. I believed this would tie into her pregnancy revealed in the first episode and ultimately lead to the characters going their separate ways after a bit of drama...but nope, I was wrong. Those were just unrelated moments in different episodes that had no meaning beyond the 45 minutes in which they took place.
The Gangers two-parter started off alright and had a passable second part. Not the finest the show has ever come out with, particularly around the part when one of the Gangers went full retard and turned into The Thing. The episode ended with the reveal that Amy was a Ganger and she was actually in the depths of space giving birth to a baby with Time Lord DNA. This led to the fantastic Series 6 Part 1 finale involving The Doctor & Rory getting the band back together across all of time & space in order to save the girl instead of the world.
Aside from the prophecy that the Doctor would fall further than he's ever fallen being a bit tame, it was a brilliant episode. We had the reveal of River's identity, the promise of further adventure and a short clip after the credits of a skeleton with a sonic screwdriver that went absolutely nowhere over the next 6 episodes. I enjoyed the first half of this Series, despite a dodgy start, and I definitely wanted to see more. Flash forward a few months and I was given a chance to watch the next episode at a preview event two weeks before it aired on TV. Lucky me.

Kicking the series back into action in a way infinitely superior to "The Impossible Astronaut", we had Hitler in a closet, River's regeneration, the Numbskulls from 'The Beano', Moffat humour, Moffat drama, Moffat sci-fi and a hell of a way to bring in Series 6 Part 2. I loved the episode (although probably just because I saw it at an awesome event) and it definitely signalled a strong batch of episodes to come. Filmed with the first half of the series, the Mark Gatiss spooktacular one was...well, a typical Gatiss episode. Excellent scary monster (apart from the Dalek one), good sounding plot and a naff ending.
If I had to pick a favourite creature/enemy of the series, I'd go with the living dolls in this episode. Not only do they look terrifying but they also posed a threat. If they touch you, you fucking turned into one. I guess this was also the first major flaw with the episode. Knowing Karen Gillan had filmed the rest of the series & Amy wasn't destined to die in Episode 8 scrubs over a scene with her mutating into a living doll because we know she'll be OK, as will the rest of the characters who suffered the same fate. It's like watching a Horror film where people die and then one character finds a way of just bringing the dead back to life with no consequences...or 'The Mummy Returns'.
Some regard the next episode as one of the best (and darkest) the show has possibly ever done. I enjoyed it despite having a shit TV signal that day and it certainly handled the dangers of time travel very well, asking the What If question the show had touched upon but rarely every settled down with. What if somebody gets left behind? What if somebody is forced to live out the rest of their life because of time travel gone wrong? We also saw a twisted version of Amy. She'd waited before but after nearly 40 years of living in a hospital full of robots who want to "help" her, she was ever so slightly pissed off.

I suppose two mentions are in order here. Well done to Karen Gillan for playing Amy with different emotions whilst retaining enough of the similar characteristics to remind audiences that it is the same person, just warped by years of being alone. Also well done to whoever decided against getting another actor to play the older Amy (think that may have been Karen as well). 'Supernatural' had an episode involving an older version of a main character who was played by an actor that a) sounded nothing like the guy and b) looked nothing like the guy. It takes you away from the events of the episode and reminds you that you're watching nothing more than a TV show with actors.
So yes, a highlight of the series if you're into the more emotional episodes that ask difficult questions and give you answers you might not like to hear. It's a lot better than an alternate draft that probably had Amy about a decade into a mental breakdown shaving off all her hair and drinking her own piss. Next we had an episode involving a Minotaur, a hotel, David Walliams in a role that wasn't just popular "Little Britain" characters rolled into one (something Catherine Tate failed to achieve), a mystery for future episodes and a pause in the adventures of Pond and Williams.
It was around about this point in the second half of the Series that I realised a lot of episodes seemed to be relying on emotions or remembering something to save the day. This episode had the Doctor trying to destroy Amy's faith in him (not unlike an episode from the classic series where the Doctor did exactly the same thing with companions involving Haemavores. Go ahead, look it up), the previous one had two Amy's thinking about a certain event, the episode before that had some bullshit about a father's love, even the Hitler one had the Doctor being saved by a hologram of Amelia Pond.

This episode was also another good'un if only for the concept of a hotel where every room has somebody's fear. Even if you don't like the science behind it or reason explained in the show, you'll still enjoy the ride if the writing is good enough. Episode 12 had the return of James Corden as chubby sidekick, Craig. A filler episode if ever I saw one but still entertaining and exactly what the Series needed after a couple of heavy eps. The plot involved Cybermen underground a shopping centre siphoning leccy to revive an army but they were destroyed by the power of a father's love (add that to the list above).
It ended on River waiting at the bottom of Lake Silencio* in the astronaut suit shown towards the start of the first episode, a twist most viewers will have clocked shortly after the reveal that River shoots a "good man" and the astronaut shoots the Doctor. The final episode of the Series probably would've made for a fun two-parter but it was perfectly fine as a single episode. River breaks time by wasting her ammo at Lake Silencio, condemning Earth to live out the same day with all of history taking place at once.
We have a few questions answered, namely the importance of The Silent/Silence, the function of the iPatches, the way the Doctor managed to cheat death and, most importantly, the question that was teased in "Let's Kill Hitler". The oldest question that's been staring us in the face. Now, I know I have no way of proving this and I know it sounds like I'm boasting about something that isn't important but as soon as the idea of this question was revealed by the Tessellector, I knew exactly what it was. Doctor Who? I honestly thought it was pretty obvious after "staring you in the face" but, at the same time, also very clever of Moffat. Unfortunately now it seems like he's snookered himself.

The idea is that this question should never be answered, that the Doctor's name should not be revealed...but we know River will end up finding it out (her death scene in "Forest Of The Dead", another Moffat episode) so we probably will too. More to the point, we have to ask ourselves why it can't be revealed. Why don't the Silence want people to know the Doctor's name? It could be anything from Gabriel to Feelgood and yet, for some reason, nobody can know of it. How's Moffat going to write a decent solution to that? What name could possibly be so destructive when applied to the Doctor that it may never be shared?

Jesus Christ?

If that's the road Moffat is forced to go down, he'll have to tread lighter than a human landmine tracker. The final episode of the series (that I'm counting) was the recent Christmas special involving the mum from 'Outnumbered', the funnier half of Armstrong and Miller (also the voice of MR. SMITH in 'The Sarah Jane Adventures'), self proclaimed troll Bill Bailey and a woman whose name/importance in the episode I've forgotten about. In keeping with Christmas special tradition, Moffat wrote a comic episode involving the Doctor inadvertently abducting a child having placed one in mortal danger.
We also had Moffat Monsters that looked creepy but did fuck all, a scene with a mum somehow piloting a gigantic robot (shortly before toppling it and walking through acid rain without a single piece of burnt flesh), more of the series "clap-if-you-believe-magic" solutions and a happy reunion with the Ponds...although no "Coming Soon..." preview. I would've been satisfied with Moffat sitting in a chair for 30 seconds just talking about plans into the camera. "We've got one involving gangsters, one set in a future where the Doctor has a fan convention, uhhhhh...MORE RIVER, yeah she's back...hmmmm...let's seeeeee...Weeping Angels?"
Bottom line is the series ended on a very low note when you look at the majority of episodes over the last year. It also started on one as well but, reminding you of one of my first points, the bulk of Series 6 is so fantastic that you can forgive the crummier moments. Besides, every show has the odd flop. Even 'Firefly' had that episode towards the end with the companions in that house. I definitely think this is the strongest Series since it came back in 2005 and even though my favourite episodes probably lie elsewhere, this one definitely had a few top picks. Hopefully next year will bring in another rich crop, even if it is gonna take us over half a year to find out.

* It ended on River in a Lake. Wut.

GH7:ROA DLC - December

2011-12-27T23:45:00.003Z

I know nobody's reading these, since the only people who care about GH news are only following me on Twitter & I haven't tweeted any of this crap. However, at some point in the near future, I'll probably whack out a load of links to these posts. For now, I'm just sorting all the DLC lists out so I don't have to do it then. If any of you followers are reading this now, I hope you're enjoying it. Also, constructive feedback is appreciated.
Anyway, last month we had a selection of Alternative music and Prog Rock music, with two band packs of Foo Fighters and Jefferson Airplane. This time, it's a Punk 8-pack and a Metal 8-pack with a Christmas single. The Punk pack is same as before, 4 mixed songs and 4 songs by a Punk band. The Metal pack, however, is a bit different. 8 songs by 4 bands, with each band having 2 songs each. There's also a Christmas single but I'll go into song details a bit later. Here they are:

DECEMBER WEEK 2
Punk 01 Pack

"New Rose" - The Damned, 1976
Punk, Guitar Tier 5/10
"Ever Fallen In Love" - Buzzcocks, 1978
Punk, Guitar Tier 3/10
"My Brain Is Hanging Upside Down (Bonzo Goes To Bitburg)" - Ramones, 1985
Punk, Guitar Tier 3/10
"Josie" - Blink-182, 1997
Punk, Guitar Tier 3/10

The Offspring Pack

"Come Out And Play" - The Offspring, 1994
Punk, Guitar Tier 4/10
"Half-Truism" - The Offspring, 2008
Punk, Guitar Tier 5/10
"I Choose" - The Offspring, 1997
Punk, Guitar Tier 6/10
"Hammerhead" - The Offspring, 2008
Punk, Guitar Tier 5/10

DECEMBER WEEK 4
Metal Christmas Pack + Single

"Ride The Lightning" - Metallica, 1984
Metal, Guitar Tier 9/10
"Damage, Inc" - Metallica, 1986
Metal, Guitar Tier 10/10
"Skin O' My Teeth" - Megadeth, 1992
Metal, Guitar Tier 7/10
"Head Crusher" - Megadeth, 2009
Metal, Guitar Tier 9/10
"Madhouse" - Anthrax, 1985
Metal, Guitar Tier 7/10
"I Am The Law" - Anthrax, 1986
Metal, Guitar Tier 8/10
"Angel Of Death" - Slayer, 1986
Metal, Guitar Tier 10/10
"Disciple" - Slayer, 2001
Metal, Guitar Tier 9/10

"In Dulci Jubilo" - Mike Oldfield, 1975
Pop, Guitar Tier 5/10

So this Punk pack. First thing to address: Pretty weak guitar throughout. That is, unless, you love chordfests with lots of strumming. That's Punk music on Guitar Hero for you, although the rare songs with solos are usually pretty good. Also Bass tends to be fun on most Punk songs so there's that. "New Rose" is quite a typical sounding Punk song of the 70s. Cool riff and popular too. "Ever Fallen In Love" is an RB repeat although this'd be the actual master recording. Similarly, fun riff on guitar but nothing too challenging.
The last two by the Ramones and Blink-182 are very easy on Guitar. Other than a fiddly rhythm on "Josie", they're both simple and are aimed mostly at Bass and Drums...also Vocals if you're into Punk singing/shouting. The band chosen to represent Punk is The Offspring, 90s Punk band that took Punk and made it a little bit more mainstream on American radio (I think). They've had a couple of songs on GH (3 if you include the one in my GH7 setlist) and half of these tracks are RB repeats. "Come Out And Play" is fun on Guitar and "Hammerhead" has many epic riffs that'd be brilliant to play on Guitar Hero after a decent RB chart. Also, going back to this concept, it does have great Bass parts.
"Half-Truism" was used in a GH DS game but not as RB DLC, so it'd be good to have that as full band DLC. As for "I Choose", it was recommended by a GH player on Twitter. One of the few singles by the band that has a solo (and a fun one at that), so I thought it'd be good as DLC...even if the chorus does need to be censored a little. So with the Punk done, we now come to the Metal Christmas Pack. Lots of difficult/challenging Guitar charts here so that should balance out the easier ones in the Punk pack. Also to note that the Metal artists are Metallica, Megadeth, Anthrax and Slayer. Basically, it's a Big 4 Track Pack. Merry Christmas!

"Ride The Lightning" and "Damage, Inc" are both bloody tricky on Guitar but also highly requested, even if Metallica did get a whole game. As for the two Megadeth songs, they're also hard but a little bit more fun than the Metallica ones...at least they sound it, since they're not all wrist buggering strumming. They have great solos that don't sound like you'll spend the length of it flailing on the frets. "Madhouse" was used in GH2 so it seems appropriate to bring it in as a Full Band master recording. However, since RB used it as Live DLC, it's possible it might not be available...which'd suck, because the Live recording is pretty rubbish.
Luckily, tracks from "Among The Living" are available so "I Am The Law" is fine. Finally, we end on Slayer. It's unlikely that these'd make the cut for DLC for several reasons. 1) I think Slayer are one of those bands that's "funny" about DLC releases. No exportable Slayer songs and only 1 Slayer DLC track for RB. 2) "Angel Of Death" was meant to be in GH:M but they pulled the track due to violent lyrics. Seems like that won't change, although one of the last DLC songs released did have the word "shit" in it.
3) The lyrics for "Disciple" also seem like they'll offend people, especially if the song is released in the week of Christmas. Not to worry though! If you're not in the mood for insanely difficult songs on every instrument (except maybe Vocals), there's a light-hearted Christmas single for you to enjoy. "In Dulci Jubilo" - Mike Oldfield. No vocals in this one but a cracking Guitar solo and a nice festive sound. So that's the end of that year of DLC. January goes back to normal packs and I'll post those on here at some point in that month. Until then, be seeing you.

Christmas 2011

2011-12-25T22:04:00.005Z

Right, Christmas prezzies. No stories to blog about so I might as well just crack on with my stock intake for today. Hopefully I won't forget any this time but here goes. A list of all the presents I got from everyone (not including cards...although I only got a handful of those, mostly from family) in no order of favourites:

Legend Of Zelda: Skyward Sword
Bacon Air Fresheners for the Car
"Spreading The Disease" - Anthrax album
"Filth Hounds of Hades" - Tank album
Heston Blumenthal Cookbook
"Firefly" Complete Series DVD
"Ride The Lightning" - Metallica T-Shirt
"Everything Louder Than Everything Else" - Motorhead T-Shirt
Blue Penguin "Chill Out" T-Shirt
Music Quiz Calendar
Iron Maiden Photo Tour Book
Picture Book of Boo, the World's Cutest Dog
Chocolate Penguin
Chocolate Polar Bear
Customisable Build-Your-Own Straw
Metre Of Jaffa Cakes
Spare iPod Battery Charger
Stylophone Instrument
Mini-Lego Figures
Star Wars Chewbacca Mini-Figure
Chocolate Popcorn
Hot Chocolate Chocolate Stirrer

I think that's everything and I apologise if I did forget any presents but that's still a pretty good haul. Not everything I wanted but I'm not going to kick off in a strop and cryhard on Twitter with "OMG MY MOM TOTALY RUINED CHRISTMAS!!!!!!" like a shocking number of over-privileged teenage girls who didn't get the right JLS CD with their £25 make-up kits and £60 hair straighteners. With that rant over, that's pretty much all I have to say on today. It was alright, I suppose.
As I'm getting older, Christmas is getting less magical (I'm starting to hate more and more Christmas songs each year) so I have to make do with what I've got which, as I pointed out, is still cool. Maybe not tomorrow but at some point between now and New Year's Eve I will have a look back over the last year of Doctor Who. Possibly the strongest series the show has ever had but that's not to say it's without flaws.
Until then, I hope you had a great Christmas and got most, if not everything, you asked for...provided it didn't conflict with anything I wanted, you know. Hope you have a good Boxing Day and all, even if I don't understand the point of it. "We've just had two days of holiday to do with Christmas, you know what we need? Another day off, that's what we need". Then again, not complaining. Be seeing you.

December

2011-12-24T19:26:00.004Z

Not really got an excuse for lack of blog posts recently. I've been at work, yes, but not every second of every day. I've had hours sitting at home feeling bored, often staring vacantly at the computer screen trying to think of something to do. Truth is I've been putting this off because I've obviously got no real reason to blog any more. I tweet more than anything else, often posting up to 11 tweets about whatever's on my mind. If I see a film, I'll tweet my thoughts rather than reviewing it. If I have a rant, I might tweet a series of comments about that rather than writing a whole blog post (although I still do that occasionally).

Basically, if you do enjoy my blog posts then it's well worth following me on Twitter. Yes, I do post a lot of Guitar Hero related nonsense but it's only a fraction of the GH/RB info I've got littering this site. Anyway, on with the content. I've started looking back over the last month with these posts now so instead of talking about December, I plan on recapping November. Unfortunately, since it's December 24th, I can't really remember a lot of November...especially not the 5th.
I do recall making an Epic Subway Sandwich filled with Burger King Onion Rings, KFC Popcorn Chicken, McDonalds Fries and Pizza Hut Cheese Bites as well as all the Subway Melt ingredients. Very nice sandwich. I'd definitely consider popping Onion Rings & Popcorn Chicken in again, they were fucking lovely. The Fries made it a bit too stodgy and the Pizza Bites were really just overkill for show. The first two though? Definitely improved the flavour. There are pictures of that on my Twitter account somewhere, through all the different stages of adding the many ingredients.
November had some good TV shows coming to a halt as well, I believe. 'Community' & 'Parks And Rec' were winding down although they went on Christmas/Indefinite Break in early December. The big date for me was probably the last day of November when I went to London to see Deep Purple performing at the O2. Fucking great evening, although the best bit was the warm up band. Cheap Trick. Before I saw them, I wasn't really a fan. I knew their biggest songs and I wasn't impressed by most of them but I did like a few of their singles.

They opened with "Ain't That A Shame" and then went straight into "Hello There". Just as awesome as the rerecorded version used on 'Rock Band 2'. After that, they busted out 'California Man'. Now these last two were the two songs I wanted them to perform so I was already satisfied. However, it honestly only got better as they kept on playing their tunes. "I Want You To Want Me" was really good live and they also played one of their latest singles, "Sick Man Of Europe". Very good as well. I'd say the highlight of their performance was a cover of "Magical Mystery Tour" by The Beatles. Freaking spectacular.
One of the surprising things about the warm up was that they came back for an encore. I'm sure other bands have done this but I think it's the first time I've ever seen a warm up band doing that, even though the warm up band in this case is a popular 70s Rock Band. Eventually Deep Purple came out and whacked out an OK show. They played with a 36-piece orchestra so some of their best songs they played sounded...well, different. I think my favourite song they did was a Bass Solo in the encore, although separate Guitar and Keyboard solos they played were also brilliant.
Other tracks were a bit too long a Prog-Rock themed so I wasn't that fussed by the majority of tracks but it's still awesome to be able to see I've seen Deep Purple, the loudest band in the world (at one point), playing Live at the 02...and on that note, I'm done blogging for the day. I'll probably be on again tomorrow to talk about Christmas. Be seeing you...and Merry Christmas, I guess. That's been said so many times it's kind of lost the special meaning behind it. Probably why I only say "Rest In Peace/RIP" if I knew the person or deeply respected them. Right, yep. Finishing there. Bye.

My Experience With Orange Customer Services and iPhones

2011-12-05T00:10:00.003Z

I'm aware that I usually kick off the month in blog posts with a bit of tosh about the last 4 weeks but today is different. Today I tried to put some money on my new iPhone having recently discovered that the £10 I paid for a SIM card and top-up voucher has apparently vanished. I should state that I know next to bugger all about phones and topping up money on them. Despite the fact that I was born in the 90s, my knowledge on this piece of modern technology is equal to that of somebody born when food was still being rationed.

So my story starts a few weeks ago when I finally synced my music onto the iPhone. That took nearly a month due to my computer recognising it as a camera instead of a phone but that's a rant about technology for another time. Once I realised I had a £10 top-up voucher from an Orange shop sitting on my keyboard gathering dust, I tried to sort that out so I could finally use my second hand tablet for something other than a pricey paperweight. This was when I asked my followers on Twitter how I'd find my phone number, another glimpse into my lack of education regarding mobile phones.
Have any of you tried using the Orange automated service before? It's very soothing and sounds like you're talking to an actual person due to the casual speech mannerisms but, within minutes, it became clear that I needed to talk to another human being as I was getting nowhere with the recorded dialogue on the other end of the line. It took me a while to find out which number to enter but eventually I was asked to pop in the 19 digit code. I did this four times before the system gave up and patched me through to someone. In my defence, after the third go, it read out the first 6 numbers of my code. I clearly had the right one, since it recited it back to me and I got it spot on each time.
But this is just an intro to the main story. Basically, I was sorted out with a new number and the man on the other end claimed I'd have my money "in a while". I can remember pausing after hearing that and replying, "Right, see, this is what...what do you mean 'a while', how long's a while?" Supposedly 'a while' is the same as 'a few hours', so I didn't argue with him. Two days or so later and after I tried to text for the first time, I discovered I had no credit.

Despite the fact that I could receive messages, I couldn't reply OR hear any of the voicemail. Since I plan on going to London for the day tomorrow, I figured it'd be best if I got this sorted out tonight so I wouldn't be stuck in the middle of my hometown in the dead of night with nobody to pick me up and a couple of the local alcocunts ready to start punching me in the back of the head again*. I called the regular number to try and talk to somebody at Orange again about where my money went (not in a Ray Winstone fashion, mind. "WHERE'S THE FACKIN' MANNY?!?!" No, not that) but was met with a response along the lines of, "Sorry, you don't have enough credit. If you'd like to top up, press 1. If not, hang up". Well gee, let me think for a second.
I tried putting in the 19 digit number for my tenner again but, unsurprisingly, got nowhere. The machine tried putting me through to somebody at Orange but I was met with the familiar response. "Sorry, you don't have enough credit. If you'd like to top up, press 1. If not, hang up". OK, here goes. Third time lucky! I'll try and put some more money on my phone so I can call these people and ask what happened to the first amount of dosh. I pressed the number for topping up with a card and it let me know that I could enter info with my voice or the keypad. If anybody at Orange is reading this, there is a significant flaw in your system that I'll try to draw attention to with flashing lights/swear words.
It asked me to state my post code and first line of address. So far, no problems. It recited it back to me and, I'll admit, I had high hopes. Everything was going better than expected and I'd soon be well on my way to sorting out why I had no fucking cash. Oh, how foolish of me to assume things would be easy, especially with modern technology. Especially with something that everyone else finds easy. No, no, if using Virgin Media broadband has taught me anything it's that nothing like this is ever pissing easy. The machine needed another piece of information from me that proved to be the most difficult. My surname.

I don't have a difficult surname. People have misheard it throughout my life but honest to God, it's not that hard to pronounce. Farrier. F A R R I E R. Rhymes with Barrier (schoolkids made that abundantly clear years 7 through 11). However, I was stood in my bedroom saying "FAH-REE-ER!" into a small device like a right div only to be met with 'OK, so that's "CLARISSA'. Is that right?" What's worse is that my tolerance had started to wear thin so the pitch and volume of my negative reply confused the system even more.
It started coming back with "Just a Yes or No will do", like a wife replying to her agitated husband. This went on for a few minutes, trying to work out whether my surname was "CELIA" or "MORRISON". Finally, the machine gave up yet again and tried contacting a person at Orange for me. "Sorry, you don't have enough credit. If you'd like to top..." OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE!!! When it comes to logging a surname, you can't trust a machine. In the end, after going through the process again, I had to settle with "Marriott" as my surname. Thankfully, it got my first name in a few seconds.
It proceeded to tell me about putting my card details in and how they'd check on a system to see if my details I gave earlier matched up with my card. I was tempted to hang up there and then, for fear of getting nowhere once they realised I gave a different name. Who knows, maybe there's a Mr. Marriott with the same card number as me. If there is, sorry man. I've had a tenner from your account. If it's any consolation, Orange may have nicked a tenner from me and all. This whole situation had been irritating enough but I still hadn't figured out the main problem. What happened to my money? I was now able to give Orange Customer Services a ring, even if it did cost me 25p.

Now I'll try my best to copy the exact speech used in the conversation between myself and the Orange employee but, obviously, most of it will be paraphrased. We'll call the woman on the other end Daisy, since I doubt that's her real name. I would've recorded it but remember that guff earlier about me being crap with technology? Yeah, same goes for computers too. Wouldn't now how to upload sound files to Youtube OR how to bleep out the important bank info that was exchanged. Plus the conversation was around 15 minutes long so I've edited this down a little. Anyway, here goes:

DAISY: Hello, this is Orange Customer Services. How may I help?
ME: ... Hello? Yeah, this is about topping up with a voucher. I tried putting in £10 a week ago but...
DAISY: Hello?
ME: Yeah, hello?
DAISY: Hi there.
ME: Yeah, hi. This is about topping up my iPhone. I tried putting in a tenner with a 19 digit code through your Orange number, talking with somebody, and they said it had gone through on the night. A few days later and I couldn't access my voicemail or messages, I just want to know what happened to my money.
DAISY: OK Mr. Marriott, we'll have a look at your data over the last month.
ME: Yeah, that's another thing as well. I tried to state my surname over your system but it wouldn't accept it so I had to leave it as Marriott, I need that changed too.
DAISY: Well your current balance is £8.75.
ME: It's...right, hold on, I just topped up with £10.
DAISY: Yes.
ME: And this call is a one-off 25p?
DAISY: That's right.
ME: ...so between topping up and calling you, I've lost a quid.
DAISY: Uhhh, OK. Can I ask when you tried to top up your phone with the code?
ME: ...Yeah, the 19 digit one? Hang on a second. Trying to remember. I can't tell you the exact date but it was towards the end of November.
DAISY: OK then Mr. Marriott, I just need to put you on hold for a few moments if that's alright?
ME: Yeah, that's fine. It's not Marriott it's...
(ON HOLD NOW. SHITTY POP SONG WITH THE WORDS "BABY" PLAYING OVER AND OVER AGAIN THAT ISN'T BY JUSTIN BIEBER COMES ON)
ME: ...the fuck is this?
(SONG FADES OUT AFTER A FEW MINUTES. SOME DIRGE BY THE KILLERS STARTS PLAYING)
DAISY: (music fades out) Hello?
ME: Yes, hello!
DAISY: Sorry for keeping you Mr. Marriott, I just had to check on another computer. Our system runs on different apps and the app for last month is currently upgrading. Basically, there was a slight glitch in our system and, because you're new with us, we've decided to generously give you an extra £5 credit.
ME: ...OK, thank you, that's great but remember my problem earlier about the missing £10?
DAISY: Yes.
ME: ...well, do you have anything about that?
DAISY: Ah, well our system is upgrading so you'll receive a text about that in the next 72 hours after we investigate what could've happened to your money.
ME: Right, brilliant. Few other things. Firstly, how much does it cost to use voicemail?
DAISY: 25p a minute.
ME: OK. Secondly, how much does it cost to use Internet services on the iPhone?
DAISY: It should be around £4 a minute but you're on the Dolphin network which means you can get up to 400 free weekend texts and 100MB of Internet per month if you top up with £10 or more.
(AT THIS POINT, I HEARD LOUD LAUGHTER ON THE OTHER END OF THE LINE)
ME: Great but, as I've said, I DID top up with £10 and it's gone. Also, I've used the Internet a few times on my phone but it's always been with the WiFi at my own house. Are you charging me to use my own service?
DAISY: No, no, it's just...we'll look into it and we'll text you back, Mr. Marriott.
(WE THEN HAD A BRIEF DISCUSSION ABOUT MY SURNAME AND DAISY SORTED OUT MY CORRECT CONTACT DETAILS FOR A FEW MINUTES. AFTER ALL IS WELL, WE BOTH GO OUR SEPARATE WAYS. END SCENE)

So there you have it. Maybe I'm the idiot who stupidly spent his money using the Internet on his iPhone under the belief that WiFi he's already paying for shouldn't cost extra but a) That's a load of bullshit and b) I didn't receive a single text telling me that I was low on credit...at all. Not one, and it went down to 1p. Bonus piece of information: I had 1 voicemail message from one of my bosses at work asking me to work half an hour early on the 30th November, a.k.a. the day when people went on strike. I only found that out today. Probably would've been really useful for me to come in 30 mins early too, since it was heaving.
Anyway, that's that sorted...hopefully. I'm tempted to let it go, since they're trying to help me and I've almost gone beyond the point of caring. Besides, I may be able to look back on this experience one day and turn it into a funny scene on a TV show I'll be writing. That's one of the reasons I like to blog experiences in my life. Hope you found it as amusing as I did, or those chaps on the other end of the line (maybe it was something else they were laughing at, I don't know). At some point this week, I'll talk about my November and the meals I made/planned for this month. Be seeing you.

* I feel like I'm never going to let this go until I can get Batman justice done on their arses. Suiting up and beating down.

GH7:ROA DLC - November

2011-11-26T23:32:00.002Z

I had planned on doing this on the 2nd Tuesday of the month but in the end, I thought it'd be better to leave it for a Saturday so that I could replace the most recent post on the blog with one to do with Doctor Who on the following Sunday. Trust me, it'll make sense tomorrow. Anyway, last month I wrote up a post about what I'd do for October's GH7:ROA DLC if I had the power. This time, it's November.
October had 10 songs in one pack and 6 in another, bringing the monthly total to 16. Similarly, this month also has 16 songs but both packs have an equal 8 songs. I know that's generous for the amount of DLC we had at the start of this year but songs could easily be left out. This is just me doing more than I need to instead of less than I need to. So, two weeks of DLC for the month. On the first week (well, second week of the month but first week of the schedule), we have...

NOVEMBER WEEK 2
Alternative 01 Pack

"Novocaine For The Soul" - Eels, 1996
Alternative, Guitar Tier 4/10
"Hysteria" - Muse, 2003
Alternative, Guitar Tier 5/10
"Megalomaniac" - Incubus, 2003
Alternative, Guitar Tier 5/10
"Paranoid Android" - Radiohead, 1997
Alternative, Guitar Tier 6/10

Foo Fighters Pack

"Learn To Fly" - Foo Fighters, 1999
Alternative, Guitar Tier 4/10
"Breakout" - Foo Fighters, 1999
Alternative, Guitar Tier 5/10
"The Pretender" - Foo Fighters, 2007
Alternative, Guitar Tier 5/10
"Bridge Burning" - Foo Fighters, 2011
Alternative, Guitar Tier 7/10

NOVEMBER WEEK 4
Prog Rock 01 Pack

"Sylvia" - Focus, 1972
Prog Rock, Guitar Tier 5/10
"Traveller In Time" - Uriah Heep, 1972
Prog Rock, Guitar Tier 6/10
"Owner Of A Lonely Heart" - Yes, 1983
Prog Rock, Guitar Tier 6/10
"Freewill" - Rush, 1980
Prog Rock, Guitar Tier 8/10

Jefferson Airplane Pack

"White Rabbit" - Jefferson Airplane, 1967
Psychedelic Rock, Guitar Tier 2/10
"Volunteers" - Jefferson Airplane, 1969
Rock, Guitar Tier 5/10
"3/5 Of A Mile In 10 Seconds (Live)" - Jefferson Airplane, 1969
Psychedelic Rock, Guitar Tier 9/10
"Let Me In" - Jefferson Airplane, 1966
Rock, Guitar Tier 6/10

Quite a mixed selection of modern and "classic" music there. First up, we have the Alternative TP and the Foo Fighters TP released on the same day. 4 songs that represent the Alternative Rock genre and 4 songs by the Foo Fighters (one of the biggest Alternative Rock bands on the planet). Obviously it's better to try and make most of the DLC songs new to rhythm music games but, every now and then, it's good to get one that might already be in Rock Band just so people who like that song can play it on GH in case they don't like/own RB.
The first TP for the month has one RB repeat, although it is Muse so I reckon most GH fans would be more than happy with that. The other songs are pretty cool too. The Eels track is quite relaxed and wouldn't be too much of a challenge for guitar players. As for the Muse track, that has a lot of hammer-on sections with the main riff so plenty of fun there. The Incubus track would need a fair bit of censoring but other than that, it sounds like it'd translate well into GH. The Radiohead track also has a cool riff & solos to play, plus some funky vocals to boot as well. Now, let's look at the Foos!
Alright, at the time of writing this blog post, MOST of these tracks have already been on Rock Band. MOST of them. 'Learn To Fly' is a popular song with a decent track for the whole band. As for 'Breakout', I'm mostly picking this for the Vocals. Screaming "BREAKOUUUUUUUUT!!!" into the mic must be pretty cool. 'The Pretender' is probably my favourite song by the band and even though it's been in both Rock Band & Guitar Hero already, the upgraded note charts on GH should make it different to play than both of those existing charts. Sustain notes within sustains and the like. Finally, 'Bridge Burning', the new track. Lots of triple strum gallops here should make this a challenge to play for the average play. A fun challenge, mind.

I picked that song instead of the singles on the new album because a) RB has the new singles and b) It sounds like it has more energy than those tracks. Right, the second week of DLC. We kick off with a Prog Rock pack featuring two songs from the 70s and two songs from the 80s. The Focus song is short, easy but definitely sweet. An instrumental piece with some great riffs. As for the Uriah Heep one, that sounds like it'd be cool to play on Guitar. Lots of 'Wah-Wah' effects and a kickass riff. Meanwhile, the 80s tracks are a little bit harder to play. The Yes song may already be on RB but I think they may have undercharted a few sections. Plus it's a great song, let's not forget that.
The Rush song packs a mean punch with the hammer-on clusterfuck solo that comes out of fucking nowhere. Hard for the inexperienced player but fun for everyone else. The second part of this DLC is a 4-pack of Jefferson Airplane songs. OK, they're not Prog Rock. They're Psychedelic Rock and/or Rock. The first track is arguably their signature song, "White Rabbit". Easy on Guitar but a must-have for a Jefferson Airplane pack. 'Volunteers' has less of a Psychedelic Rock vibe but it's still an awesome tune with the same vibe that makes 'Fortunate Son' - CCR a great protest song.
Now '3/5 Of A Mile In 10 Seconds (Live)' is a version of the song that was re-released on several Live Digital albums you can find on Spotify and iTunes. It's a brilliant version of the song with a whole bunch of difficult solos. Very surprising for this band but certainly one to pick up if you like a challenge on Guitar. 'Let Me In' is just a fairly basic Rock song by the band, nothing out of the ordinary there. The other little point I should make about these songs is that GH7:ROA would have Lead and Rhythm Guitar so tracks like 'The Pretender' - Foo Fighters would have 3 different charts. One Lead, One Rhythm and One as a basic Guitar track with both mixed into one awesome chart.

Right then, that's it for Guitar Hero posts this month. At some point in December, I'll tackle the next TP. A very atypical Christmas selection, I'll say that much for now. Be seeing you.

November

2011-11-08T21:46:00.004Z

Bit late this. Never mind, I'm getting back into blogging now. So what's been going on in my life over the last month? Aside from the blog posts and work, not a lot. I've been revisiting the video game "Bully" on the Wii. In case you didn't play it, it's basically just GTA set in a school (made by the same developers). Very fun, very entertaining and very underrated. Either way, I like it and I've just finished it again. Probably won't try to collect everything again, since I've already done it once and I only wanted to revisit the story.

Other games I might try and revisit are "Red Dead Redemption: Undead Nightmare" and "Spongebob Squarepants: Battle For Bikini Bottom". Top quality games there. I'm sure there are other things I've been up to during the month but nothing comes to mind. I didn't do anything for Halloween and, as a result, probably put on quite a bit of weight from eating candy bought for Trick Or Treaters. I suppose I could tell you a little about the special holidays I celebrate. The last one was on November 1st. I call it "Palloween". Basically, it means Post-Halloween...but I combined it to make it sound official.
These can be celebrated by anyone who doesn't give a sugared toss about all of these fake holidays like Halloween, Thanksgiving, Valentine's Day, Easter, etc. Any holiday where sweet/snack companies produce special versions of their products based on the event, e.g. Halloween candy, Valentine's Day chocolates, Easter Eggs, you know the sort. All of these things are on normal price systems until the day after the holiday, then the massive sales begin. If you don't care about Easter or any of those events, you can get a shitload of sweets for a cheap price. That's what I celebrate.
So yeah, I have Palloween, Peaster, Palentine's Day, Pexmas*, Pother's Day, Pather's Day, Ponfire Night...not sure if there are any others but you get the picture. Like I said, any event where they have special food products out that go on sale immediately after the holiday is over. Worth trying out if you're in a food mood. Speaking of Food Mood, I also made a special Burger designed to look like a severed head. Twas epic. I think I did something else that was awesome with food as well. Not sure though, quite a busy month with work and everything.

Anyway, November should be a bit better for me. Several TV shows are on in both England & America and I'm very happy at work. Everything seems to be working out and I have a month to complete my New Year's Resolution. I won't tell you what it is just yet but I will say that I'll be very lucky if I can pull it off. I've thought of my 2012 Resolution and I'll let you know what that is next year. Right, that's this blog post done. I'll be firing out a GH related one in a few mins. Be seeing you.

* Post-Xmas. I was going to call it Pistmas although I already have my own special event with that name...but that is a story for another time.

Revenge: How To Get The Ultimate Form Of Payback

2011-10-28T22:30:00.004+01:00

Throughout my life, I have cursed myself for not getting an appropriate form of payback against the people I've felt have wronged me. It's just as well, I suppose, otherwise several innocent people would've been punished for something they didn't deserve. However, I'm still kicking myself for not finding one magnificent way of getting back against the people who have royally fucked me over in my life. There are people who screwed me in every hole and got away with it, something that often keeps me awake at night.
Who knows, maybe I'll come across those twats in the future and I'll have a chance to unleash years of accumulated rage via one awesome form of epic payback but, until then, all I can do is hold grudges and plan. That's when I had an idea for the ultimate form of payback. An act of revenge so genius, so fantastic and so mindblowingly epic that I doubt anyone else has ever attempted it, nor would they plan on doing so. It may sound like something out of a film plot but trust me, with the right resources and a bit of luck, it could very well work.

First things first, I need to lay out the scenario and get a few items out in the open so you understand what I'm talking about. There are 3 types of revenge: Petty, Serious & Nuclear. Petty Revenge is the result of somebody pulling a prank on you or a friend landing you in it. Something that has no long lasting effects but, for a short amount of time, fills you with anger. An anger that needs to be diminished and the only way possible is to get a bit of Karma going. This involves responding with another cheap prank, turning the relationship into a series of harmless Petty Revenge. Nobody gets hurt, everyone has a laugh in the end.
Next is Serious Revenge. If somebody wrongs you and your anger at them reaches near critical level, this is usually where Serious Revenge comes in. If somebody steals your idea for something, reaps the benefits and then has a better life as a result of your work, you have every right to get some Serious Revenge on their arse. This could involve a series of plans leading to them losing more than they had in the first place, usually the kind of thing that would not be carried out between two mates. If you can get away with it, good for you. If you're caught, consider the bridge well & truly burnt.
Finally, there's the Nuclear Option (as mentioned in the finale of 'Malcolm In The Middle'). This doesn't burn the bridge but rather irradiates the miles of land around it so nobody can live there or build anything resembling a bridge there for several hundred years. If you've got nothing left to lose and you're willing to share the fallout from this act of comeuppance just to screw over the victim then you go Nuclear. If you're the kind of person prepared to sacrifice all you hold dear, changing your life forever and possibly even coming out of the situation worse than the person you're trying to nuke, you need to think every aspect through in order to cover all the angles and remain at least 3 steps ahead.
The form of payback you're about to read belongs to the Nuclear category.

I've come up with a 5 Point Plan to strike back against your targets but be warned; if you do plan on acting this out then, make no mistakes, it has not been 100% thought through. It's only in the early stages of the development process, much like my recent theory on Deaf People, and will probably fail if anyone tries it out based on my advice alone. However, like every single great plan in existence, it needs some more input to sort out the problems. It needs another mind to say, "Hold on, that won't work. You need to go back the blueprints on this one".
Once the feedback has been given, the original creator of the plan can revise it and iron out all the creases until it's damn near perfect. What I'm saying is that if you have any constructive criticism on how to make this better, I'm all ears...well, eyes, since I'll be reading your comments on this blog post. Anyway, before I list the stages of this plan, I need to tell you about the conditions necessary in order for it to work. These are key points so a bit of legwork might be required on your part.
You need to be involved in some kind of accident that leaves you with a 50/50 chance of dying. I know, it's hard to pull off. That's why it's not Serious or Petty Revenge, you need to gamble. If anything, this is more of a blog post telling you what to do IF you might die in a hospital and you want payback on people. Unfortunately, this plan involves you playing the long game so if you're terminally ill or suffering from injuries that make it impossible for you to leave the hospital/recover from your wounds in under a few years without quality medical care, it will not work for you.

Here are the 5 steps you need to remember and successfully pull off if you want this plan to work. Each stage has a few smaller segments to it so don't expect this to be easy:

1) Before you end up in hospital (or whilst in your hospital bed, if you have a good memory), write & memorise a dynamic Fuck You monologue aimed at the people in your life who have shat on you the most. The ones you want to affect in this payback also need to be contactable, so keep this to enemies whom still remember you and would visit you if you were requested to say your last goodbyes to them.
When you eventually end up in hospital (think of this as 1.5), get somebody to contact all of the people who you want revenge on. Make sure they all come to see you in the hospital on a certain date all together at the same time. If they really think you're dying and you really made enough of an impact, they should turn up. If they don't, you're obviously up a gumtree. Better to invite the people who you'd call "enemies". Genuine rivals or nemeses whom you had a Holmes/Moriarty relationship with. Bastards who loathed you but, in a twisted kind of way, respected you.
Now this speech needs to be powerful, it needs to list the reasons why you hate them along with what they've done to piss you off. This is also vital in giving it one last thought because once the monologue has been delivered, that's it. You've crossed the point of no return. The monologue needs to be personal and strong so that they wouldn't dare interrupt it, cutting you off mid-stream. What's more, it needs to contain the following things:

a) Reasons why you hate the person/people, as we've already covered.
b) The fact that you plan on getting revenge on them all, one by one.
c) Pseudo-Biblical prophecies about strange things happening before you plan on coming back, e.g. birds falling from the sky, sewage rising to the streets, etc. Just make sure these things can actually occur if you work at it, don't start spouting seemingly impossible phenomenons unless you're 100% sure they'll really happen in a few years.
d) Promise them you'll be back to get revenge. Make this dark & threatening. Put all of your creative abilities into writing a final line determined to make them feel a little bit freaked out by your commitment to your own belief that they'll pay for their sins.
e) A final line. Something memorable, something unique. NOT a film quote, it's already been said. This is eventually going to be your legacy, don't borrow somebody else's thunder when you can make your own. If necessary, to drive it in, say your last line and follow it with "Oh yes" before repeating the line again.
At this moment, Step 2 goes into action.

2) With the payback victims by your side, your last words delivered and Step 1 complete, you need to pull some incredible acting skills out of your arse. You need to die. Not literally, of course. You need to fake your death. I know this sounds tricky and the plan could fall to pieces here if your rivals are more intelligent than you (and let's face it, if you're taking my advice on revenge then that could well be the case) but, in theory...crucial words there...in theory, you should be able to create the illusion of dying if you're attached to one of those heart monitors that has a finger clip.
When you deliver the last words, you should have a chance to unclip your heart monitor from your finger if your speech is good enough. It'll start flatlining and they'll assume it's because you've died and not because of what you're doing under the covers. If you have the undivided attention of the people you're talking to, they won't notice you unclipping it as you take your final breath and fall back onto your pillow, feigning death. The illusion of your passing should fool them and, hopefully, the hospital staff if they know you're in a bad way...not too bad though, you need to have a 50/50 chance of pulling through on your own.
Also, pray to Christ they don't try to use the defibrillator on you, otherwise you might actually die in agonising pain. Probably best to get an accomplice to help the additional details, e.g. contacting your enemies, sabotaging the defibrillator, clearing your enemies out of the room, etc. They'll have other roles to play later as well. Eventually, your "dead" body will be taken out of the room and down to the body storage unit. Now Step 3 is also quite tricky with a lot of detail missing but I'm sure there's a way around it. There has to be.

3) Once you're out of the way, you need to escape. The hospital staff who called your time of death can't notice you, your enemies DEFINITELY can't notice you, random patients or staff who know your face can't notice you. You have to be sneaky as a fucking ninja here. If necessary, get your accomplice from earlier to act as a distraction so you can make a getaway. If you want, use the Dr Richard Kimble "Fugitive" method of escaping by stealing a uniform from somewhere and walking out of the front door like you work there every day.
Additional notes: You'll need to find a way of making the disappearance of your body look natural. Maybe your accomplice could swap bodies with another corpse or you could pre-arrange a request that your body be taken to a certain location immediately after the time of death. Just make sure you have an escape plan, OK? Hospital stealth plan might work better in case you need to steal medical supplies to survive. Remember you are injured and if not treated properly, you might die before getting to carry out your revenge.
Step 4 requires patience, intelligence, valuable resources and commitment. It could arguably be the hardest section of all...although that's saying something, if you've been paying attention so far.

4) Find somewhere to hide and get better over time. During this time, plot your revenge. Now an amateur would just go about getting revenge on their enemies in a short amount of time with no build up. Fair play, each to their own...although, if you want to go down in history books as an evil genius, you need to be able to wait until the right time. If you took my advice and included several fake-sounding prophecies into your Fuck You speech delivered at the hospital, you need to get working on making those a reality straight away.
If you promised blood in the water, you need to find a way of making that happen. Just a reminder: don't promise things you know you can't do in a million years. Remember, there is no hurry. Ideally, you should be looking at 5 years of planning for this. Granted the rage you felt for them may have faded over that time but fuck that, you're in WAY too deep to pussy out now. Also keep in mind that you're legally dead.You have to start a new identity, find a way of getting money, hide from people who could identify you.
You'll have to grow facial hair, slightly change your appearance, act differently, it's a challenge...but it'll be worth it if it works. In the years you're hiding and planning, take several things into account. Your enemies WILL move on. They'll change their personalities and the things they once held dear to them may mean nothing any more. You have to try and monitor their developments throughout this time, finding a way of getting back at them in the years to come. Another way your plan could turn to shit is if most of them die before you get a chance to stick the knife in. That'd be embarrassing.

Basically, in a 5 year timescale between escaping and Step 5, you need to have done 3 things. Remembered your exact words from the speech so you can recreate them on a large scale, plotted the way you can recreate these moments from your speech, planned a way to catch and get revenge on your enemies. When the time is right, e.g. a few days before the 5 year anniversary of the day you "died", start making the prophecies come true.
Whatever you did to ensure blood in the water of the area where they all live, do it. If you found a way of releasing a large supply of insects into a public building or whatever, go for it. Hopefully, if you made a big enough impact on your rivals, they should start to remember the things you said. Make sure to do them in order so that they know what's coming next. That way, when it happens, they'll know shit's about to go down. On the anniversary of your "death", after completing the above tasks, Step 5 is ready to begin. Payback time!

5) Dig up your grave, burst the coffin open like some unholy force propelled itself out, kill all of the flowers/grass surrounding your grave within a certain diameter and get ready to have some fun. In an equal timescale, e.g. one enemy every 3 days, find a way of getting somebody on their own. Once that's happened, you can get revenge on them in your own unique way. Now this requires more imagination from you. I can only suggest a few ways of fucking with them but depending on how much you hate them, things will vary.
If you despise them more than anything, you'll probably be willing to kill them. It's not like you've got anything else to lose and hell, we're following a stereotypical horror movie plot anyway. However, that's not what I'd do. I'd leave survivors if only to tell the others about what they can expect...also that the person who swore to get revenge on them is back from the dead. It's not enough to simply spook them, you need to destroy something that belonged to them in the same way they (presumably) destroyed something of yours.
For example, if I extremely hated a guy who constantly got the attention of sexually active females and had a habit of stealing girls I was interested in, I might do a few things. I'd mutilate their genitalia, sew up their anus & try to find a way of using hypnotic recordings played whilst they were asleep to make them gay. THAT is the level of payback you need to be willing to go to if you're seriously considering this.

If possible, each personal vendetta needs to get more extreme so the ones towards the end of your list get the added bonus of feeling unbearable fear as they count down the days until their punishment. When you've finally finished your revenge, teaching them all that they made a colossal mistake screwing with you, you need to vanish. Move to another country or just far, far away from them. If you did a good enough job, they won't want to personally find you again. In fact, some of them may not be able to find you again in the state they're in.
The last person to receive their specific torture should really be left in a state similar to those who spend their remaining days screeching in an Insane Asylum. You want to break these people beyond the point that can be repaired, truly shattering their lives in a way that only a deep hatred and years of planned revenge can. But like I was saying, you need to find somewhere else to live and a new identity. Once you've done that, start your new life. Carry on where you left off before you had your near fatal accident all those years ago.
Better yet, start a new dream! If you're still quite young, maybe you can begin a family. OK, you might spend a lot of your time looking over your shoulder for anyone trying to get severe revenge on you (not ruling it out, just warning you) but you'll have done it. You'll have pulled a Jesus! A dark, twisted, bitter, angry, psychopathic Jesus but an impressive feat nonetheless. You returned from the dead and got revenge on everyone who wronged you, setting the bar at an all time high for people not to fuck with.

This next part is optional but if you want to become a legend, you need to find a way of spreading the story without ending up behind bars, paying for the things you did to your enemies. News of your work may have spread across the media as a result of your rivals trying to get the police involved but those are 2nd hand accounts of the story. Perhaps on your genuine deathbed, when your family has branched out and the eleventh hour is almost at an end, you can reveal your story to your sons/daughters and their kids.
They can pass it down from generation to generation, gradually becoming a tale that'll almost certainly become exaggerated over time. The man who cheated death & did it like a fucking boss! So let's review the points in short stages. Plan a Fuck You monologue aimed at your enemies, get them in the same room at the same time to deliver it to them, fake your death, escape, plot your revenge, make the prophecies you created come true, get payback one by one, start a new life, become a champion.
There are many areas of that plan that could and will go wrong if you actually try it out. This is mostly the work of fiction that I may develop into some kind of writing project one day but now you know what my mind's capable of and the things I think of on a daily basis, I guess you know why I'm not really surrounded by friends or people who want to hang out with me at the moment.

Damn, I have issues. Next blog post will be more comical and less mental. Be seeing you.

Deaf People: A Nonaggressive Theory

2011-10-26T00:01:00.005+01:00

I'm not sure if I've posted my theory on deaf people before but, if I haven't, prepare to have your mind blown. First things first, I'd like to get something crystal clear. I'm not trying to have a pop at deaf people. I don't see them as an easy target, I don't want to make this into a bullying post about people with a disability and I sure as shit wouldn't wish loss of hearing on anybody. With the amount of music I listen to on a daily basis, I think I'd probably kill myself if I every permanently lost my hearing.

Anyway, with that out of the way, here's something for you to think about. I remember reflecting on this a while ago when I served a customer at Happy Days Milkshakes (remember I used to work at a Milkshake shop? More blog posts on that to come soon) who had a hearing aid. He was nice and I tried to direct him to the train station, since he wasn't a paying customer but just wanted directions. After he left, I got thinking. I've only ever seen people who had minor hearing problems that could be fixed by a hearing aid...yet I've never seen or interacted with a full blown deaf person in my entire life.
I've seen blind people quite a lot and I've even helped one out of a train station with a friend (this blog post is brought to you by National Rail) but I've never met a deaf person who had one of those speech impediments as a result of being properly deaf. Granted it's hard to notice them, since they obviously don't walk around in a T-Shirt reading "My ears don't work. I'm fair game, y'all!" but I'm not sure if that's unusual or not...the lack of deaf people, not the shirt thing. Have any of my readers ever met a deaf person who 100% couldn't hear anything? I started working on a theory after this realisation.
I know deaf people exist, I'm not saying this is a fucking conspiracy theory or anything. I just wonder where they are since they definitely live in the same community as us. I've been all over the world, met thousands of different people throughout my life via school and different jobs but none of those people have been completely deaf. So what am I missing? Maybe it's something sitting right in front of me that's soared over my head due to me being an idiot but this is what I'm working with.

My theory is that deaf people are nocturnal.

I believe deaf people only come out at night and return back to bed when everybody else starts to get up. I'm not basing this on the fact that I've never met any deaf people, I've tried to be logical about this. In fact, I'll list all the reasons I have to believe they only come out at night and have their own society that we're not a part of because we're all asleep.

1) How do we wake up? What common tool do we use to bring us out of sleep? The answer is an Alarm Clock. Now if you've ever tried sleeping without an alarm clock in a nice comfy bed, you'll find you damn near fall into a coma. If you can't hear an alarm clock going off, your sleep schedules are bound to be pretty messed up. This is where deaf people potentially make the transition. Also, it's not like random noises in the night will wake them up. From an early age, I reckon they'll get used to sleeping through the day and being wide awake at night.

2) If you can't hear anything, it's a hell of a lot easier to go outside at night than it is during the day. When it comes to things like crossing roads, it might be tricky if you can't hear a car coming from the other direction. However, any cars driving at night have to have their lights on. Deaf person sees the lights, doesn't cross the road. During the day, things are a lot more complicated. Not just that but the places like 24 hour supermarkets, fast food establishments and petrol forecourts that stay open at night are perfect for deaf people.
You don't need to be able to hear anything to buy things from a supermarket, since everything is right in front of you and the amount you have to pay is usually highlighted on a cash register screen. Fast food places have pictures of everything that deaf people can point to. As for petrol forecourts...well, even people with perfect hearing will probably have trouble understanding what Igor the trolley boy is trying to tell you from behind the counter. Makes no difference to deaf people if they can't quite make out the slurred "YoO goT A nECTuRR carRd?".

3) It's a common misconception that by losing one sense, some of your other senses are dramatically improved. But then again, I imagine there has to be an element of truth in that. Surely it's easier to focus on your eyesight if you can't get distracted by sound like a reverse Daredevil, otherwise why would people close their eyes when trying to concentrate or recall a sense? This means it wouldn't be much of a problem dealing with dark nights, since the eyesight of deaf people should be improved beyond normal eyesight quality. Whilst I have no proof backing any of this up, I'd like to remind you that it is still a theory.

4) Kind of backing up point #2 here but it's also pretty safe in rough areas for deaf people. If you're out late one night and you pass a club or pub in an aggressive area on a student night, for example, there's a chance you might have to deal with pissed wankers who want to pick a fight. Hell, one of them might start punching you in the back of the head over and over again whilst calling you a cunt because you gave a sarcastic reply to a question his mate asked that was taking the piss out of your hairstyle anyway (I literally wish all of those spunkstains from Woking simultaneously get lung or throat cancer).
If you're normal, you have no safety net to fall back on. To a cunt on the street, they can attack you and not have any reason to feel disgusted with themselves. If you're deaf, it seems unlikely that they'll take a swing. After all, you have to be one lowlife scumbag to beat up a disabled person, although having a light-hearted rib via blog posting is totally different...what? IT IS! The point I'm trying to make is that similar to kids that wore glasses in the playground, you have a minor level of Tosser-Deterrent in being unable to hear, since it shouldn't take too long for someone to figure out you're deaf if you a) talk using sign language or b) talk with a speech impediment.

Now I know the above reasons haven't really been scientific, factual or even intelligent to a degree that most successful theories run with. Hell, I've just read through the things I've been saying and it looks like I need an incredible save to stop myself from coming across as a tremendous dick. Luckily, I think I have it.
I have one more argument that I've been keeping up my sleeve that suddenly makes my theory seem a lot more realistic. After reading it, you can look into it as much as you want. Make up your own minds regarding whether you think I'm talking out of my arse or whether I'm onto something about deaf people being nocturnal but screw it, here goes.

You know those special edited TV shows that have the lady in the bottom right hand corner performing sign language for deaf people?

When are they always on?

I rest my case.

Ikea: There's A First Time For Everything

2011-10-24T01:56:00.004+01:00

If you've heard of Ikea, you probably know it as a franchise of department stores with the furniture and funny names. That's part of the magic behind it but there's also a lot more. Earlier this month, I joined my mum & my nan on a trip to Ikea. I decided to tag along because a) I didn't really have a lot to do that day and b) They sold me the idea of a Full English breakfast with Hash Browns at a built in cafe.

Now, if you know me, you'll know I rarely turn down the opportunity for a cooked breakfast with Hash Browns on the menu. I maintain the belief that every Full English breakfast should include Hash Browns, Sausage, Bacon, Beans and Eggs of either a Scrambled, Fried, Poached or Omletted variety. Those are the Breakfast Power 5 and they are necessary for an acceptable Full English breakfast. Extra items such as Mushrooms, Black puddings and Tomatoes can improve it depending on your own taste. Personally, I dislike any breakfast that substitutes Hash Browns for Tomatoes. I only want Tomatoes on my plate if they've been made into Heinz Ketchup sauce.
Anyway, enough about that. I like my breakfast with Hash Browns and Ikea had that option. I tagged along and when we got there, I saw the glorious sign reading "Start with a hearty cooked breakfast. Set 6 item cooked breakfast: Ikea Family price 99p. Ordinary Price £1.75" with a picture of a lovely looking meal fit for yours truly. Since our Ikea Family card wouldn't work that day, I had to settle for the ordinary price. However, a 6 item Full English Breakfast consisting of Sausage, Bacon, Beans, Scrambled Eggs and 2 Hash Browns with a glass of fizzy Apple Juice for just over £2 is pretty awesome.
In the end, I was only able to take down about 4 plates of breakfast and a Vanilla milkshake for 90p. Bottom line is Ikea has great value on these items. They also sold Hot Dogs for 50p but I chose to have another plate of breakfast instead. After my mum & nan left me to my own devices with a series of cracking meals, I made my way into the furniture section of the store. Most department stores will have showrooms or dedicated areas to different items. Ikea is different. Ikea is like a museum or gallery with a set path to walk around. You start off in the sofa section and, if you follow the arrows on the ground, enter the Kid Bedroom section and so on. Like a theme park, each area had a different feel. From Kid Bedroom Zone to First Apartment Living Room Land. It's a cool experience if you're easily amused.

I made my way around the different areas, taking in the views of parents browsing, kids running around and random blokes on their own staring at beds. Once I'd finished that experience, I travelled to the next floor where all of the normal items were kept in a joint museum/warehouse storage facility. First came the walk-through exhibit of tat. Kooky lamps at £7.99, aprons at £5.99, everything at sale price. Good bargains for people who enjoy shopping, good entertainment for someone like me. Whilst walking through the different "lands", I noticed that the names of items weren't the same as other products as well. Oh no, Ikea's different in every sense!
It's like they've taken something that exists and then made it again in an unorthodox but great way. Ikea are a Swiss company, I believe, so things have Swiss names. They have sheets that are called Skubb and candles that are called...well, I can't remember the candle names. What I do remember is that everything sounded like it was named after a Pokemon. Morpig. Klamby. Tennenet. Seriously, if you're making a game with loads of identical critters yourself, get down to Ikea for inspiration on the names. Other than that, it's just a nice place to be. The atmosphere is friendly, the prices are great, the products are diverse and the customers are also kind of odd in their own way.
I remember seeing a fat woman wearing a T-Shirt that read something like "Little Miss Lazy". Good to see people able to joke about themselves...well, I assume that's the case. It's not like she had a shirt on referring to herself that read "Four Tits" but you get the picture. I enjoyed it at Ikea, possibly the first time I've gone to a massive shop and had a great time there. Where I live, nearly every other shop focuses on selling clothes. There are no record shops, no (more) milkshake shops, 1 DVD shop and about 15 clothes shops. They're building an extension to the shopping centre as well which, I can guarantee, will include at least 1 clothes shop.

Maybe that's why Ikea was so fun. Very little clothes on sale there, all beds and household items. Some useful, some utter wank, all different. Yes, there's a middle aged toss element to it all, what with people purchasing oven-mitt mitts called Skupfelsplorf and the like but it's worth going there at least once. Who knows, you may pick up a great deal. I'd like to remind readers that I do not, nor will I probably ever, work for Ikea in any way. I'm not being paid by Ikea, I'm not representing Ikea, I have no other connection but customer. I enjoyed my time there and I'm passing my thoughts onto you. Probably because I don't have an awful lot to do when I'm not working or gaming.
Kind of a poor reflection of my life if my idea of fun is heading down to Ikea. Oh well. Consider this a warm-up for an upcoming series of blog posts. I'm trying to write more rants/opinion pieces but I'm low on ideas. This was one of them and I have one more. I'll work on that later this week but, for now, that's me done. Either tomorrow or Wednesday, I'll look into getting a Doctor Who related post up. Tuesday has a GH related one. Be seeing you.

GH7:ROA DLC - October

2011-10-11T12:15:00.003+01:00

If you read (and gave a flying toss) about my blog post detailing a GH game that exists in my imagination then you may recall a line towards the end mentioning a DLC schedule for 2 years. Since the actual GH DLC turned into a monthly release of 10 songs due to lack of enough interest/profit, I've changed my DLC plans as well. Instead of 3 songs a week every week (which is more or less what RB is doing now), I'm doing 16 songs a month with 8 released every other week.
I'm also aware that this is an increase of monthly DLC by approximately 4 songs. This is closer to the RB level of DLC that used to come out whilst also sticking to the cheaper method of recent GH DLC. I also said that the first pack on the release date would be a GHWOR import pack. After that, DLC would be released on the 2nd week of October & then subsequently every other week after that. As for what the DLC would be like, I wouldn't just release random artist packs like previous DLC.
Keeping in line with the theme of the game, the DLC would be related to genres and bands throughout the decades of music. Whilst the first track pack in this post is an exception, the following packs will usually follow a formula of 4 different songs belonging to a certain genre and 4 songs from one band that also belongs to that genre. You'll see in the 2nd DLC pack for this month. Anyway, let's kick this off then!

OCTOBER WEEK 2
Rock 02 Pack

"All Day And All Of The Night" - The Kinks, 1964
Rock, Guitar Tier 5/10
"Little Green Bag" - George Baker Selection, 1969
Rock, Guitar Tier 1/10
"It's A Long Way There" - Little River Band, 1975
Rock, Guitar Tier 8/10
"Lady Writer" - Dire Straits, 1979
Rock, Guitar Tier 6/10
"Danger Zone" - Kenny Loggins, 1986
Rock, Guitar Tier 5/10
"Orange Crush" - R.E.M, 1988
Alternative, Guitar Tier 5/10
"Erotic Nightmares" - Steve Vai, 1990
Rock, Guitar Tier 9/10
"Long Way From Home" - Thunder, 1992
Hard Rock, Guitar Tier 6/10
"Godspeed" - Anberlin, 2006
Alternative, Guitar Tier 7/10
"High School Never Ends" - Bowling For Soup, 2006
Pop Rock, Guitar Tier 4/10

OCTOBER WEEK 4
Hair Metal 01 Pack

"Seventeen" - Winger, 1988
Hair Metal, Guitar Tier 9/10
"Don't Tell Me You Love Me" - Night Ranger, 1982
Hair Metal, Guitar Tier 8/10
"Freight Train" - Nitro, 1989
Hair Metal, Guitar Tier 10/10

Motley Crue Pack

"Live Wire" - Motley Crue, 1982
Hair Metal, Guitar Tier 6/10
"Kickstart My Heart" - Motley Crue, 1989
Hair Metal, Guitar Tier 6/10
"Home Sweet Home" - Motley Crue, 1985
Hair Metal, Guitar Tier 5/10

Right, now it's time to explain this lot. For the Rock pack, I just wanted to get 10 great songs that spread across the 5 decades to show how Rock has changed over the years. Each decade had 2 songs, one by a band already in GH and one new to the series. I'm aware there are more popular Rock songs out there but I'm happy with the ones I chose. Most of them are fun on guitar and the others are bound to be fun on other instruments.
The second pack for the month is a Hair Metal pack, followed by a Motley Crue pack released on the same day. Only 6 songs in total but that's because the previous month had 10. The Hair Metal pack is definitely for Guitar players. All 3 songs are a challenge on Guitar and "Freight Train" would be the first 10/10 song released as DLC. The Motley Crue pack is a bit easier on guitar but probably more challenging for Vocalists. Three awesome songs by a popular Hair Metal band. Sounds good for the first month after the release of the game*. Chances are it'd sell pretty well, too.
If GH was still going, I know we'd never see this pack because ATVI seem to think nobody wants 80s Metal. In a recent interview, I think Kotick said something almost exactly along the lines of "we learnt from market research that people don't want more 80s Metal". Uhhh, when the fuck did this market research take place? Was it actual primary market research involving surveys with DLC buyers across a variety of age groups, genders and other specifications or was it secondary market research involving briefly skimming through the forums until you found enough 12 year olds spamming "WANT MOAR LINKIN PARK!!!!!!!!!!" to justify releasing it as DLC?

My theory is 80s Metal is more expensive to license than modern Metal, hence the lack of it over the last few months of GH DLC. Saying "nobody wants it" is neither accurate or excusable. Remember when HMX announced a Poison 3-pack? They confirmed it with a forum post with the words (again, slightly paraphrasing but it was damn close to this) "we know you've been asking for more Hair Metal". Oh, that's funny. I thought nobody wanted 80s Metal in rhythm gaming.
Wait, you meant normal 80s Metal?! Yeah, you're probably right. And HMX probably didn't release an 8-pack of Ozzy Osbourne songs that the fans loved. And Ozzy Osbourne isn't a perfect example of 80s Metal that people have been asking for more of in GH for years. I can understand if they want to save money but if that's the case, just tell the truth. Don't pretend that we don't exist. It'd surely be easier to respond with "You want music that's more expensive to license? Maybe you should ACTUALLY BUY IT THEN!"
It's not having a pop at the fans, most of them just don't understand the necessary facts behind music licensing for these games, myself included. The same way somebody from ATVI or Neversoft replied to complaints about "2112" being 7 tracks in GHWOR instead of a single 20 minute song. Fans understood the situation and backed down. Anyway, rant over. Next month I'll be doing the DLC schedule for November but between now & then, I've got a Doctor Who related blog post planned. Not sure when I'll do that but definitely this month. Be seeing you.

* I know this isn't real, I'm just trying to sell this as if it were real. Plus, in my head, it's real.

October

2011-10-05T23:56:00.007+01:00

4 days late. Not as bad as last month and I have been focusing on a few other things like writing and work (have I mentioned work? This feels like the first time, I definitely haven't been tweeting a load of self-inflated crap about having a job, right?!*). Now's the time for me to sit down and write a brief blog post about what my September was like. Ready? Here goes.

...

*cough*

...

Yeah, that's pretty much that. I didn't do anything that'd interest you and everything I'm about to talk about will do nothing but use up a few minutes of your life reading it. My car had an MOT service and my sunroof is buggered. Also too expensive to repair, so one of the best things about my car is now fucked. Shame, it really came in handy. A lot easier to use than the roll-up windows. Clock is also knackered, so I have to use my watch whilst driving which means I can only check the time if I'm doing a hard steer to the left. As you can tell, it's hard being me. Not as hard as being a 16 year old American girl though, I hear they have it tougher than starving Ethiopians.
At least the iPod cable works and my iPod stand hasn't broken yet. Still sucks that I can't get the random picture of an Asian woman from behind a plastic case out without fear of snapping the stand in two like an enraged cartoon supervillain. Can't even begin to imagine what the MOT bloke thought of me when he saw that. The other addition my car has is an official Iron Maiden tax disc holder, not just a regular holder that I wrote "IRON MAIDEN ROOLZ!!!" on. Proper merch for the fan who wants to spend money on band products but can't fit into any of the clothes available from the website.
I was toying with the idea of getting a logo or design painted on the hood when I have a shitload of cash as a result of selling my toes to science/Morrisons Deli counter or something. I mentioned the name "Metallicar" on Twitter but a) my car is nowhere near as awesome as the Metallicar from 'Supernatural' and b) I thought of a better idea. You know how some 80s cars have an eagle or a falcon or some epic bird painted on the hood? Well, going with the whole Metal fan image, I think getting The Hellion from the Judas Priest album 'Screaming For Vengeance' on the hood might be as badass as I can get on a blue Rover.

Oh, also something to show I'm a fan of 'The Prisoner'. Maybe a small painting of the bubble sentry, also named Rover, somewhere. These are just (expensive) ideas for now but who knows, maybe one day they'll actually happen. Not in the foreseeable future, though. Speaking of the future, I intend to do a few blog posts about GH DLC (see last post if you could give a single particle of shit about the series and what I'd do with it if I could) starting next Tuesday. I also plan on writing about my thoughts for the last Series of 'Doctor Who', so episodes "The Impossible Astronaut" to "The Wedding Of River Song".
Other than that, I doubt I'll be on here much. Same old song and dance from now on, but I'm always on Twitter. Until the above mentioned posts and the monthly summary in November, I'll be seeing you...shit, forgot Skype. I'm also on Skype. Same username, feel free to add me if you have the time. Yeah, sorry. Be seeing you.

* OK, I admit a large part of me feels smug about having a job, let alone one I'm not only great at but also very happy with. However, this is one of the few things I can be proud of as a teenager in worrying financial times. All these TV shows and news reports keep going on about how tough it is for teens to find work. Bollocks, I've had 3 jobs in the year I've been out of school. They're easy to find. Hard to keep but maybe that's just me.

Guitar Hero 7: Rock Of Ages (Take 2)

2011-09-28T10:26:00.007+01:00

OK, most of you may know that I've been working on this for around about 2 years now. I think I've put more thought into this than any other custom-made or genuine existing setlist/game idea that's out there. I've discussed it in great detail on this blog before but now it's time to put all the ideas into one place so you can get a full grasp of what I'd want to do with a Guitar Hero game if I was in charge of making one. First up, the name.
I'm sure there's a better name that could be given to the game...hell, 'Guitar Hero 7' would probably do but I felt giving it an additional title relevant to the game makes it sound more interesting. Obviously this title comes from having a game all about music through the last 5 decades. Now I've said this time and time again but if I'm putting everything in one place, I suppose I should say it here too.
The soundtrack is based on several things. Unlike previous GH/RB games, I didn't just pick a collection of songs I think are awesome. The soundtrack is primarily based on two things: Songs that are fun on Guitar (continuing on from GH:WOR) and songs that have their place in music history, whether it's because they're popular songs, by a popular band/artist or belong to a popular genre. However, some choices were made because they were good songs that are damn near entirely unknown by most people. This is to serve another purpose that rhythm music games have always been great at: introducing people to music they may end up loving.

So now the story. When I say story, I don't mean like PowerGig or GH:WOR. I mean like GH3 where the Career Mode had a few cutscenes between gigs just to tie things together. Something that isn't meant to be taken seriously and just makes the game a little bit more fun. Plus it just shows that a little bit more effort has gone into it.
To save a bit of time, I'll combine it with the listed soundtrack so you get a better idea of how the story progresses and how you unlock songs in the Career Mode, since they're all available in Quickplay+. Right then, this is the soundtrack ordered in Career Mode for Guitar. Same as before, I'll list them with Guitar Tier difficulty and apologies but I have no idea how to rate drums or vocals.
If you want the setlist in alphabetical order, here are links to the Grooveshark & Spotify playlists. Some of the tracks aren't available on Grooveshark or Spotify but together you should have them all. If you want the setlist in chronological order (...what? Some of you might), here's a Youtube playlist. Apologies if the videos/songs don't work. However, if you're really keen on listening to them then I'm sure you'll find a way.

The game begins with your band playing at a gig inducting them into the League Of Rock Gods (any names like this can be replaced with anything better you can come up with). They play a 4 song set & then the encore, just like old GH games. Each venue has a specific genre that...well, I'll explain in a bit.

1. ROCK GODS INDUCTION GIG
Stadium Of Rawk (Hard Rock)

"Short Skirt/Long Jacket" - Cake, 2001
Alternative, Guitar Tier 2/10
"Souljacker Pt 1" - Eels, 2001
Rock, Guitar Tier 2/10
"Grounds For Divorce" - Elbow, 2008
Alternative, Guitar Tier 2/10
"The Sound Of Settling" - Death Cab For Cutie, 2003
Indie, Guitar Tier 3/10
*ENCORE* - AXEL STEEL
"Apply Some Pressure" - Maximo Park, 2004
Indie, Guitar Tier 4/10

Now Encore songs are where Guitar Duels are introduced. Similar to Guitar Duels on DS games, the point is that you play the song and have to achieve specific goals in order to avoid failing the song. I know I've explained that poorly but trust me, this makes sense. When you reach a certain point, the game will have a little banner telling you to fill up a meter by whammying sustain notes. If you fill the meter before the end of the phrase, you pass the challenge. This means you either get an attack that's automatically used against your opponent or a shield that blocks the attack.
If you're both doing the same challenge, whoever gets the highest score or completes it first gets the attack. Now, unlike Guitar Battles from GH3, the attack isn't something like Amp Overload or Lefty Flip. The attack damages your Rock Meter so that you can't get over a certain point. So if you've been hit by several attacks, you can no longer get any higher than the Yellow area. The idea is to attack your opponent so many times that they end up in the Red area. Once they get so low that they fail, that's the Duel over.
If you win the duel before the song finishes, you'll just carry on playing the song as normal. As for who you duel against in the Career Mode, you duel against a GH character that represents the genre of the venue you're playing at. So for this one, you're against Axel Steel because it's Hard Rock. Once you beat him, he joins your band. Any problems with that? Feel free to ask questions or give feedback in the comment section but wait until you've read the whole post first.

Anyway, after playing that gig, The God Of Rock allows your band to ascend into Rock Paradise. However, Lou The Devil appears before you join the God Of Rock and sends your band back in time. Your band ends up in the 60s where they're playing a gig at a little club.

2. BACK TO THE 60S
The Alcove Club (Rock)

"Jumpin' Jack Flash" - The Rolling Stones - 1968
Rock, Guitar Tier 3/10
"Till The End Of The Day" - The Kinks, 1965
Rock, Guitar Tier 3/10
"Wipe Out" - The Surfaris, 1963
Rock, Guitar Tier 4/10
"Born To Be Wild" - Steppenwolf, 1968
Rock, Guitar Tier 3/10
*ENCORE* - EDDIE KNOX
"Somebody To Love" - Jefferson Airplane, 1967
Psychedelic Rock, Guitar Tier 5/10

So after completing that Rock Duel, your band starts to become popular again. This regained fame propels your band into the 80s, where they're playing at a high school dance.

3. ROCK THE 80S...AGAIN!
Einstein High School (Punk)

"Where Is My Mind???" - Pixies, 1988
Alternative, Guitar Tier 4/10
"Sometimes A Fantasy" - Billy Joel, 1980
Rock, Guitar Tier 5/10
"Staring At The Rude Boys" - The Ruts, 1980
Punk, Guitar Tier 4/10
"Copperhead Road" - Steve Earle, 1988
Country, Guitar Tier 4/10
*ENCORE* - JOHNNY NAPALM
"It's The End Of The World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine)" - R.E.M, 1987
Alternative, Guitar Tier 4/10

Same system, you beat the Rock Duel and travel forward in time to the 00s where you're playing as a Warm Up band for The Poseurs, the band that Lou The Devil is in charge of. Since you've been gone, they've reached extreme popularity and have mesmerised audiences all over the world with their dreary lyrics and mindlessly repetitive songs based on endless chord sequences. Obviously they're a parody of [INSERT BLAND MODERN ROCK BAND HERE].

4. CONQUER THE 00S
H20 Arena - Warm Up (Indie)

"Last Nite" - The Strokes, 2001
Indie, Guitar Tier 5/10
"The River" - Good Charlotte, 2007
Alternative, Guitar Tier 5/10
"Living In A Dream" - Finger Eleven, 2010
Hard Rock, Guitar Tier 4/10
"Time After Time" - Elliot Minor, 2008
Pop Rock, Guitar Tier 5/10
*ENCORE* - THE POSEURS
"Warriors Of Time" - Black Tide, 2008
Metal, Guitar Tier 9/10

Yep. A 9/10 tier song right in the middle of a 4-5/10 venue. This is a deliberate curve-ball thrown at the player. I picked a song with an insanely difficult solo that will subsequently be matched with a hard Rock Duel challenge. Basically, I put that in so that the player is forced to lose. This isn't meant to be a prank, it's designed to make the rest of the story make sense. Once the player inevitably fails the song, a cutscene involving Lou warping the guitarist & vocalist into a dungeon takes place. This is all part of the game.

5. BATTLE WITH LOU
The Dungeon

"Tribute" - Tenacious D, 2001
Hard Rock, Guitar Tier 7/10

This is the first real Boss Battle of the game. Similar to the song's story about beating the Devil in a rock battle, you also play against Lou with harder challenges more specifically aimed at battling against each other. And yeah, the song as a fun mo-cap. In fact, every song has a mo-cap designed around bands from that genre, e.g. 60s songs will be played in a similar way to how The Beatles or The Yardbirds played, Metal songs will have headbanging and guitar tapping, etc. This is just a fun addition that, again, shows a bit of effort has been put into the game. Fun mo-caps will play in Career Mode & on Quickplay+ when you choose a certain venue for your song, regular mo-caps any other time.
So you beat Lou and find yourself back in the 00s. However, after joining up with your band, you end up in the 90s playing live on a music video channel. MOAR SETLISTS!

6. DOMINATE THE 90S
Live On RTV (Grunge)

"Surf Wax America" - Weezer, 1994
Alternative, Guitar Tier 3/10
"Flagpole Sitta" - Harvey Danger, 1997
Alternative, Guitar Tier 4/10
"Under The Bridge" - Red Hot Chili Peppers, 1991
Alternative, Guitar Tier 4/10
"Don't Look Back In Anger" - Oasis, 1996
Rock, Guitar Tier 5/10
*ENCORE* - CASEY LYNCH
"Alive" - Pearl Jam, 1991
Grunge, Guitar Tier 6/10

Another gig rocked, another rocker joining the band. At this point, I guess I should mention that I've included Rhythm & Lead guitar as two options for the game. This means that in Career Mode, the singer also plays guitar which affects the mo-cap. Guitarists or vocalists will probably mimic famous rock stars like Kurt Cobain or Hendrix in some of the songs, doing famous rock star poses or moves on stage.
Anyway, this time the band is sent to the 70s where they're being filmed for a music project at a military base...yeah.

7. RULE THE 70S
The Old Grey Missile Test (Classic Rock)

"The Chain" - Fleetwood Mac, 1977
Classic Rock, Guitar Tier 4/10
"Milk And Alcohol" - Dr. Feelgood, 1979
Rock, Guitar Tier 4/10
"The Jean Genie" - David Bowie, 1972
Glam Rock, Guitar Tier 5/10
"(Don't Fear) The Reaper" - Blue Oyster Cult, 1976
Classic Rock, Guitar Tier 5/10
*ENCORE* - AUSTIN TEJAS
"Jeepster" - T. Rex, 1971
Glam Rock, Guitar Tier 6/10

After beating the Rock Duel, the game changes slightly. You've already played all of the decades once...but you're still not powerful enough to take on Lou and his band again. Now you have to go to the different genres again, with your added band mates, and rock the different venues by choosing 4 of the available songs and 5 of the available challenges, e.g. whammying notes, Star Power score, note streak, etc. You do this for all 5 of the decades listed below but when you've played 4 songs, you play a Rock Duel similar to the one with Lou in The Dungeon against a new character.

8. THE ROAD TO ROCK RECOVERY (60S)
RockStock (Psychedelic Rock)

"Over Under Sideways Down" - The Yardbirds, 1966
Psychedelic Rock, Guitar Tier 4/10
"Louie Louie" - The Kingsmen, 1963
Rock, Guitar Tier 5/10
"Nobody But Me" - The Human Beinz, 1967
Rock, Guitar Tier 5/10
"China Cat Sunflower" - Grateful Dead, 1969
Psychedelic Rock, Guitar Tier 6/10
"Race With The Devil" - The Gun, 1968
Psychedelic Rock, Guitar Tier 6/10
"Whipping Post" - The Allman Brothers Band, 1969
Southern Rock, Guitar Tier 6/10
*ENCORE* - MAGIC ALISTAIR
"Eight Miles High" - The Byrds, 1966
Psychedelic Rock, Guitar Tier 8/10

Magic Alistair is a new character based on the 60s Psychedelic Rock genre. He'll be a kind of wizard or something, I haven't really thought too much about that. What I do know is that when you're about to fight a Boss, an old rocker from GH games will join your band to help you out. In this case, it's Xavier Stone.

9. THE ROAD TO ROCK RECOVERY (80S)
Rych Manor Private-Party (Hair Metal)

"Another Nail In My Heart" - Squeeze, 1980
New Wave, Guitar Tier 5/10
"It's Electric" - Diamond Head, 1980
Metal, Guitar Tier 6/10
"Still Of The Night" - Whitesnake, 1987
Hard Rock, Guitar Tier 6/10
"Dr. Feelgood" - Motley Crue, 1989
Hair Metal, Guitar Tier 7/10
"Wanted Dead Or Alive" - Bon Jovi, 1987
Hair Metal, Guitar Tier 5/10
"Dude (Looks Like A Lady)" - Aerosmith, 1987
Hard Rock, Guitar Tier 6/10
"Go For Soda" - Kim Mitchell, 1984
Rock, Guitar Tier 6/10
"Hell Is For Children" - Pat Benatar, 1980
Hard Rock, Guitar Tier 7/10
"Lead A Double Life" - Loverboy, 1985
Rock, Guitar Tier 7/10
*ENCORE* - THE GRIM RIPPER
"Hallowed Be Thy Name" - Iron Maiden, 1982
Metal, Guitar Tier 9/10

Fairly basic 80s setlist here with a mix of Hair Metal, Rock, Metal, Hard Rock and a few other genres...OK, one other genre. When you battle The Grim Ripper, Izzy Sparks joins you.

10. THE ROAD TO ROCK RECOVERY (00S)
Millennium Blimp (Alternative)

"Hate To Say I Told You So" - The Hives, 2000
Rock, Guitar Tier 5/10
"Speaking In Tongues" - Eagles Of Death Metal, 2004
Rock, Guitar Tier 5/10
"Joker & The Thief" - Wolfmother, 2005
Hard Rock, Guitar Tier 6/10
"Long Road To Ruin" - Foo Fighters, 2007
Alternative, Guitar Tier 5/10
"The State Of Massachusetts" - Dropkick Murphys, 2007
Punk, Guitar Tier 6/10
"Live & Learn" - Crush 40, 2001
Hard Rock, Guitar Tier 6/10
"Blind Man" - Black Stone Cherry, 2008
Southern Rock, Guitar Tier 8/10
"New Born" - Muse, 2001
Alternative, Guitar Tier 7/10
*ENCORE* - GOD OF ROCK
"Children Of The Elder God" - Old Gods Of Asgard, 2010
Metal, Guitar Tier 8/10

I know it's unusual for the God Of Rock to fight you but whatever, it's a game. He's been possessed or it's a test to see if you're truly worthy to fight Lou or something along those lines. Oh yeah, and Judy Nails joins your band as well.

11. THE ROAD TO ROCK RECOVERY (70S)
Wizard's Lair (Prog Rock)

"Feel Like Makin' Love" - Bad Company, 1975
Classic Rock, Guitar Tier 6/10
"Another Girl, Another Planet" - The Only Ones, 1978
Punk, Guitar Tier, 6/10
"Foreplay/Long Time" - Boston, 1977
Classic Rock, Guitar Tier 6/10
"Wheel In The Sky" - Journey, 1978
Hard Rock, Guitar Tier 6/10
"Fox On The Run" - Sweet, 1974
Glam Rock, Guitar Tier 7/10
"There Goes Another Love Song" - Outlaws, 1975
Southern Rock, Guitar Tier 7/10
"News Of The World" - The Jam, 1978
Punk, Guitar Tier 7/10
"Catch Your Train" - Scorpions, 1976
Metal, Guitar Tier 7/10
"My Sharona" - The Knack, 1979
New Wave, Guitar Tier 7/10
"Highway Star" - Deep Purple, 1972
Hard Rock, Guitar Tier 8/10
"Icarus (Borne On Wings Of Steel)" - Kansas, 1975
Prog Rock, Guitar Tier 8/10
"The Rocker" - Thin Lizzy, 1973
Classic Rock, Guitar Tier 8/10
*ENCORE* - METALHEAD
"Rock And Roll Machine" - Triumph, 1977
Hard Rock, Guitar Tier 9/10

A huge amount of songs for one venue here. You only have to play 4 of them but, once you've finished the game, you can come back and play the rest with the challenges if you want. When you get to the Rock Duel, Clive Winston joins you. I know he's mostly Classic Rock but there's also a bit of Prog in him as well.

12. THE ROAD TO ROCK RECOVERY (90S)
CastleFest (Metal)

"Falling Away From Me" - KoRn, 1999
Metal, Guitar Tier 5/10
"Wake Up" - Rage Against The Machine, 1992
Metal, Guitar Tier 5/10
"All I Know" - Screaming Trees, 1996
Grunge, Guitar Tier 6/10
"The Kids Aren't Alright" - The Offspring, 1998
Punk, Guitar Tier 5/10
"Just" - Radiohead, 1995
Alternative, Guitar Tier 7/10
"Superunknown" - Soundgarden, 1994
Grunge, Guitar Tier 7/10
"Geek U.S.A." - The Smashing Pumpkins, 1993
Alternative, Guitar Tier 7/10
"Desert Rose" - Eric Johnson, 1990
Rock, Guitar Tier 8/10
*ENCORE* - FRANKENROCKER
"Feed My Frankenstein" - Alice Cooper, 1992
Metal, Guitar Tier 9/10

This is the last genre to feature the 4 song - 5 challenge method of playing. After beating the Rock Duel with Lars Umlaut helping you, you move onto the untouched period in time. The Future. In The Future, The Poseurs are multi-platinum artists and have been resurrected by Lou to play a special gig for the whole world. Also in The Future, music has become homogenized and the people have all been brainwashed by music talent shows and other wannabe pop stars. Yeah, there's a message here. What of it?
Either way, after playing all 5 songs (which you have to do), you fight against Lou as a gigantic Demon monster floating in the sky.

13. FUTURE SHOCK
Poseurs Platinum Album Gig

"Classical Gas (Live)" - Glen Campbell, 1977
Country, Guitar Tier 9/10
"Hocus Pocus" - Focus, 1971
Prog Rock, Guitar Tier 9/10
"Rock The Night" - Europe, 1985
Hair Metal, Guitar Tier 8/10
"The Extremist" - Joe Satriani, 1992
Rock, Guitar Tier 8/10
"Needled 24/7" - Children Of Bodom, 2003
Death Metal, Guitar Tier 9/10
*ENCORE* - MEGA-LOU
"As I Am" - Dream Theater, 2003
Prog Metal, Guitar Tier 10/10

After beating Lou, fixing The Future with the power of Rock and generally kicking ass, the God Of Rock allows you to ascend to Rock Paradise to play over the credits.

14. ROCK PARADISE
Great Gig In The Sky

"He-Man Woman Hater" - Extreme, 1990
Hair Metal, Guitar Tier 10/10

So that's that. The setlist and Career Mode...OR IS IT?!?! After playing every song and completing all the challenges, you unlock a bonus venue and challenge. You play these 4 songs in one continuous go (with the pause button disabled) against the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse.

15. EDGE OF FOREVER
The Final Encore

"Spirit In Black" - Slayer, 1990
Metal, Guitar Tier 9/10
"Tornado Of Souls" - Megadeth, 1990
Metal, Guitar Tier 9/10
"A.I.R." - Anthrax, 1985
Metal, Guitar Tier 9/10
"The Four Horsemen" - Metallica, 1983
Metal, Guitar Tier 9/10

And THAT'S the setlist and Career Mode story! Congratulations if you kept on reading, but this post isn't over yet. Nope, I've still got features and gameplay changes to discuss. If you want to take a break, now's a good time to do it. If you choose to come back, I thank you for your time. A detailed list of the gameplay features and innovations can be seen in this blog post but, for people who couldn't be arsed to check that out, here's a summary of what I'd be adding to the game along with the above.

Get rid of Quest Mode but keep Quickplay+ and Star Challenges, increasing 3 per instrument to 4 or 5.
On the Music Store, you can watch a 10-15 second preview of the chart for all songs on any instrument you choose.
Improved character & instrument creator.
Improved playlist/filtering options on Quickplay+, i.e. you can go through the entire soundtrack and number them 1-90 in any order.
Ability to calibrate lag & change Hyperspeed from the pause menu, although it'll have to restart the song you're playing.
When you post something on Facebook/Twitter, you can post a picture of your score as well as just a comment.
Add Rhythm & Lead Guitar whilst keeping 'Guitar' as an instrument, that way most songs have 3 different charts. This is so players who are bored of playing bass but aren't good enough to play some songs on guitar have another stepping stone.
The Jukebox. This is a dropdown menu that has the entire soundtrack of the game. Instead of the 6 songs that normally play on menus, you can order around and listen to every song in the game whenever you're doing something such as Character Creation or Concept Art.
Genre alteration. On Quickplay+, you might not agree with the genres picked for certain songs so you have about 3-4 options of genres to pick from and assign to that song. If you want to add your own, you can but it'll appear differently to songs with programmed genres.
Rockipedia (or whatever you want to call it). A collection of facts about songs, bands, genres and all different forms of trivia relating to this game & the Guitar Hero series, ranging from bonus instruments to real life rock star stage moves. This is to educate people about Rock music whilst giving them something to read/look into when they're tired of playing. Again, this is where the Jukebox comes in handy.
GHTunes+. Instead of just being able to make MIDI songs with GH charts, you can alter existing charts for any on-disc song. You can't alter the sound of the song, so whammying or missed note sound effects won't occur, but you can completely edit the chart to your taste and save it as a new song to play in Quickplay+.
8-Track Mode. The biggie. Plug in your guitar/bass with the USB tech 'Rocksmith' uses and record actual music. You can edit it, mix it, save it and chart it to play in GH. Not sure about sharing it, as there are probably copyright issues, but if they can share songs with GHTunes, I reckon they should be able to share actual songs people have created. After all, it's not like they're making a profit from sharing material that may not be theirs over GH.

Right, I think that's it. My idea for a Guitar Hero game that's taken me about 2 years to fully (you know what I mean) sort out in my head. The last thing to mention is DLC. I'm currently sorting out a fake DLC schedule for 2 years (with a band centric game released in between) and I'll post details on those every month. If this were real, the first DLC pack would probably be a GH:WOR Import on the release date. As for the first official track pack, that'll come out in the first week of October as will the blog post about it.
Like I said earlier, if you have any feedback or questions then go for it using the comment section. By 'feedback', I mean constructive feedback. If you have a problem with the game, I'll take it into account but it has to be more than just your personal response to the soundtrack. For example, if you think I picked the wrong Aerosmith song just because they've done songs you'd rather play in GH, that isn't good feedback. It's only good feedback if loads of people say the same thing.
Well it's been a long post but it's finally over. I guess that's me done for the month so I'll be seeing you in October.

September

2011-09-11T21:53:00.003+01:00

11 days. 11 days into September and I decide to do a blog post about things going on in September. The reason I chose today is that today is the day I started my blog 3 years ago. It was pointless then and it's gone full circle to become pointless now, often stopping off at being pointless at random months in between when all I was doing was the occasional rant and/or boring record post to kill time I had too much of. Now, of course, I'm out of school and working so most of my time is filled up with...actually, nope. Still Guitar Hero and watching TV. Not complaining though, not in the slightest.

Instead of talking about things happening this month, I figure I could share a few details about things that happened last month. See, that's an improvement and it only took me 3 years to figure it out! Last month I did see 'Horrible Bosses' and 'Cowboys And Aliens'. Both are great films for different reasons but I enjoyed 'Horrible Bosses' a Hell of a lot more. It's a hilarious film and a great comedy I could happily sit through again and again and again. If it doesn't win Comedy Of The Year at whatever bullshit awards show does this kind of self indulgent pap...I still won't care...unless 'Bridesmaids' wins, then I might blow a ball open.
In the end, I didn't make the Epic Meal with friends. We talked about it, I drew up a plan, I gave it a name, we planned a date and then they bailed. Luckily I only bought a few of the ingredients so they didn't spend any money, which is good. They also got to use the time painting Warhammer instead whereas I had to cancel plans I originally had for the day because I assumed they actually had an interest in something I wanted to do as a group. Should've seen the bail coming, since it's not the first time. I'm still kicking myself for the money I wasted on WoW related products, not to mention the hours I've put into training Pokemon on my old Red cartridge with the idea of playing with them after lengthy conversations about this very fucking subject. Silly me.
I'm not angry at them. Different friends pulled this shit with me so it's mostly my fault for not learning anything about trusting people. I'm just a tad frustrated they didn't tell me "No, we don't really want to do this as much as you" when I asked them if they were 100% sure they were up for it. I could understand if they didn't want to go ahead with it. I would've accepted their decision and moved on, that would've been it. What I don't like is when somebody says, "Yeah, we'll do it" and can't keep their own affairs together, pissing all over the plans and leaving me (it's usually me) with egg on my face...or a ton of Hash Browns in my freezer.

I shouldn't blame them for not telling the truth. After all, I haven't told them how I feel about the whole thing. I'm kind of banking on them reading this (since they're the only people who read my blog) because I don't have the nads to say it all to their faces. At the same time, if they are reading this, I don't want you to say "Oh OK, let's do the meal then" just because of what I've said. If you don't want to do it, we won't do it. Simple as that. If you really do want to do it and are committed to making a great meal, not a half arsed abomination we'll end up binning, then we'll give it a shot.
So feel free to get in touch...or don't, I'm not sure I care anymore. Who knows, maybe they've forgotten me because I was a bit of a cunt and I'm just talking to myself. ... Moving on! Other than work, playing GH and seeing Iron Maiden, that's everything worth talking about in August. I'll talk about my September within the first couple of weeks of October but before that date, I plan on making a few posts this month. Posts to do with Guitar Hero that I'll be making at the end of September.
Right then, that's it. Feel free to resume not giving a shit and I'll go back to staring at my phone placed delicately on a noisy surface so that when it vibrates I'll hear it straight away and will be able to quickly react to contact anybody tries to make with me. Be seeing you.

P.S. Once again, I'm not annoyed about the meal thing. I AM, however, irritated about WoW and Pokemon. So just in case this thought has entered your heads and you're considering asking me the next time we get in touch, no I will not spend any money or time buying, painting and customising little fucking Warhammer statues with you.

August

2011-08-04T22:13:00.003+01:00

I meant to do this on the 1st but I kind of had plans. After doing said plans, I wasn't really in a mood to type up a blog post so I'll try and get this out of the way now. Anyway, AUGUST! It's hot, the schools have broken up and we've a month to go before TV shows in America are back on our screens (TV in the US, computer in the UK). Mind you, there are some TV shows starting in the UK. Part 2 of 'Doctor Who' Series 6 should be on the telly by the end of the month, although I've got a ticket to go and see the first episode ("Let's Kill Hitler") on the 15th in London at a special screening. Yes, I am bragging because I'm really excited to see it. But that's not all I'm doing, oh no.

Tomorrow, I'm going to London to an Iron Maiden gig and (hopefully) I'll be making my most Epic Meal to date with my friends towards the end of the month. I've also got about 8 days work which is good but other than that, I think I have a pretty free schedule. Know what that means? Sod all! I'm not blogging as often these days and I'm not doing anything so this means precisely jack shit to you unless you follow me on Twitter. I'm doing most of my socialisation on that now so if you miss my opinionated rants and crap like that, Twitter is where it's all happening. I tend to discuss my opinions on films there too.
Speaking of films, I'm hoping I can see "Cowboys and Aliens" and "Horrible Bosses" at some point so I may talk about those two on this blog, though I'm not promising anything. Well, that's it really. Like I said in the last paragraph, I'm doing everything via Twitter now although I may pop onto the blog every now and then. Who knows, maybe I'll have a cracking experience at the Iron Maiden gig and I'll be able to tell a good story about the whole event. Or maybe it'll just be awesome without any anecdotes or humorous encounters and it won't mean a thing to any of you. Who cares, I'M GOING TO SEE IRON MAIDEN AGAIN!!!
If I don't blog again, I suppose I'll be seeing you in September...or never.

Mr. Popper's Penguins: My Thoughts

2011-07-24T14:32:00.004+01:00

It wasn't too long ago that I went to see "Bridesmaids" with my friends. We had a brief talk about the film afterwards but in that talk, the movie "Mr. Popper's Penguins" cropped up. My friends agreed that it looked awful and, to an extent, I agreed with them. A film about Jim Carrey with a load of penguins didn't exactly have the same appeal as "X-Men: Origins". Hell, if it was anything other than penguins then I wouldn't give a crap about it...however, that's not the case. It is about penguins and that means I had to go and see it. Don't ask why, just know that I had to see the film. And now that I'm back home, I'm actually glad I saw it.

Criticisms out of the way first, it's not exactly complex viewing. You'd get a deeper experience reading the ingredients on the back of a packet of Super Noodles. The story alone follows a formula with previous Jim Carrey movies. Jim Carrey is a successful businessman who can talk his way into and out of any situation. Unfortunately, his wife has divorced him and his kids don't respect him any more. Before Jim loses them forever, XYZ happens and he learns a valuable lesson that'll help fix his life, [in Peter Griffin's voice] WITH HILARIOUS CONSEQUENCES!!!
In this case, XYZ is the death of his father, an explorer who leaves Jim a pet Gentoo penguin in his inheritance. When he tries to return it, there's an error in communication and he receives 5 more. After realising that he can use the penguins to get his kids to love him again (yeah), he starts to grow attached to them and gradually turns into a father figure for them, as they follow him everywhere he goes and cause plenty of mischief along the way. I'm talking about the penguins, not the kids. There's conflict in the story as well but I reckon me telling you what the conflict is will spoil the film for you, since you'll probably have an accurate guess as to how it will end if I gave the slightest plot point away.
There are also quite a lot of fart and poop jokes with the penguins. It had the children in the cinema laughing their arses off (not sure if this is an appropriate statement or not considering the reason they're laughing) but adults or teenagers who aren't a fan of toilet humour will get tired of it pretty damn quickly. That being said, each penguin has a name and a distinct personality. One of the penguins is named 'Stinky' and, yep you guessed it, farts more than any other penguin, although this actually plays into the story a few times so it's more tolerable than a bird or black guy in a fat suit that farts for nothing but cheap giggles.

These are simple complaints about the film but my biggest one is down to the film studio. It's a winter film. It's a family film with Jim Carrey and a load of penguins, it takes place at Christmas (I think), most of the outdoor scenes are in places with snow, ice, fairy lights and tinsel draped over trees. It even felt like a film you'd take kids to see in December...so why in the name of Christ was it released in the middle of fucking summer? This is the time for action or sci-fi films like "Transformers: Dark Of The Moon", "Captain America: The First Avenger" and other blockbusters. "Mr. Popper's Penguins", if you couldn't guess from the name, is 100% family material and not in the same way "Ghost Town" with Ricky Gervais was. You could get away with that in summer.
This, on the other hand, just feels bizarre. Like I said, I'm not blaming the writers or Jim Carrey's acting forcing the film studio execs to say, "Oh wow, he's so funny we should release this 4 months early!". I'm not entirely sure who is to blame or why they decided to release this film at such an unusual time. If there is a reason, I'd like to know what it is but if you do go and see this film, try not to let it affect your judgement. Believe it or not, it is actually quite good. I'm aware I may be biased due to the fact that penguins are my favourite animal but in fairness, if you're not a fan of penguins, not a parent or not under the age of 10 then you're not the target market for this film.
The penguin scenes are adorable and even though they're mostly CGI, it's beyond the passable quality of computer animation. Besides, you'd never get a real penguin to recreate a fraction of the crazy antics they get up to. So if you're tempted to see the film just to watch an hour and a half of penguins running around, making cute noises and doing...penguiny things, you'll certainly get your fill in under that amount of time. You kind of have to really, since about two fifths of it is Jim Carrey talking to his family or bosses at work without his feathery friends. Whilst I'm on the subject, Carrey is perfect for the role of Mr. Popper. As we established, the film is pretty much ideal for his range of performance although from what I've read, he wasn't the first choice.

Apparently other actors in line to play Mr. Popper were Ben Stiller (first choice but he dropped out), Owen Wilson and Jack Black. First of all, I'm very glad Jack Black didn't get the job. Not that I've gone off Jack Black but he really needs an awesome film to act in after some of the recent jobs he's taken. I'm hoping he'll go back to films aimed at teens and adults after the 3rd Tenacious D album. But more importantly, Carrey is the best choice. Ben Stiller would've worked as well, since his films tend to follow a similar structure, but I think we can all agree that Carrey is able to bring a special persona to his characters that no other actor has been able to replicate to a greater or equal extent...no American film actor, anyway.
The other cast members are great as well but when the film poster is Jim Carrey's face surrounded by a load of penguins that reads "Jim Carrey in MR. POPPER'S PENGUINS", you shouldn't expect another performance to even come close to his, especially when the closest antagonist the movie has isn't in it for more than a quarter of the film. I guess what I'm trying to say about the whole thing is that it's not horrendous and, thankfully, it isn't in fucking 3D. You may not like it as much as I did but if you like penguins or Jim Carrey, you should enjoy the film. If you don't, stay away from it. I'm not making promises along the lines of "you'll be surprised how much it works" or "it's a film for everyone".
There's a very clear audience the film is playing to. Children who still have their innocence and parents who want to turn off and stare at a screen displaying Jim Carrey dancing around with farting, squawking, sliding penguins for 90 minutes. Maybe if your taste in cinema has been turned on its head (like mine*), you'll enjoy it. MAYBE. Otherwise, I'd wait until the latest Pixar film if you want a family movie that has jokes for adults and scenes that make your eyes start to leak...not "Cars 2", the next one. Just pray you don't get a screen with parents who thought it'd be a smart idea to take toddlers and babies to see a film. Seriously parents that were in Guildford today, they start wailing and crying if they see an advert they don't like, why the shit did you think they'd react well to loud, howling penguins in a dark room?

* Fuck you, "In Bruges".

Top 10 Creatures in "Supernatural", Season 6

2011-07-18T15:16:00.004+01:00

Even though this is a Top 10 post, I'd like to talk about "Supernatural" Season 6 for a couple of paragraphs before getting to the list. Not because I hated it and want to rant about it like I did with "Bridesmaids" but rather just to...I dunno, talk about it. I'm a big fan of the show and to say it's been influential in the development of something I want to put on TV is a massive understatement so I feel I should actually talk about it once every now and then. However, if you want to know more about the actual setup of the show, this post isn't the place to educate yourself. This is just about Season 6 and my thoughts about where Season 7 could go...and yes, my 10 favourite creatures. Spoilers follow.

Season 6 picks up a year after Season 5, Dean is living with Lisa and her son, Ben. He's managed to get out of being a hunter and he seems happy for the first time in the last 6 years. Meanwhile, Sam is actually out of Lucifer's Cage and he's been hunting with Bobby and his resurrected grandad, Samuel, for the last year without Dean knowing. Eventually Dean is brought back into the world of hunting with Sam and, throughout the Season, they have to deal with Crowley's plan with souls, the opening of Purgatory, the Mother of all Monsters and getting Sam's tormented soul back. It's all very watchable but the real point of interest is behind the camera with the Supernatural crew.
Some viewers may not have been aware that Eric Kripke, the original showrunner and creator, only had main control over Seasons 1 to 5. He had a 5 year story arc that ended with Dean going back to Lisa. It was only when the show was brought back for Season 6 that they had to find a way of expanding it with a new story. What's more, Kripke stepped down and Sera Gamble, a producer and writer for the show, took over. Much like the way "Doctor Who" noticeably changed with the transition from RTD to Moffat, the first half of Supernatural certainly felt different. Of course it's hard to follow a show that previously dealt with the apocalypse and Lucifer so I'm not saying the quality of episodes took a huge dip but...well, Supernatural was starting to get a tad too experimental.
The Kripke years gave us odd episodes involving a 'Groundhog Day' parody, a meta subplot involving the Winchester's lives being told through novels and a town where wishes come true but all of those felt natural within the show. Flashforward to 2010-2011 where there are episodes involving fairies, dragons and a pretty weak 'Twilight' pastiche/borderline homage and it wouldn't be surprising if you started to question where the show took a wrong turn. Episode plots started to feel lazy and random monsters were scraped from the bottom of the barrel just to advance the story. For example, Dean needed to know Sam was lying and hiding something from him. Solution? An ancient God that makes people tell the truth, leading to people either killing themselves or getting killed.

I suppose one could argue that this was a result of lesser known monsters emerging as part of Earth, post-averted apocalypse, but my point is Supernatural felt smarter and generally better than the first half of Season 6. OK, we had some great episodes such as "Weekend At Bobby's" and "Appointment In Samarra" but, ironically, it was only when Sam got his soul back that the very soul of the show returned...boy, I bet that comparison has been made 100 times before. We had entertaining filler episodes that went back to the B-Movie Horror Flick feel of Supernatural Season 1 such as "Mannequin 3: The Reckoning" and meta heavy Ben Edlund masterpieces such as "The French Mistake" where the Fourth Wall isn't so much as broken but rather completely obliterated, leaving us to question how the show will top the latest effort without having the actual cast literally turn up in your own house.
Even the homage episodes were better. "And Then There Were None" was about as close to classic monster movie 'The Thing' without being too obvious as it could be, which obviously trumps anything to do with vampires, let alone ones that sparkle. As the show progressed, the quality of episodes only increased without making the same mistakes earlier ones did when they became kind of ridiculous. Even though "Frontierland" had a Phoenix as the main monster, the plot involving the brothers travelling back in time to the Old West was enough to make it work. As an added cherry on top, the subplot involving Dean, Lisa and Ben was concluded and (hopefully) won't be returning. I think we can all agree that Dean is better when he's cracking out music references and killing demons than moping about his family.
The last episode left us hanging on the idea of a new villain more powerful than Azazel, Lilith or Lucifer. It also saw the wall in Sam's head coming down, leaving him weak but not broken...yet. In terms of where Season 7 could go, I'd say the road has many different directions. The Mother is dead, Castiel has become a God twisted by his own power, Raphael is dead, Crowley has vanished* and the brothers (and Bobby) are up the creek without a paddle. Just so long as they don't make Greek Mythology a main theme, I nearly shat bricks when those warning signs came up throughout Season 6. Anyway, those are my thoughts for Season 6. It started off pretty damn shaky but fixed itself halfway through. If the last few episodes of Season 6 are anything to go by, Season 7 will be a real treat.

Anyway, Top 10 Creatures in Season 6. Similar to other blog posts, I'm judging these based on their personality, their strength and...well, I'll explain my choices for each of them. Here we go:

10. Alpha Vampire (Episode 7, "Family Matters")
I don't like vampires in 'Supernatural'. Vampire episodes are usually pretty dull, the exception being the one where the vampire hunter is turned into a vampire. Even the 'Twilight' parody was pretty naff. However, with the story about Alpha monsters, we were treated to one good vampire. The very first vampire. He's not the main monster for the episode but after he's captured and tortured, he shows us that he's stronger than any blood sucking douche the brothers have dealt with before. It's also a great moment when you can tell he's about to escape, building up the tension until he finally breaks free and starts to get revenge.

9. Castiel (Episode 22, "The Man Who Knew Too Much")
I know this contradicts one of my rules since I'm sure Cas has been on a list before (creatures can't be on the list more than once unless they're different to their previous appearance) but this time, he is different. Before, he was an angel who resurrected Dean and nearly killed him again when he tried to communicate with him. Now, he's working with Crowley to find Purgatory in order to win a war in heaven. However, in the final episode, he manages to absorb all of the souls in Purgatory and becomes as powerful as a God. He kills Raphael and threatens to do the same to the Winchester brothers if they don't worship him. Since he only appeared as a potential villain in the last 5 minutes, he only makes it to number 9 on the list. It also means he can't appear on the Season 7 monster list...damn, I didn't think it through.

8. Arachne (Episode 13, "Unforgiven")
One of the many Greek monsters that made an appearance. Similar to quite a few of the creatures in Season 6 that are portrayed as animals in myths, the writers decided to turn a monster that was originally more Spider than Human into a person with an altered appearance and certain abilities. It's on the list because a) It looks freaking creepy, b) It can infect other people like other scary monsters, c) It can't be killed by bullets or fire and d) It poses a threat for the future. I can't remember the exact quote but doesn't it claim there are Arachne all over America, ready to start infecting people everywhere? If that happens, fucking game over.

7. Jefferson Starships (Episode 19, "Mommy Dearest")
A brand new monster cooked up by Eve that Dean discovered and, therefore, got to name...hence the name. They're basically vampires crossed with wraiths but are also near undetectable. Eve's plan was to release them and turn the entire populace into them so that their souls would go to Purgatory instead of Heaven/Hell. The monsters are pretty good and certainly pose a threat but the reason they're at number 7 is because of the way they fit into the show despite not being an actual creature outside of the show's mythology. There's a great moment in the episode when some of them are leading the brothers into a police station but accidentally give themselves away, leading Sam to shout "Jefferson Starships!". Moments like that make Supernatural worth watching.

6. Eve (Episode 19, "Mommy Dearest")
One of the main antagonists throughout Season 6, Eve is the Mother of all Monsters. Writers claimed her name was meant to be a pun based on what she wants to achieve ("eve of monsters") but at the same time, also refers to Eve from Adam and Eve and how she was the first mother on Earth. As far as her actual character goes, she comes across as threatening and powerful but due to not being on screen for a lot of the time (Meg Masters has cropped up more times than Eve...and Meg's still alive!), a bit underwhelming. For someone who could have been so powerful, she's killed after 7 episodes of being introduced. Granted her death was awesome but maybe if she'd been introduced earlier on, she would've made it further in the list.

5. Atropos (Episode 17, "My Heart Will Go On")
An interesting idea for an episode and an enemy that not only kills people in great ways but is also so powerful, the brothers don't kill it. Basically, if you can't remember what happens, Balthazar changes history so the Titanic didn't sink, resulting in 50,000 more souls on the Earth. As a result, Fate/Atropos goes on a killing spree by setting up 'Final Destination' like scenarios for people who should be dead. She nearly kills the Winchesters twice but they're saved by...well, divine intervention. She also has a good scene with Castiel, explaining why she's so pissed off at him and the brothers for ruining her plan by stopping the apocalypse.

4. Raphael (Episode 20, "The Man Who Would Be King")
Raphael has been in the series for a while. He appeared in person in Season 5, appeared as a bright light in Season 4 and is actually mentioned by name in Season 2. However, even though he was a badass in Season 5, he's a full on antagonist this time. He wants to restart the apocalypse but Castiel obviously has objections, so he's trying to get enough angels on his side to take down Castiel. As a result, Castiel is trying to get souls so he can fight the Archangel. His power and cold but firm attitude throughout the series is what makes him such a great character, but it seems he was no match for a godlike Castiel.

3. Spirit - Mannequins (Episode 14, "Mannequin 3: The Reckoning")
As I said earlier, I enjoyed this episode because it was a simple Monster Of The Week deal with a vengeful spirit and a B Movie storyline, much like episodes way back in Seasons 1 and 2. It also gave the brothers trouble when they realised the remains were in an actual person, due to the spirit being an organ donor in life. A ghost possesses sex dolls and college lab models to kill the people she blames for her own death but, in trying to kill Dean, ends up killing her only friend from when she was alive. It's not a complex creature but it certainly does create memorable scenes. Plus, as Dean himself states, they are freaking creepy.

2. The Khan Worm (Episode 16, "And Then There Were None")
Another monster created by Eve after she got out of Purgatory. This one crawls into people and makes them want to kill others, named after a creature from 'Star Trek'. However, there's no way of knowing who has the worm inside of them so when the Winchesters, Bobby, Rufus and the Campbells are inside a warehouse together, they realise that one of them could very well be a killer. A simple creature but certainly a powerful one, this monster only had one purpose within the show but still, that's all it needed to make an impact.

1. Crowley (Episode 10, "Caged Heat")
When all's said and done, you have to admit that Crowley really brings it home as a Magnificent Bastard. Introduced in Season 5 as a facilitator to Sam and Dean, he's been promoted to the new King of Hell since Lucifer was locked back in his cage. As a result, he's more powerful...and yet, he still chooses to work with the Winchesters and Castiel. Crowley wants to open Purgatory to get the souls as well but in order to find the Alpha monsters who know where Purgatory is located, he resurrects Samuel and Sam to hunt the creatures down. Whenever Crowley is on screen, you know the scene is going to be good. His witty dialogue can match Dean's and his angry bursts remind you that he's not just any demon. He is the King of all Demons.

God, this blog post took me a long time to write. Well it's done now so I hope you enjoyed reading it. Be seeing you.

* I met Mark Sheppard at London Comic Con and after talking about 'Supernatural', he claimed that Sera told him "the question about what happened to that demon will be answered". Not a lot but having met Mark Sheppard and got an autograph from him, I would've been happy to hear him reveal that Sam and Dean will be back in Season 7.

Bridesmaids: My Thoughts

2011-07-09T21:03:00.008+01:00

Ever since I saw the first trailer for this film, I knew I'd hate it. I was so confident I wouldn't enjoy it that I told my friends they could punch me in the face if I came out of the cinema having had a positive experience when we went to see it. Granted there were moments of doubt when I actually thought, "Who knows, maybe I'll actually enjoy a chick flick with a load of annoying characters and fart jokes" (hence the reason I wanted to go and see it, I have been spectacularly wrong before) but in the end, I did hate it. A lot. I would rather sit through a filling operation on my teeth than this film again. But that doesn't make it a bad film.

Critics seem to love it and celebrities on Twitter have raved about it, though I think that's probably because they're friends with some of the actors in the film, and the general consensus seems to be that it's a chick flick that even guys will enjoy. I personally disagree and think that if you really liked the film then you either have a vagina or are a cunt but my point is that this blog post isn't a review or accurate analysis of the film. It's a step by step walkthrough of each scene from my memories and Wikipedia to help fill in forgotten details such as character names and the odd line of dialogue. Yes, I can remember dialogue based on Wikipedia text, don't you judge me!
Furthermore, I should warn you that this blog post WILL have spoilers. In case you missed this bit because you were skim-reading (I don't blame those that do. After all I don't half go on, don't I?), this blog post HAS SPOILERS. SPOILER WARNINGS. YOU'VE BEEN WARNED...ABOUT THE SPOILERS. So basically, if you want to see the film then go and see it first before proceeding. However, if you loved the film then I recommend you avoid this blog post as if it were Meatspin and Lemonparty combined.
Nothing's worse than reading a rant about something you enjoy written by someone you don't agree with talking as if their word is equal to or greater than that of the Lord. If you saw the film, hated it and want to read about a teenage boy doing his best to tear it to shreds (so nobody, then), it's time I cracked on.

'Bridesmaids' is a comedy about a group of female friends organising a wedding party and, subsequently, wedding. It's been compared to a girl-version of 'The Hangover' by people who haven't seen the film and idiots, more on that point later. The movie kicks off with Kristen Wiig's character, Annie, having sex with a bloke named Ted. We're treated to a few fun lines like "Cup my balls!" and a human version of the puppet sex scene from 'Team America: World Police'. After a bit of dialogue between Ted and Annie, Annie is asked to leave and accidentally gets stuck on an automated gate, a joke only women will find funny. Only women...or guys who want to screw the women they're sitting next to in the cinema.
We then get a scene between Annie and her friend, Lillian (played by the Y U No Guy). They talk and have fun and so far the film feels like 'Sex In The City' set in an alternate reality where there's no godawful muzak in the background. We get a glimpse into Annie's life and see it's all pretty dire. Her cake shop has closed down and she now works in a Jewellers, she lives in a flat with Matt Lucas and a fat woman, she wants to find a romantic partner that isn't a total tool like Ted and she's pretty low on cash. After a visit to her mother's house, Annie is told that she can't really get worse off because she's already hit Rock Bottom.
Sooner or later, a story actually appears and Lillian reveals that she's getting married to Wash from 'Firefly', having lost his ability to speak or do anything other than look like a shop window mannequin. Lillian asks Annie to be her maid of honor because they're best friends, something that delights and irritates Annie purely because she hasn't found a husband yet. At the engagement party, Lillian introduces Annie to her other friends/characters from the film. There's Rita, Becca, Megan and Helen although Rita and Becca are just extra characters thrown in for giggles, ironic since they're not fucking funny.

They don't have any amusing lines, their back stories don't go anywhere and they might as well be named Herpy and Derpy. It's not like I'll need to write their names again in this blog post summary. However, Megan is a crude, plump character who actually has some of the funniest moments in the film later on. Clearly meant to be the Zach Galifiasnickersbar of the film, her lines are more miss than hit but at least she has some hits, unlike anyone else in the movie. Meanwhile, Helen is the closest thing to an antagonist. She's a rich, classy, attractive friend of Lillian who is just as close to her as Annie and, as a result, creates tension for the main character. Her actions and engagement party speeches make Annie feel inadequate as a maid of honor so quite a few humorous situations in this film come from Annie wanting to one-up Helen despite failing 90% of the time.
Whilst driving back home, Annie accidentally attracts the attention of a police officer named Nathan, played by Chris O'Dowd. The moment you see his face on screen for the first time, you know he's going to be the romantic interest for Annie. This is further proved when he tears up her ticket because he remembers how much he liked her old cake shop. So we've got several plot lines going. One involving Annie's love life, one involving Lillian's wedding and one involving the friendship jealousy between Annie and Helen. After a tennis match that doesn't really go anywhere or have an amusing payoff, Annie takes the girls to a dodgy looking Brazilian restaurant where most of them feast on meat. Helen sticks to salad, being perfect and all. After this, they head to a bridal gown studio.
Considering the fart joke & build up to this scene were in pretty much every trailer for the film, it seems that this was the part the writers wanted to make the funniest. The one that has everyone in the cinema laughing and that probably made them laugh out loud when they put it to paper. It involves a group of women who have food poisoning throwing up on each other and shitting into a sink/their pants. I'm not saying it wasn't funny, since everyone in the cinema was laughing at it, but...seriously? That's the level?! I shouldn't really be complaining, since I found the 2 minutes of throwing up in that one 'Family Guy' episode a few years ago pretty funny. I suppose my only defence is that that was more of a surprise whilst, as I've already established, this film is more predictable than a Dreamworks picture. I can't remember who first said this but about 90% of comedy is surprising the audience.

Anyway, after the disaster at the bridal gown studio, Annie proposes a bachelorette party at a nice little lake house. However, when Helen proposes Las Vegas, her ideas are thrown out the window. We then get the second 'funny scene' on the plane flight over to Vegas. The one that involves Annie getting wasted on alcohol and sedatives, crashing the First Class area and causing the stir that ends up with them getting escorted off before they can land at Vegas. OK, I'm holding my hands up here. I thought there were elements of that that were kind of amusing. The build up and reveal of the air marshal made me smile. Not so much the moments where Megan wanted to have sex with him, more the ones where she's just talking to him. Simple without going into low-brow territory.
On a bus ride home, Lillian drops the bomb on Annie by telling her that Helen will be taking over the planning of the wedding and shower, since Annie had successfully given them both diarrhoea and a black mark against their names on the fly-list. This makes Annie unhappy but luckily, she has Nathan the cop to talk to. Their relationship becomes stronger, they fuck, he buys her a load of baking equipment and she gets pissed off because she doesn't want to bake even though she did earlier on in the film. Suddenly, everything in Annie's life turns to shit! She gets fired from her job for using the C word (one can relate), she's kicked out of the flat she's living in, she loses her status as best friend with Lillian and she has to move back in to her mum's house having hit the level below Rock Bottom.
Despite the fact that the protagonist falling to a new low and suffering a crisis of confidence has only happened in every film ever made, that's not really a valid reason to condemn this one. After all, it's a conflict in the plot. Every decent plot needs conflict and in the context of this story, there's not a lot the writers could've done without going batshit mental and introducing zombies or vampires halfway through like 'From Dusk Till Dawn'. Anyway, the day of the bridal shower approaches and Annie notices that it's based heavily on an idea she suggested to Helen and the other women, only for Helen to turn down and seemingly steal for herself. Whilst exchanging gifts, Helen once again trumps Annie by getting Lillian a trip to France (something Annie wanted to do with Lillian)...and that's when it all kicks off.

Annie has a breakdown, starts trashing everything (like you would at your best friend's bridal shower. That'll sure show the woman you're competing against!) and loses her best friend, the one thing she had left. We get another funny moment involving Megan and a load of dogs (the only time I laughed during the film...so yeah, it beats 'Meet The Spartans' at the very least), Annie crashes her car and Officer Nathan is there to help her pick up the pieces...or is he? He's still pissed off at her for essentially being a love tease. Is there a better word or term than that? Oh yes, a Bitch. Anyway, the film carries on chugging along at a fairly slow speed. We see Annie at home and surprise, surprise, Megan visits her.
Megan then gives Annie her epiphany to fix her life by telling her that she's not only her own problem but her own solution too. Maybe it's because I've been in a similar friend situation to Annie but I guess that was the one part of the film that I liked. I'm not talking about a decent visual gag, I'm talking about an actual scene or discussion within 'Bridesmaids' that didn't bore or anger me. In fact, it did the opposite. It was a nice moment where the comic relief character actually turned out to be the one with the most depth, unlike Herpy and Derpy who shared a random-ass lesbian kiss on the plane and then fucking vanished for the rest of the film. But yes, that's genuine praise from me about a diamond in a dog turd.
After having her life somewhat sorted out by Megan, Annie begins to fix things that she wasn't able to do before. She gets her car fixed, she helps her mum hook up (?), she tries to patch things up with Nathan but in the end, still has quite a lot of work to do. Eventually, the wedding day arrives but Lillian has gone missing. Helen asks Annie for help and tearfully apologises to her for outshining her on all the previous occasions. When they can't find Helen, Annie finds Nathan and tries to get his attention by driving dangerously next to his car. Could've been funny but I don't know, it didn't feel like they went far enough. No surprises or exaggerations means no laughs in a modern comedy...oh wait, that's just me.

Reluctantly, Nathan helps them and Annie is able to have a girl chat with Lillian about how her wedding has gone tits up. This is the moment where I knew it was definitely a film for girls. I have never known or dared to imagine a scenario where two men bond over how disastrous a wedding is going with tears and memories. For the most part, men don't really give a shit. The dress isn't perfect? Doesn't matter, you only use it once. The silverware isn't right for the reception? Who gives a toss? You're not marrying the fucking forks. All they care about are the words "I do" coming from the mouth of the bride...and maybe the ratio between clean and racist jokes in the Best Man's speech. That too.
Therefore, watching two women talk about a wedding that's out of control isn't relatable or entertaining for guys unless you care deeply about the characters in the film. I honestly couldn't give a rat's arse about Annie and Lillian because a) I know everything is going to turn out OK for them and b) They haven't come across as likable people. I could say the same about my life and interactions with friends. People would watch that and think, "Jesus, shut the fuck up!" unless they found a way of deeply relating to us, which brings me back to my original point. As a male with no interest in marriage, I couldn't relate to two women talking about a bad wedding. Fuck me, that took a long time to explain.
Where was I? Oh yeah, Annie talks Lillian into having her wedding and it's all very nice. Helen even got Lillian's favourite band to play. I can remember the moment when the band appeared and everyone in the audience shrieked as if it to say, "OH MY GOD, IT'S WILSON PHILLIPS! I CAN'T BELIEVE WILSON PHILLIPS ARE HERE!" Who the fuck are Wilson Phillips?! Their music sounded pretty damn mediocre and watching a group of women in bridal dresses dancing to bland Alt-Pop just moves me one step closer to alcoholism. But wait! There's more! Helen and Annie are able to patch things up and Nathan arrives to follow suit. Everything works out well as Annie is taken away by Nathan to presumably start a relationship. BOOM! Credits, more mediocre pop, no more reasons to stay. There's a bit after the credits involving Megan and the flight marshal but no, sod that. I'm done. I came, I saw, I want my fucking money back.

So what are my overall thoughts? For kickoff, this film is clearly a Romantic Comedy. Not a straightforward Comedy, a Romantic Fucking Comedy. Next to a Romantic Comedy, grossout or toilet humour comedies are beyond passable. It's more of a challenge to try and spit on your own foot than to guess how a Romantic Comedy will end. 9 times out of 10, the boy and girl on the front of the film posters will hook up. This is why I hate people who watch TV shows for the "Will They/Won't They" subplots. SPOILERS, they will! They always bloody will! But back to my closing rant and why I didn't like this film.
Believe it or not, I didn't hate 'Bridesmaids' because it was a girl comedy and I'm one of those guys who thinks women aren't funny. Far from it. There are a lot of female writers and actors who I would say are incredibly talented although none of them were working on this film. Honestly, I think this movie had a touch of the Avatar Effect. When everybody says, "OMG ITZ AMAZBALLS!!!!1!!!" and next to nobody has anything bad to say about it, it's a worse feeling of disappointment than if the critics had a 50/50 opinion of it. I didn't like the characters, I didn't like the majority of the jokes, I didn't like the romance subplot and I certainly don't like the fact that this film is a box office success because it means there's probably going to be a sequel that everyone won't shut up about.
Compare this to 'The Hangover' where the film had likable characters, a smart plot, hilarious jokes that are still funny the second time around and a song by Wolfmother. Of course I'm not the target audience for 'Bridesmaids' so I understand why people do like the film but if I'm being honest, this post is more of a Fuck You to all the male critics or men who said the film is for everybody. They're wrong. Very few films are for everybody and the people who tried to pass this off as an all round comedy when in reality it was nothing but a chick flick with balls have disappeared from my list of Opinions I Give A Shit About. Aaaaaaaand end rant!

July

2011-07-01T23:30:00.004+01:00

I guess I had good intentions but ended up missing the mark...quite a lot. I wanted to do blog posts about films I'd seen and "Supernatural" Season 6 but in the end, I only did one about ideas for a new Guitar Hero game beyond the soundtrack. So yeah, July. Freaking July. We've crossed the halfway line in 2011 and we've got a few things to look forward to. Metal fans in the UK will be checking out the Sonisphere Festival in a week and sci-fi fans will be checking out the London Comic Con (myself included, hopefully).

TV shows have pretty much finished but at least a few are still around like "Futurama" and...OK, that's it but at least that one show is awesome. Films are average as hell, despite the appeal of summer blockbusters. "Bad Teacher" looks fucking dreadful and "Transformers 3: Dark Of The Moon" could be crap or it could be surprisingly fun...my money is on the former. Video games are out of my interest for now, since the only game I want this year comes out in October. Like I said last month, I'm sure there are several great titles coming out but I personally don't care about them. Besides, only video games I'm playing at the moment are 'Guitar Hero: Warriors of Rock' and 'World Of Warcraft'.
I've applied for a few jobs and I'm waiting to hear back from employers but until then, I'm not doing an awful lot when really, if anything, I should be practising my writing to carry on building a style and whatnot. I mean, I use Twitter more than before but since I've stopped doing daily blog posts, that's not enough. I've been thinking about getting a Formspring account so people can ask me questions and I can try and give funny answers but I don't know if anyone would give a shit. Eh, I suppose I could always give it a try. Other than that, I don't have anything else to say about my life that you'd really care about.
As for this blog, I guess it's more of the same. 90% of the time, it'll be an empty site with reminders of good times I had and how much of a moron I was/am but I suppose there'll be a blog post every now and then. Maybe one about "Bridesmaids" and how much I hated it, which'll be good for a few laughs I suppose. I might try and catch up with that "Supernatural" thing and who knows, maybe I'll write a rant about something...or maybe I'll just carry on with my life and occasionally hang out with friends. If you have any suggestions for blog posts you want me to write, feel free to suggest them. Unlikely but I'm just throwing it out there. Be seeing you.

GH7 Ideas & Features

2011-06-20T17:03:00.004+01:00

I had planned on doing this in the form of several tweets but since they're often forgotten and lost in the pile of other tweets you make, I've decided to blog about the ideas so they can stay here for others & myself to look back on. I had a few ideas for features that could be included in future GH games. They're not perfect and since I haven't fully thought the big idea through, there's probably a massive flaw but hey, you can't get an omelet without breaking a few eggs. If my ideas need to be broken down into something more realistic before the right person thinks, "You know what? That actually sounds pretty good" and makes it happen, so be it.

First things first, the smaller ideas. The features that the GH game could have. If we use "Guitar Hero 7: Rock Of Ages" as a template, this is what we know about the game so far. It's a game designed to be about the progression of rock music from the 60s to now, with a soundtrack of 90 songs from 5 different decades (although ones from 2010-2011 are grouped with 2000-2009). The songs are in because they're a) Fun on guitar/bass. b) Well known tracks that people like or c) Part of music history in one way or another, whether it's a NWOBHM song responsible for inspiring artists that would go on to become part of the Big 4 of Thrash Metal or simply a track belonging to a genre that changed Rock from the 60s into Rock of the '10s.
I should just point out that the soundtrack has changed quite a lot since I did that blog post. I'm regularly updating and editing the setlist until I'm finally happy with it but instead of changing my Youtube playlist or the blog post, I do it via Spotify. You can see the working soundtrack here. This game would come after GHWOR, so what would I change and what would I keep the same? For starters, get rid of Quest Mode but keep Quickplay+ and Star Challenges. I don't play Multiplayer challenges because I don't have any friends who play as much as me so I don't know if they need changing. The same can be said for Wi-Fi features and the Character Creator, I guess. As described in the first link I posted, I'd include Rock Duels in the Career/Story Mode. Info can be found on that page, if you can be bothered to read it. I don't blame you if you're not.
One addition I'd want in the game would be Rhythm Guitar. This isn't meant to be a game changer, obviously, it's meant to be a way of allowing two people to play guitar without risk of failing the song due to a tricky solo. When I have played with friends, I notice that they often play the song perfectly well until a solo or difficult section on lead guitar. If the game had rhythm guitar, they can still play the awesome riff behind the song whilst the other person plays the solo. It's kind of like a bridge between bass and guitar. Also, maybe there's a song in the game that you prefer the rhythm guitar to over lead, so Single Players can choose whether they want Lead, Rhythm or just 'Guitar' in Quickplay+.

Another small feature that I talked about on Twitter was 'The Jukebox'. Apparently 'Rock Band 2' was going to have something like this but removed it from the game for some reason. Anyway, it's a simple idea. Instead of only being able to hear the 5 or 6 songs the developers have picked in Menus whilst looking at Concept Art or Character Creator, you can press a button to open a tab of the entire soundtrack. You can then choose which song you want to listen to without having to play it. It's similar to Party Play but instead of just leaving the game whilst the song plays, you can do other things whilst the track you like plays on.
'Jukebox' will be under the 'Extras' Menu where you can create playlists, filter songs and pop them into certain orders. Whilst I talk about filtering, here's another small feature (I'll get around to the big one eventually, just stick with me). On Quickplay+ in GHWOR (and Quickplay in GH5), I've often found that I disagree with the genre behind certain songs. I wouldn't call Weezer 'Pop Punk' and I certainly wouldn't call any song 'Modern Rock', which is kind of a given if it isn't Classic or Hard Rock. Anyone with a brain in their head can tell you that a song can have more than one genre. Some people might think a Hair Metal song is Hard Rock or that an Alternative song is also Indie, so this is where my idea comes in.
In Quickplay+, under song menus with Star Challenges and Playlist Controls, you can choose to assign a different genre to the tracks in the game. That way, if you want to create a Metal playlist but feel the songs selected as Metal aren't what you're after, you can call them 'Thrash Metal' or 'Death Metal' or whatever you want. Of course this means people could take the piss by calling Lynyrd Skynyrd 'Punk' or Coldplay 'Prog Metal' and then forget the genre the song originally belonged to but if the songs have a Default Genre or even Suggested Genres that the gamer can reset the track back to, that problem should be fixed.

Last small idea before the big one. Knowing this game is all about Rock through the ages and how it's changed, I feel the game should have a bit more info about Rock than random facts and trivia you'd find in the Song Facts or Lyrics modes from GH:M & GH:VH that I'd bring back (not sure why they were removed in the first place, if I'm honest). The same way you'd unlock Concept Art and Character Creation Outfits by playing songs well or completing gigs, etc, you unlock information about Bands, Songs, Genres, Guitar/Bass Playing or Vocal techniques, historical stages and gigs. Just info about Rock Music that can be accessed when you're done playing tunes and simply want to educate yourself about the songs you like whilst listening to them at the same time, thanks to 'The Jukebox' from earlier. Remember that? Yeah, OK.
It'd probably be called 'Rockipedia' or 'The Rawkives' or something that doesn't suck, I don't know. What I do know is that when people get bored of playing plastic guitar, some of them would be interested in reading about bands they like without turning the game off and going online. These are all things that people can do thanks to the Internet but by including them in the game, it makes things easier for the gamer...which is where my big idea comes in. I fear I may have hyped it up a little too much throughout this post but here goes anyway. 'Rock Band 3' and the upcoming 'Rocksmith' allow you to play songs on a real six string guitar...or six string guitar controller with RB3. That's all well and good but as far as I know (since I haven't played Pro Mode), they don't let you create new music with the Pro instruments.
GH:WT introduced the Music Studio and GHTunes, allowing you to create 3 minute songs to play on GH and even share with others over Wi-Fi. However, this was a bit iffy and as a result, not many people were overly excited about it. It's a shame because it was a great idea. Meanwhile, HMX were working on the Rock Band Network, a way of charting already existing songs to play on RB before sending them to HMX where a handful of them are released over the RBN Store every now and then. This is a great way for new bands to get out there and introduce their talent to thousands of music loving gamers without sucking serious amounts of Record Industry dick but I'm not sure you can create music on it, only chart songs that already exist.

If I'm wrong then obviously that shoots my idea down but my big feature for GH7:ROA is as follows. It's called '8-Track Mode' based on the 8-Track Player, a tool used by many bands before they became famous and had full-on digital recording studios. Basically, a band or artist would record themselves playing the drums to a song to start off with. Once they nail the take, they rewind the tape back and play guitar or bass to the already made drum track on it. This is how Dave Grohl started before Foo Fighters and as the notes in several Guitar Hero games state before you play a song, "You're not a real band unless you've used an 8-Track Player"...or something like that, I can't remember it word for word.
Anyway, '8-Track Mode' allows you to make your own music with real instruments and then, if you want, chart it to play on GH. However, instead of recording yourself playing guitar and drums and whatever, you'd actually have to play it in the game so that you couldn't just play a Led Zepp song over speakers and chart that. 'Rocksmith' announced that they've made a USB wire that you can plug a guitar into so that you can use a real guitar on their game. If GH made one of those or just advertised the 'Rocksmith' one, you could plug your guitar or bass into the game and make music. Drums would probably have to be played on the GH drumkit and vocals could be recorded over the mic.
I just want to stress that this game wouldn't teach you how to play the guitar. RB3 and Rocksmith already claim they can do that. This mode is for people who already can play guitar. People who own a guitar, know how to write music and want to record it. It's not the same as an 8-Track Player but it allows you to mix your own songs and, as an added bonus, play them on Guitar Hero. So that's my idea. The next step for GH. I'm well aware that that idea is in desperate need of reworking but, as I keep on saying, it's just an idea. It's my suggestion to ATVI that they're almost certainly not going to read. As for additional details, I'd say you can only record 10 minutes of music per song and you can record a total of 8 songs.

So let's sum this up. The following are the points I've made that would go into a GH game, if I was designing one:

90 songs
Rock Duels
Soundtrack theme - Rock from the 60s-'10s
Rhythm Guitar
The Jukebox
Genre Altering
Rock Information (Rockipedia/What Have You)
8-Track Mode

Quite a lot to fit into one game. That's one of many problems but that doesn't mean there aren't solutions. If you want to leave feedback with your ideas for future GH games or what you thought of my ideas/how you'd change them and such, do so in the comments section on this blog. That way, I can respond properly without being restricted to 140 characters. If you have any questions about the above, feel free to ask them as well.
I only ask that if you're going to criticise this post, make sure it's constructive criticism. Well that's that then. I hope you enjoyed reading this and I'll try and do some more blogs in the remaining week or so of this month. Be seeing you.

June

2011-06-01T23:01:00.003+01:00

Well fuck me, this place has been even more of a ghost site than usual. Before it was just me talking to myself and (occasionally) the few people who gave a toss about what I said. Now I've given up, this place must have literally no visitors at all. It's a shame because I used to kind of enjoy doing it and I have had things to blog about recently. However, I've also discovered 'World Of Warcraft' and my timing schedule for everything has kind of gone to shit as a result. I'll attempt to pull my finger out this month but, if my attempt is anything like my efforts in May, there's a good chance my finger will remain well and truly wedged.

Anyway, June! First month of summer, right? Damn. On the one hand, it's great for films because all of the kickass blockbusters are rolled out. Parents love it because they can sit outside, kids love it because the holidays are coming and I hate it because it's too fucking hot. At least friends have finished their Uni exams so I can hang out with them...you know, when I'm not playing WoW. TV shows have kind of slowed down now, since all the shows in the U.S have come to the end of the season. They'll be back in September but, for the time being, we have a few U.K shows that have started. "Primeval" Series 5 has started on Channel Watch and that'll start on ITV later this year. From the episodes I've seen (so both of them, then), it's a strong series. Stronger than Series 4 earlier this year.
"Doctor Who" has one more episode before taking a few months off and judging by the promo pics/trailers, it's gonna be a good 'un! In terms of comedy, Jack Dee's "Lead Balloon" has a fourth series that's only just started and if the remaining episodes are as hilarious as the first one then we're really in for a treat. As for video games, E3 is kicking off in America soon. We've already had promo vids for upcoming games like "Rocksmith" and "Batman: Arkham City" but I'm sure many more awesome demos and consoles will be revealed. The Guitar Hero Twitter account has hinted at something GH-related being at E3 although there's a good chance it'll be the crew from Video Games Live letting you play along to "The Pretender" - Foo Fighters with an orchestra on stage. Sounds pretty badass, if you ask me.
Finally, there's the poll. Not many votes but Stephen Fry has the winning voice. I can understand why people would want his voice, although not me personally. Now here's the thing. Since I'm not updating regularly and have no reason to show off my blog posts and, subsequently, my blog, I won't be doing a poll for June. I might do one for July if I think of a good poll but lately they've been kind of naff, hence the lack of votes. Gone the way of "Name That Tune" and the Tetris game at the bottom of the page, the poll is the latest addition to the 'Nothing But My Opinion' graveyard. That's not to say it won't come back, it's just kind of in a coma...but chances are it won't come back...so I buried it.

Posts (possibly) coming soon include a summary of a recent trip to the London Aquarium, my thoughts on the Top 10 monsters of 'Supernatural' Season 6 (along with a bit of blurb about my opinion on Season 6 as a whole) and perhaps a review or selection of posts about my thoughts on films such as 'X-Men: First Class', 'Kung-Fu Panda 2' and 'Cowboys & Aliens', all films that I plan on seeing soon...actually, when does 'Cowboys & Aliens' come out? It looks sweet but I'm not sure when I can go and see it. I plan on seeing the other two in the next week or so but...you know what, never mind. I'll see them when I see them and I'll be seeing you when I'll be seeing you.

My Birthday: A Tad Late

2011-05-14T22:23:00.005+01:00

Seems I've dropped the ball with blog updates again. I would've updated this blog on the 12th when it was actually my birthday but the site was down. I checked yesterday and had a similar result so I came back today and...well, you're reading this so you can probably guess. Last year I seem to remember having an awesome birthday (after getting back from a kind of crappy day at school) where the big present I received was the news that I'd be going to Ireland for a weekend to see Iron Maiden playing live in Dublin.

This year, I didn't ask for a lot so I didn't receive a lot...but I did get everything I asked for. Two albums ("Garage Inc." - Metallica and "On Through The Night" - Def Leppard), World Of Warcraft Battlechest which I need to install in the next week, money & a car massage seat. Unfortunately, the last present turned out to be very disappointing. I've learned now that I should never trust anything from Halfords because they're always made poorly and are usually a bit shit. This seat had several flaws despite being a great idea for a product. OK, so a massage cushion that straps to the car seat so you can have a 'massage' whilst driving. Seems too good to be true, doesn't it?
That's because it is. The seat is padded so it positions a lot higher than you're used to in the driving seat. With my steering wheel cover, this means that my left leg is wedged up against the wheel and therefore it actually makes turning a lot harder. As for the position of the remote on the chair, this is also annoying. They placed it on the left side so it's right next to the seatbelt buckle making it just that little bit more troublesome. The actual massage seat isn't too bad and gets better after you leave it on for a minute but because the two motors are controlled by two buttons that aren't simply 'On' and 'Off', it's not as simple as it could be for a product that doesn't require a lot of thought to get right.
Finally, the last problem with the seat. When I tried to remove the charger that powers the seat from the cigarette lighter, it nearly wrenched the lighter socket out. I never use it anyway but if I need to in the future for Sat Navs and whatnot, this fucking irritating massage seat could've royally buggered that up for me. So the basic lesson you can extract from this blog post is that Halfords fucking suck. Last time I buy anything that they specifically made from them. On a brighter note, that wasn't all I received on the 12th.

I got a £20 voucher for the Iron Maiden website so I can buy the 2 albums I don't own along with other merchandise I fancy. I also got "The Green Hornet" on DVD, some joke presents and more money from the returned massage seat. If I'm honest, I didn't get everything I wanted and due to other complications it only felt like half a birthday but hopefully when friends get back from Uni and we can all hang out, I'll have sorted out a day of stuff to do that'll complete things. Anyway, I'm off to do whatever it is that I do now that I'm not blogging on a daily basis. Be seeing you.

May

2011-05-01T23:38:00.004+01:00

Well holy bejeezus, it's been a while since I did a fresh blog post here. I know I usually do a post every day but recently, I haven't felt up to doing it. Also, I'm not going to promise to "update more in the future" or hollow crap like that because I know I won't. I wanted to make it to 1000 posts before stopping daily posting but, in the end, I made it to about 930. That's not bad and I'll certainly keep on blogging when I actually have something to say...which brings me onto this blog post. May's here! We can look forward to the return of "Doctor Who", "South Park" and another birthday for you know who.

In video game news, "Portal 2" was the big release last month, a game almost certainly destined for the Game Of The Year prize at any awards show. I get it, it's amazing and it's funny and clever and all the things that make a perfect game. I won't be buying it. I don't think it'll appeal to me, I'm not a big fan of first person gaming and I'd rather save my money right now. Besides, it's not like the "Psychonauts" case where nobody was buying the game. I'm sure "Portal 2" and Valve will do just fine without me taking an interest. As for films, we can look forward to the summer blockbusters hitting the screens soon. I know there are a whole shitload of them but most come out in June and I can't remember all of them, if I'm honest.
TV is more of the same but quite a few shows will be ending, like "Supernatural", "Community" and "Chuck". At least "Supernatural" has been picked up for Season 7, which is awesome but it could be potentially disappointing since Season 6 feels like they're running out of ideas for awesome episodes, or maybe that's just because they were working with a poor series story arc for the first half. "Community" will also be back but, again, it's possible the show runner may have used all his best ideas for this Season. However, even the weaker episodes were still alright so I'm sure Season 3 will still be fun. As for "Chuck"...yeah, I'm not sure. Don't know if it's coming back, don't know how they can keep the show alive with interesting plots and whatnot after the two main characters get married.
Finally, the poll. A tie vote between 'Paranoid' - Black Sabbath and 'Powerslave' - Iron Maiden. I voted for the latter but it's interesting to see people want Black Sabbath masters in the game, even though the three best tracks are already in GH (one of them in GHWOR). I was thinking about the album track pack idea and realised that if they had album TPs in the shop, you could sell albums that would normally be censored but have age ratings on them. Since they can't sell adult material in the GH Shop, they could get a whole new selection of music that RB wouldn't be able to copy without censoring the fuck out of it or copying their idea. I'm only running with this idea because I desperately want to play most of the songs from "The Pick Of Destiny" - Tenacious D in Guitar Hero.

So, time for a new poll. I doubt anyone will really vote on it but screw it, I'll do one anyway. Nothing too serious, just something to keep you occupied if you find yourself on this blog and have 20-30 seconds to spare.

Whose voice would you rather have for one week?
a) Patrick Stewart
b) Stephen Fry
or
c) Morgan Freeman

Yes, only three choices this month. That's because usually, each time I do a poll, there's always one choice that nobody goes for. Last month it was 'Highway To Hell' - AC/DC so this month, it might be one of the choices but hopefully I'll get at least one vote for each of them. If it helps, think about what you'd want to do for one week with the voice of one of the above choices. Play pranks on people? Read out the lyrics to fun songs aloud? I don't know, I'm not you. It's not meant to be taken seriously so just pick the voice you'd want the most.
Not sure I'll blog about anything tomorrow but I'll aim to do at least one week of blogging this month. Be seeing you...at some point.

Records: Rock Band 3 ("Yoshimi Battles The Pink Robots, Pt. 1")

2011-04-10T22:14:00.005+01:00

I...I...I have no clue, I'm sorry. It's a nice and gentle song with easy guitar and a smooth sound to it but I have no idea what it's about or what is up with the title. Either way, I didn't hate it which is more than I can say for about half of the soundtrack in this game.

A high score of 381,205 here. There's no rating in the picture but I think I gave it a rating higher than 1/5...so that'd be 2/5 then. Anyway, more work tomorrow and my right foot is killing me so I need to rest my feet whilst watching some TV online. I might catch up with "Twenty Twelve" on the BBC iPlayer, since I hear it's supposed to be good. I'm also recording "The Walking Dead" on Channel 5 (since my dad is watching a film at the moment) so I can finally watch that tomorrow. If I have the time, I'll blog about both at some point this month. Be seeing you.

The Transporter Film Series: My Thoughts

2011-04-09T23:57:00.006+01:00

I watched "The Transporter 3" on Channel 4 earlier today and now I've decided to do a brief blog post about the three different films and what I thought about them. I'm not sure if a 4th film exists (or will exist) but for now, here are a few paragraphs about the 3 films in order. Firstly, "The Transporter". A film about a man (played by Jason Statham) who delivers any package anywhere for a price. He has rules as well. No names, never look at what the package is and no changes to the details arranged beforehand, e.g. weight of the car. I'm sure there's another rule but I can't remember it.

Anyway, in the first film, he's hired to take a bag from one place to another but after hearing noises coming from his boot, he breaks his own rule and discovers an Asian woman tied up in the back. He rescues her but pisses off the people he's been hired by. The rest of the film is mostly just him trying to save her and get revenge on them. I have to admit, I didn't love this film when I first saw it. The main reason for this was down to the female character in Jason Statham's boot. Her character's personality was irritating and I thought the woman couldn't really act that well during an emotional scene. I just remember thinking, "What the fuck is this shit?" when the filmmakers wanted me to care for somebody this annoying after watching Jason Statham beat up a mob of salty looking dudes.

As for everything else...I guess it was a passable action film, although nothing I'd really want to recommend. The second film, however, is worth watching if you managed to sit through the first. There's no obvious and painfully wedged in love story since the female characters are either already married or villains. This film involves a plot about a group trying to infect a senator with a virus so that he'll pass it onto more senators, crippling the Government. It was something along those lines, I can't really remember as I saw it a while ago. It was a lot better than the first but it was still only fairly mediocre. Films like these are only memorable for the action sequences and since I can't remember any of them, that kind of puts the film in a negative light. At least I remembered the story.

I guess that just leaves the third film. Jason Statham is forced to deliver a package after one of his friends is killed. However, to ensure that he actually does the job, a special bracelet is attached to his arm. If he reaches a certain distance away from his car then it'll explode, killing him. He's paired up with a woman also carrying a bracelet, so there is a romance plot and it does get kind of rubbish every now and then. However, at least the female character isn't as irritating as the one from the first film. She sucks but not as bad as...yeah, you get the picture. The action scenes are more fun, the story is more entertaining and the conclusion is more satisfying. In short, this is my favourite film of the three.

More work tomorrow so I'm calling it a night now. Be seeing you.

Records: Rock Band 3 ("Something Bigger, Something Brighter")

2011-04-08T23:43:00.003+01:00

I seem to remember the chart for this song being similar to the song "Ghost" on 'Guitar Hero: Warriors Of Rock', although instead of an awesome Rock song it was some douchey Alternative pap. It's a sightread FC and it wasn't as easy as others but I think it's supposed to be one of the hardest guitar songs in the game. So yeah, that's the game for you.

Quite a small score of 159,432 for a "difficult" song. I know I won't be playing this again any time soon. Anyway, I'd like to talk about my job but a) it's confidential shit I'm dealing with and I could end up getting buttfucked by the long arm of the law if I spill anything too serious and b) I'm saving my thoughts for a TV show idea I'm currently working on. Yes, I know I could get into trouble but at least I'll make a few people laugh if I do it right. Be seeing you.

Maximum Doomage #3

2011-04-07T22:54:00.003+01:00

I haven't got a lot of time to talk about this so never mind, here's the latest installment of Maximum Doomage:

This idea sounded better in my head when I was actually doing this whilst thinking, "You know what would make a fun webcomic?" and slowly crying as I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. Anyway, I can't really talk about my job on the blog so I guess that's it for the day. Be seeing you.

April

2011-04-06T21:19:00.003+01:00

Well here I am. Sitting behind a computer waiting to type something funny instead of sorting through my workload for the next week. If you follow me on Twitter then you'll know about my situation. I've been given a load of work to do in a month and even though the pay is great, it means that I doubt I'll have free time until May 6th. This means I probably won't have time to sit around writing mediocre blog posts for hours until I come up with something barely passable. So here's the plan!

I'll do a couple of blog posts today, maybe a few at the weekend and I'll try to make up for the ones I missed whilst I was in Cornwall with friends. If I have time when I can relax without having to worry about organisation or the amount of work I'll be doing the next day in a rough area of where I live, I'll probably blog then. However, I'm sure a lot of posts will be records if I can't be arsed to type something decent. Anyway, now that that's cleared up, let's have a look at the upcoming month of April.

TV shows in America have taken a mini break and they'll be back in a week or so. Other TV shows like "South Park" and "Doctor Who" will be starting again, so we can look forward to those too. A new show in the UK called "Campus" started this month and that'll continue to air each week. I'll do a bit of blogging about that at some point...maybe after this post? Who knows. Oh wait, I do.

Yeah, TV has kind of blitzed film & video gaming this month. That's not to say that there aren't good films and games released this month, just ones that I don't care about right now. If you hadn't noticed already, a poll has been up for about 6 days and some people have voted on it. The last poll had a fair number of votes for the amount of people who usually check out this blog. Unsurprisingly, WoW won. I guess people are happy to get burnt, cut, killed, respawned, eaten, frozen, electrified and countless other painful methods of entertainment as long as they get an epic mount and a limited supply of magic.

I can't remember what I voted for myself...probably World Of Warcraft, but I can't say for certain. Anyway, have fun with the new poll if you're into Guitar Hero. Speaking of which, possibly the last ever DLC track pack for Guitar Hero this month. It sucks that we won't get new music from them for a while (ignoring RB, of course) so I'm hoping the DLC is something good. Not just a load of tepid modern bland shite like the tunes in March. Actually, I kind of liked a couple of them but I didn't get any.

I've only got 250 Wii points left so I can only buy one song. I'm saving my points in case there's a song I desperately want to play released this month, although if there's nothing then I'm getting "Burden In My Hand" - Soundgarden. Not sure what the chart is like though. Never mind. I can always buy more points from GAME or HMV if I choose to. Be seeing you.

P.S. Even though the tags have "Work Experience" when I was talking about work earlier, it is actually a proper job I have this month. I just can't be arsed to create a new label and that one was kind of similar. So sue me for being lazy.

Cornwall Holiday: The Situation For The Next 5 Days

2011-03-31T20:31:00.004+01:00

Similar to previous blog posts where I've gone on holiday for a week or so, this is just a little notice stating that I won't be blogging for about 5 days starting from tomorrow. This isn't an April Fool's Joke or me having an Internet hissy fit or something, I'll be in Cornwall with a few friends before starting work for the rest of the month and first week of May. There isn't an Internet connection at the house we're staying at so I won't be blogging, Tweeting or anything like that. I'll be gaming, eating, and watching DVDs with friends...along with other stuff. I'm sure it'll be awesome.

In short, this means I won't be responding to comments anyone might make until I get back on the 5th. So what does this mean for the poll? I've thought of that and that's why there's another poll under the one that currently has yet to finish (although if you're reading this in April then it'll definitely be over). Here's a little bit of info about the new poll for the month. Sorry, but it's kind of meant for Guitar Hero/Rock Band players:

Which album would you rather buy & play in Guitar Hero out of the following choices?

a) Powerslave - Iron Maiden

b) Appetite For Destruction - Guns N Roses

c) Highway To Hell - AC/DC

d) Paranoid - Black Sabbath

Before you start thinking, "There's no point in voting, none of these will ever come to GH", I agree with you. It's unlikely that Iron Maiden DLC will come to Guitar Hero (although it'd be fucking awesome if it did), Guns N Roses will never be in GH again after the whole Axl lawsuit, AC/DC are Rock Band exclusives and Black Sabbath will only let GH use master recordings from Master Of Reality. This poll is based on two things. Firstly, it's designed to basically see which bands people prefer in GH and secondly, there's no need to take anything other than your own personal taste into account because chances are none of these choices are heading to Guitar Hero any time soon.

Don't just go with the album that everyone else likes or the album that has one song on it you enjoy. Think about all of the songs on the album, how they'd play on Guitar Hero and whether or not you'd actually buy most, if not all, of the songs on it. I know which one I'd go for. No prizes for guessing which. Anyway, that's all for a while. Take good care of this blog whilst I'm gone and when I return, I'll have to do double posting for a few days which means there may be some record posts cropping up but I've also got plans for great posts later on in April. Be seeing you.

Top 10 Vitamin String Quartet Covers

2011-03-30T21:55:00.003+01:00

Just reading the title of this blog post makes me feel like I'm really running out of ideas but a post is a post, I guess. If you weren't aware of the Vitamin String Quartet, they're a cover band that only use strings and occasionally some sort of percussion. So every instrument in a song is covered on strings, including vocals. They've covered a massive variety of songs, ranging from Pop music to Speed Metal, and here are my 10 favourite songs by the group. There is one slight problem with this post, though.

I can't find all of their songs on Youtube so I don't think there's much point in me linking the songs in this post to videos that do exist. Instead, here's my Spotify playlist (with an extra 6 songs that I like). I'll also link the original songs in the bit under the title, so just to clear up these are my 10 favourite covers of songs by the Vitamin String Quartet with links to the original song so you can compare it to the string version (if you've got Spotify).

10. Werewolves Of London (Made Famous by Warren Zevon)

9. Toys In The Attic (Made Famous by Aerosmith)

8. Needled 24/7 (Made Famous by Children Of Bodom)

7. Electioneering (Made Famous by Radiohead)

6. Sweet Home Alabama (Made Famous by Lynyrd Skynyrd)

5. Burden In My Hand (Made Famous By Soundgarden)

4. Castles Made Of Sand (Made Famous By The Jimi Hendrix Experience)

3. Under The Bridge (Made Famous By Red Hot Chili Peppers)

2. Wheel In The Sky (Made Famous By Journey)

1. Dani California (Made Famous By Red Hot Chili Peppers)

Another day, another couple of blog posts. Apologies if you can't use my Spotify playlist because you don't own Spotify. I'm sure some of these songs are available on Youtube as Vitamin String Quartet covers, just not all of them. Also, I don't really think there's much point in me talking about each of the songs as if I know what I'm talking about. They're covers of good songs but they sound just as good because of the sound of the strings. That's about it. Be seeing you.

PS3 System Updates: A Mini Rant

2011-03-30T16:54:00.003+01:00

I must have covered my hatred of system updates on this blog before but this time, I'm really annoyed. I've had to download system updates that take hours before but it's only now that I'm really pissed off with them. Firstly, here are the things that irritated me before. You couldn't use the Playstation Network until you got the update. This means that you can't get DLC until you've updated the console, even if the update has nothing to do with DLC that's already on the store.

As I've already covered, they take ages. Maybe this is my crappy Wi-Fi connection but they still take too long for an update that doesn't even need to be done*. However, it was only when I tried to delete some songs from Rock Band DLC that I found a massive problem. It seems the PS3 can't actually remove individual songs without deleting everything and installing it all over again. If there is a way you can do it, please tell me in the comment section because I literally have no idea how it can be done and I want to get rid of tracks so I can download some more. But this problem got me thinking. Could this be fixed with a PS3 System Update, so you could delete individual purchases from your collection of DLC?

If not, ignore this blog post. If so (and really, it should be possible if they can add features like LoveFilm & the ITV Player), why the hell haven't they done it in a system update? That sounds like the kind of thing that would actually be fucking useful in an update, being able to remove DLC you no longer want so you can download more DLC. I don't give a single shit about being able to edit picture albums or adjust settings for my controller to decide when it should turn off if I haven't used it and yet I still have to waste time downloading the system updates that allow me to do that.

This latest update is a result of people hacking the PS3 and Sony getting pissed off at them. OK, so you're updating the PS3 to increase the security behind it. Why not add the ability to delete things from the Hard Disk that aren't demos? Any DLC installed into a game should be able to be removed. I mean, if the fucking Wii can do it then surely the PS3 should. So that's it for my rant. It's not the most focused or even intelligent argument but it's just my thoughts about the whole thing. If you're going to waste our time fixing a problem that never even affected us, at least fix the fucking problems. My same thoughts for bloody roadworks as well. Be seeing you.

* I know, I can't say they're pointless because some of them actually have to be installed. My counter-argument to that is: Why can't they tell us what we're installing? Previous updates have said things like, "This is so you can edit video footage on the PS3" and stuff like that. If they actually have a good reason for making us update the system, why do they never say anything like, "This is to upgrade the security and fix glitches on the Playstation Home"?

Top 10 Epic Meals on Epic Meal Time

2011-03-29T17:30:00.003+01:00

It should come as no surprise that I'm not the only person who loves food. At first, I thought the height of great food ideas where you combine products to make something even more delicious/awesome was This Is Why You're Fat. How wrong was I? It turns out that a Youtube channel called Epic Meal Time made weekly videos involving a crew of Canadians making badass meals, usually consisting of Jack Daniels whiskey and bacon. They've currently made 22 videos but two of them are collections of deleted scenes from previous videos, so (not counting their appearance on Jay Leno in America), they've made 20 Epic Meals so far.

I wanted to do this post a couple of weeks ago but I thought I'd wait until they'd made 20 Epic Meals before I decided which 10 were my favourites. They're all pretty awesome, but some are way better than others. Here are my favourites that I recommend you watch if you love food:

10. TurBaconEpic Thanksgiving

Starting off my list with a special meal they made for Thanksgiving. It's not just a turkey or a pig for dinner. It's a bird in a bird in a bird in a bird in a bird in a pig. THAT'S how they do Thanksgiving meals! It looks amazing and it certainly had a lot of effort put into it but I'm rating these on three things. How it'll probably taste, how it looks and how awesome the idea behind it is. I think it's got the last two of those down but I'm not sure it'll taste as good as the other 9 meals on this list, but that's just my opinion.

9. Epic Indian Experience

The latest EMT video. They make a massive onion bhaji, a Naan bread pizza and a badass Samosa. Again, all great looking food that probably tastes really nice (especially with the extra curried bacon) but it's not their greatest idea, so it stays at number 9. However, it's still a good idea and the little skits in between the cooking are very funny.

8. The Death Of The Double Down

One of their earliest videos. Basically, instead of eating a regular KFC Double Down, they take the ingredients of a Double Down and max it out with extra burgers, Southern Fried chicken, onion rings, macaroni cheese, bacon and more. It looks like it'd be interesting to eat, since they're around about the size of the Inception Burger I made a while ago (maybe even a bit smaller) and it certainly looks more impressive than a regular Double Down.

7. The Black Legend

Epic dessert! Loads of snacks, fast food desserts and chocolate to make a big crepe full of deep fried goodness. As far as desserts go, it looks brilliant. It's a great idea and it looks very nice. It'll probably taste nice as well, so it covers all 3 of the factors I'm using...but it is a dessert. An epic dinner will always top an epic dessert, the dessert is the encore of a meal. If you mess up dessert then that's a shame...but if you mess up dinner, that's a catastrophe. So it's very good but the following meals have the natural advantage of being proper meals.

6. Epic Eggroll

Chinese food cooked up and made into a massive egg roll? Fuckin' smart. There's not much to say about this one really, it looks tasty and impressive. You'll just have to watch it and judge for yourself.

5. Meat Salad

Ahh yes, the Meat Salad. A whole shitload of meat prepared to look like vegetables and arranged/tossed like a salad. Easy to prepare, tasty to eat and great to just look at. Easily makes it into the Top 5 Epic Meals.

4. Fast Food Sushi

I liked the idea behind this more than the appearance or taste, although I reckon both of those are unlikely to disappoint. Anything combining different types of Fast Food into something amazing is worth talking about. Speaking of which, I had an idea for a Fast Food related Epic Meal of my own. It's different and I'll update this blog with details about it soon. For now, you'll have to wait. If I had to give you a clue, it'd be that the meal isn't your typical large dish. If anything...it's more of a challenge than a meal. So think about that.

3. Meatball Deathstar

The best bit about this video is the dialogue and amusing shouting from the host. He usually gives it everything anyway but in this one, he sounds plain old pissed off. As for the actual meal, it looks a lot better than it sounds. A massive meatball filled with pasta, covered in meat sauce on top of a big piece of garlic bread. It actually makes me hungry just describing it now.

2. The Sloppy Roethlisberger

This will always stay in my mind as their most impressive meal (after the TurBaconEpic). A gigantic burger with more than 100,000 calories. It was made for the Superbowl and it also contains several hilarious quotes. "ALL THIS MEAT", "BBQ Sauce injection...BUT WE GOTTA BLOW THE BBQ SAUCE!" and "Motherf*cking sports!" are some of them. They seriously go all out for this one. A massive custom made bun, an epic amount of meat for the burger, a load of cheese for the cheese spread, sheets of bacon and a JD BBQ concoction. Not only is it a masterpiece of food in general but it actually looks delicious.

1. Breakfast Of Booze

My personal favourite, but that's because I love breakfast food. The combination of alcohol and breakfast food sounds badass and the food actually looks very nice as well. Hash brown balls are probably my favourite although the deep fried dumplings look good as well. The poll I posted a few months ago about EMT revealed that this one is the meal I'd want to actually make and eat with friends but for now, it's great to just admire in the Epic Meal Time video.

I'll try and do two blog posts tomorrow as well but if I don't have the time then I definitely will on Thursday. Be seeing you.

Records: Rock Band 3 ("Killing Loneliness")

2011-03-29T16:33:00.003+01:00

Apologies for another record post. I want to try and blog twice a day for the rest of the month to make up for missing posts and if I don't have anything to talk about, I have to do one of these. I will do a better blog post later today but I wanted to get this one out of the way. I can't remember how this song goes but I think it's quite a long song. It was certainly easy to FC, I know that much. I think it ended in a long relaxing solo, kind of like "Shooting Star" on Rock Band 2...except this song is dreary and a bit shit.

Notice how all of these songs are rated 1/5. There's a reason for that. Anyway, a disappointing score of 185,825 and a mental note to never play this song again if I can avoid it are the only things I took away from playing this track. I guess that's another blog post done. I'll be back again to post something related to food. Be seeing you...in about 3-4 hours.

Friday Bloody Friday

2011-03-28T14:47:00.003+01:00

Recently, a certain pop music video has become popular for all the wrong reasons online. It went viral almost immediately and it actually entered the iTunes Top 100. I'm talking about Rebecca Black's "Friday", a song so terrible I can't bring myself to post a link to it on this blog because it means I actually have to find the video on Youtube. I couldn't even force myself to listen to the whole song, I got about a minute in and just had to close it down although I doubt it gets any better from the autotuned, idiotic mess I watched.

The music video is so godawful that it's actually made people stop hating Justin Bieber because a younger artist with terrible music has stepped into the online spotlight. Rebecca Black's video has had many parodies and the lyrics have been used on thousands of different meme images. At first, it was mildly amusing. However, once we reached the point in the week where it was actually Friday, things got ridiculous. Every post on Memebase was a parody of the song, Rebecca Black's name became a Trending Topic on Twitter for about 2 weeks and the video received even more views it didn't deserve. It wasn't too long before hilarious individuals started posting prank interpretations of the lyrics, analysing the song and claiming it was a deep or cynical view on teenage life.

These are the people that don't have a big problem with the song, the ones that don't really care about it. I'm not one of those people. I'm not going to pretend that the song is clever or funny or good in any way. If you like it, there is something wrong with you. Usually people that like crap bands or songs can defend themselves with the fact that it's just their musical taste. I don't have a problem with Nickelback or JLS fans liking the music that their band plays because I know that everyone is entitled to their own opinions. Not this time. I have no respect for people who like this song, it is possibly the worst song I've ever heard that, quite frankly, is an insult to good music that doesn't get noticed because of pap like this.

Some people out there have the same opinion as me but made the mistake of blaming Rebecca Black for singing it. No, she's not the main offender here. The real bastards to blame are ARK Music Factory, the company that churns out this shit. They're responsible for taking teenage girls who want to have a career in music and giving them a terrible song to sing. They also make music videos such as the one for "Friday" but from what I've heard, the man in charge of the company has a cameo in each video. This man is Patrice Wilson and you can watch a video interview with the man here.

He's the tosspot who decided to autotune Rebecca's voice to buggery. He's the tosspot who most likely wrote the cheap and pathetic lyrics to "Friday". He's the tosspot who claims there's no difference between this song and a catchy tune you hear on the radio, mistaking the popularity through hatred behind "Friday" for general acclaim. He's the tosspot who will keep on doing this to teenage girls with parents who have a lot of money if you keep on watching the video and making it viral, encouraging him to make the next one even more 'popular'. But, worst of all, he's the tosspot you should be making fun of when you're busy laughing about how terrible Rebecca Black is as a person.

There are rumours that her voice is actually supposed to be quite good when not autotuned to Hades, although she's better at singing theatre songs instead of pop music so they had to change her voice to make it more appropriate for the video. Like I said, I honestly don't know if that's true so I don't want it to affect my argument too much but supposing it is then it's just more proof that what ARK Music Factory are doing is wrong. If someone can actually sing, let them sing. Don't bastardise their talent just so you can sell more singles. So that's my stance on the whole issue. I hate the song, I don't really have a proper opinion on Rebecca Black and I fucking hate ARK Music Factory.

As for the people who have made her song famous, you've basically snookered yourself. You claim her song is terrible and you can't stand listening to it yet you never stop talking about it on Twitter, feeding the urge in others to listen to it. In fact, what the fuck am I doing talking about it on this blog post? My only hope is that "Family Guy" parodies the music video in a new episode, killing the meme like so many before it. RIP Chuck Norris Facts.

Doctor Who Experience: My Thoughts

2011-03-27T22:16:00.005+01:00

[I'M AWARE THE PARAGRAPH SPACING FOR THIS POST IS DIFFERENT. THIS IS AN ISSUE WITH BLOGGER.COM THAT THEY NEED TO FIX]

Today, I went to the Doctor Who Experience in London with family members as a birthday treat for my cousin. Just so you have a better idea of the context behind this, my cousin is 7 and this was for his upcoming 8th birthday. He's young and he loves Doctor Who, as do I and the other family members I went with. All of us were looking forward to this Experience, though none of us really knew what it would be like. We had ideas and we could guess that it'd be similar to the Doctor Who Exhibition I went to a couple of years ago but in the end, it was a little bit more than that.

This is a guide of the Experience so you can decide whether or not you want to go, although I doubt any of you will because it's quite pricey. It starts off with a room containing a few props and whatnot from Series 5 episodes of Doctor Who, things like the painting of the monster in "Vincent And The Doctor" or the weather altering machine in "Vampires In Venice". Those were alright but they were just a warm-up for the main event. Eventually, after a slightly delayed start, a group of us (since it was like a theme park ride where about 20 people are sent through at a time) made our way into a small room where we watched a montage of clips from Series 5 of Doctor Who.

After that, the screen split in half like a crack (a theme from Doctor Who) and we went through it to a room resembling a museum from Starship UK from "The Beast Below". There were a few props from different episodes in here and even a nod to previous episodes like "Tooth And Claw" and "Silence In The Library". However, it wasn't too long before the screen playing a little video cut to Matt Smith (The Doctor) trapped in the Pandorica again. He'd filmed a few scenes for the Experience that basically gave the whole thing a story.

It may not have been as complex or brilliant as something Steven Moffat usually writes but for an audience of children and parents that have been dragged along, it wasn't too bad. We were led into the TARDIS interior where we were able to fiddle with some levers that made the floor move. Again, for a load of kids, this was great. After that, we made our way through a long tunnel that took us into a Dalek spaceship with Daleks from the new series waiting for us and making a lot of noise.

Another element to the story that I won't talk about (might as well leave some of the details out, otherwise there's no point in you going), another tunnel to walk through with a few Weeping Angels here and there before we were given 3D glasses and led into a room with a large wall designed like the outside of the Pandorica. Another performance from Matt Smith on the video and then the wall parted to show a 3D film involving a load of monsters from Doctor Who, old and new. When this was over, we left the room and found ourselves at the Exhibition part of the Experience.

Costumes, props, models and a few constructed sets for people to admire and take pictures of. I'd seen most of them before but it was cool to see the new ones, and even the old ones for a second time. After slowly making our way around the Exhibition, we came to the shop at the end of the Experience filled with DVDs, books and toys for kids. So that's that, and now for my thoughts. Overall, it was pretty good. It was kind of entertaining and everybody seemed to love it. Kids enjoyed the interactive parts and adults probably enjoyed the second half with the models of all the monsters and such.

It's appropriate for just about everyone, it's not too kiddy and it's not too scary so any fan can turn up and enjoy a fair share of it. In fact, I even saw a grown man dressed like the 10th Doctor (David Tennant) walking around the Exhibition with a girl...yeah. There are a few complaints, though. For starters, it's very short. Somebody claimed it lasts about an hour and a half. Rubbish. Optimistically speaking, it was about 50 minutes from the start of the episode clip montage to the shop. In that sense, I guess it's close to a proper Doctor Who Experience since each episode lasts just under that amount of time.

This may concern adults who bought the tickets but children with short attention spans probably won't be bothered by this...I was, even though I wasn't paying for it. The Experience seemed like it was half finished, if I'm honest. We covered "The Beast Below", "Victory Of The Daleks", "The Time Of The Angels", "Flesh & Stone", "The Pandorica Opens" and "The Big Bang". All the episodes in between were left out of the walking part of the tour, which was kind of irritating. We didn't even see Silurian costumes from "The Hungry Earth/Cold Blood" or the time machine from "The Lodger".

I was kind of hoping other great episodes from Series 5 would get a mention, like "Amy's Choice". Seemed a shame, since they could've done something clever with those and the tour would've been more worth the price. Some of the items in the shop seemed a bit expensive as well. £10 for a programme that was mostly pictures and things you can read for free on the Internet. I suppose they have to make all their money somehow, since it must be pretty hard work to make/move the sets and props needed to make the Experience as decent as it was today

I'd recommend this to kids who love Doctor Who and die-hard fans who want to get pictures of the costumes and stuff like that. I saw a team of about 5 teens walking around and taking pictures of Daleks. They seemed to love it but if it was one bloke on his own then I reckon he wouldn't have been so eager to pose with stuff whilst somebody else took a picture of him. Like most Exhibitions you can go to in London, it all depends on how much money you're willing to spend and how much you actually enjoy the content.

If you're running low on cash or don't really care about Doctor Who then give it a miss. Otherwise, make your own mind up from what you've read. It's not bad but with the new series of Doctor Who starting in about a month, I'd personally wait until they update the Experience/Exhibition with new costumes and things next year. They're bound to keep it going as long as kids keep on watching and showing an interest in Doctor Who.

Maybe you'll be lucky enough to go to the Experience tour on the same day that one of the writers or actors does. Who knows...get it?

Records: Rock Band 3 ("Misery Business")

2011-03-27T03:16:00.004+01:00

I can sort of remember this song being kind of fun in "Guitar Hero: World Tour" although, when playing it again in RB3, it was just...dull. I mean, I'm not a massive fan of the song so that didn't help but I've played a lot worse and I'd play this track over a lot of the others in the game. Even so, it was still an easy FC.

Yeah, rated 1 star and a score of 179,740. Clearly I didn't have a happy time with this song. I never really understood the appeal behind bands like this that churn out mediocre music. I guess a combination of teen pop/rock and an attractive woman on lead vocals is enough to shift albums off shelves, even if the music is dull and exactly the kind of thing that I hate.

Normally at this point, I'd say something like "that's all for today"...BUT IT ISN'T! When I wake up in about 6 hours, I'll be getting ready to head over to London with family members to go to the Doctor Who Exhibition. Before I dig myself too deep, I should point out that it's not for me. It's a birthday treat for my cousin who wanted me to go along. Besides, I've already been to the Doctor Who Exhibition and I happily agreed to go again. It was awesome. But as I was saying, I'll probably blog about it today so that I can make up for missing posts. I just wanted to get a record post out of the way now whilst I'm still awake.
So yeah, I'll be blogging again in the second half of the day. Not sure when but it'll probably be late afternoon/evening. Be seeing you.

Twitter Commentary: An Idea For A New Social Activity

2011-03-26T15:02:00.004Z

I'm sure something like this has been done before but I reckon this is the first time it's had as much planning as this. My idea is fairly straightforward. Pick a film/TV series, organise an event every two weeks where a group of people all over the country (or maybe even the world) watch it at the same time, arrange a time and a date for this event and, when it finally comes around, tweet your own personal commentary about said film/TV series with a special hashtag so everyone can read the comments of others whilst watching the film/TV show.

If you've never sat down with a group of friends to watch something at the same time, like a Film Night or TV show marathon, then you should. I've done both and they're surprisingly awesome. However, if a large group of people did it for a film/TV show everyone had seen just for the purpose of adding their own commentary without spoiling it for other people, surely that'd be even better. I need to explain this in more detail. Let's say the hashtag is #Twommentary or something like that, something that's unique and won't get confused for anything else. If everyone who wants to take part tweets their commentary with that hashtag then everyone will be able to read each other's jokes and comments about the agreed film/TV series.
It's another form of social entertainment that's relatively easy to do and, if enough people decide to take part, it'll be fun as well. As for the chosen film/TV series, that'll have to be done by the person organising the event...so that's me. I'd pick 4 films & 4 TV shows that we could watch and everyone would vote for the film or show they wanted to watch. The one with the most votes is picked. So if a film gets the most votes on week 1, say..."300", a film that's easy to tweet/joke about, after watching that the next #Twommentary will take place in two weeks. Instead of holding another vote, the next highest film or TV series will be picked. This will follow until everything that received a vote has been watched, then another poll will start with 8 more films and TV shows.
The TV shows will be harder to watch, since it won't just be 1 episode of something. It'll be an entire season or series in a marathon style viewing. As for breaks, those would be much easier with a TV show. 10 minutes after each episode so that gives people enough time to go to the toilet, get some snacks and, if necessary, change the DVD around. There wouldn't be a break in the middle of a film although if we were watching a series all in one go, like "Die Hard", we'd have 20 minutes after each film for a break. I know that this would be difficult to arrange with a massive group of people all watching from different places but if everyone knows that 10-20 minutes is the agreed time for having a break then they should make sure they don't need longer than that amount of time. Advert breaks on TV are only 5 minutes so they really shouldn't miss anything.

As for rules? Only a couple. Firstly, you need to have seen the chosen film/TV show before taking part in the #Twommentary. That way, we can all tweet jokes relating to possible spoilers. Also, you won't need to focus on watching whatever we've chosen. You can use it to refresh your memory of a joke or thought before tweeting it so that everyone sees your comment and understands what you mean without missing anything from the film/TV show. If you haven't seen "300" or whatever we pick and you're busy reading tweets about the film, you'll miss out on actually watching it. Or vice versa, you'll be spending your time just watching the film instead of joking about it with others.
Second rule: No backtracking. Once a film/TV show starts, it runs all the way through until the end. No pausing halfway through, no rewinding so you can make an extra joke, we watch the film/TV show from start to finish and then have a break. If you need to do something in the middle of the viewing then don't pause it, just let it run. That way things will make sense when you go back to watching it and read the corresponding commentary. I feel I should also point out that this isn't meant to mock films. It's not like a 'Bad Movie Night' where you all get together and rip the piss out of the Indian Superman or something.
It's a film/TV show commentary done online over Twitter so instead of meeting up in person to watch something, we all do it together without actually being in the same area. Sure, some films would be mocked like...well, like "300", but we'd also have ones that are good yet slightly flawed. Maybe films from the 60s or 70s with naff special effects and stuff like that. We'd joke about it but we'd all still appreciate it, the same way you might make fun of a friend for saying something dumb but really you still like each other because there's no malice or hate in the friendly ribbing. Am I making sense here?

The only tricky part that would turn people off the idea would be getting the film/TV show on DVD. If we all decide to watch "Where Eagles Dare" then I'm certain that a load of people won't have that on DVD. In that case, they'll have to try and rent it from Blockbuster or somewhere for a couple of days. One day to watch it, the next day for the arranged #Twommentary. I think that's everything although chances are I've missed something. Tell you what, if you have any questions or thoughts about my idea then state them in the comment section and I'll come back to you about them within a couple of days.
I'd really like to do this every two weeks if people are up for it so please spread the word about this idea if you like the sound of it. Let's try and get this thing going. Who knows, maybe some of us will end up meeting new people over Twitter after a series of humourous retweets. Maybe some of us will discover new films or TV shows to enjoy. Maybe I'll finally have something to do with actual humans on a regular basis, even though it'll be done over the Internet. So that's it then, I've said my piece.
Hopefully this won't be the last time I talk about it but it is partially down to you now. Be seeing you.

More Epic Meal Ideas

2011-03-25T17:27:00.004Z

I can't say that I'll be making these any time soon, since I'm going on a short break in a week and after that I'll be working for a month, but these are ideas I've had recently that I would love to bring into our reality from the dark void of food, music and TV/film references that is my mind. I've already made a Chocolate Paella, a Breakfast Pie and an Inception Burger. In a week, I'll be making a massive Cornish Pasty with friends (hopefully, we'll make an "Epic Meal Time" themed video to put on Youtube) and after that, I want to make my Reverse Bacon Lasagne. But what about meals after that? I can't just give up there, I'm only just getting started.
In an ideal world, my dream is to get noticed by the Epic Meal Time crew...or to at least make it onto The Daily What, that'd be brilliant. However, in order to do that, I need to make something worth knowing about. The Breakfast Pie is my greatest creation so far. I aim to make something as awesome as 3 Breakfast Pies in my life. I don't know what...but I will. For the time being, here are some ideas for Epic Meals that may or may not be on my plate at some point within the next year or so. Any thoughts on the following dishes, feel free to speak them in the comment section:

INSTRU-MEATS
Musical instruments made of food

This would be a challenge but, if I could pull it off, it would be awesome. I'm thinking drums, a guitar and a keyboard all made of different types of food. Thinking about the space in my kitchen, they'd have to be mini instruments. The kind of instruments that are designed for kids, like a keyboard about the size of a flute or a guitar about the size of a saxophone. I tried to make a Snow Guitar Hero controller a few months ago and that was too difficult for me to do. I made the neck, part of the body and the headstock but in the end, I couldn't do it. This would be my chance to redeem myself for failing at that task...and I get a great meal out of it too.

THE CAESARIAN (a.k.a. THE RUSSIAN DOLL)
A massive Chicken Kiev filled with garlic sauce and mini Chicken Kievs

I pitched this idea a while ago on this blog. It's probably impossible to make on my own but I guess the point of this blog post is to act as a place for me to store ideas so that when I'm older and (hopefully) have everything/everyone I need to make this monster, I can check this website and refresh my memory of all the ideas I had. I'm sure I'll have new ideas but, so I don't forget these ones, I'm listing them now. Also, if you're able to make any of these and see something here that you want to make then go for it. As long as you acknowledge & credit this blog as the main source, I suppose I don't really mind if you create one of my ideas. Like I said, just don't steal it and claim you came up with it on your own*.

THE SCOTCH PLANET
A scotch egg the size of a football filled with bacon, eggs, gravy and other types of meat

My mouth watered just thinking about this meal. It'd be tough to create, what with both the size and construction issues, but I strongly believe it's possible to make this. If they can make regular sized scotch eggs then damnit man, THEY CAN MAKE A MASSIVE ONE! Whether or not bacon and egg will go with gravy is another issue altogether. I'm certain that it will, though.

VOL-CAKE-NO
Treacle sponge volcano filled with custard lava

OK, I'm holding my hands up here. This idea sort of came from a friend of mine. He was telling me about making a volcano out of mashed potato with gravy lava but I decided it would also work as an epic dessert. So yeah, my friend Simon is responsible for this one (although not the terrible pun, that was me. Sorry). I feel like this is halfway finished as an idea, it needs more to become truly great. I'll have to find some way of adding ice cream and chocolate into the equation, otherwise I'll feel like I didn't go far enough with this creation.

SOMETHING WITH FAST FOOD
Something with Fast Food

I don't know. I'm not sure what form the food will take, I'm not sure which items of Fast Food I'll use but I am sure of one thing. I want to make an Epic Meal combining KFC, Burger King, McDonalds and maybe even Pizza Hut into one magnificent hybrid of heart disease and win. I'll have to get menus from the different places and work out the best combination to go with. I'm aware that EMT have done a Fast Food Pizza and Fast Food Sushi, so those two meals are out of bounds. I need to make something along those lines...but better.

FRANKENFURTER
A life-size pig made of different pork products

This would be the special meal I would only attempt to make once in my lifetime. If I felt like the time was right, I'd spent at least a month making sure everything was OK to put it all together. I'd need a camera to film the making of this beast, a load of cash to pay for the construction and a crew of friends to help me get ingredients, put it together and (most importantly) eat the thing. I can't see this happening in under a year, if I'm honest, but I can see it happening. It's too good an idea to let it stay as one, it NEEDS to exist.

Those are all of the ideas that I have so far. I know I'll have more and if I remember then I'll add them to this blog post. For now, that's it. Be seeing you.

* On that note, these are all my ideas. I didn't see a food musical instrument and think "oh, I'm having that". As far as I know, these all came from my head. HOWEVER, if there is a website out there that detailed instructions on how to make any of the following dishes before I made this post then I apologise. I'm currently not aware of any items I've mentioned existing already.

Maximum Doomage #2

2011-03-24T23:08:00.005Z

OK, so I finally thought up a name for my new webcomic series. I thought about webcomics that I read and their titles. A lot of the time, they have nothing to do with whatever the comic is about and yet somehow they still work. Basically, I just took part of a quote that I used a while ago and shortened it to come up with something that I think I can apply to this webcomic. So yeah, from now my new webcomic series will be called...

Maximum Doomage.

Don't like it? Think of something better, suggest it in the comment section and I'll take it into account. Otherwise, tough. So here's the next issue of 'Maximum Doomage':

Hopefully that shouldn't be too tough to read if you click on the image. I wasn't too sure about this one, since I felt like it wasn't as funny as another idea I had. However, that webcomic involved drawing a new friend into it and I still can't remember what her hair looks like so I couldn't draw her character without making it a random person. Anyway, this comic isn't too bad. It's not that good but it's not that bad.
I don't have any plans for tomorrow so, with any luck, I'll post twice in the day again. Be seeing you.

Records: Rock Band 3 ("Don't Stand So Close To Me")

2011-03-24T21:50:00.003Z

I can't really remember much about the guitar chart for this song although I believe this is a sightread FC, so it must have been very easy on guitar. I've also rated it 1/5 so I'm guessing the guitar is quite dull, even though I sort of like the song. Not as much as "Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic", which had a surprisingly fun guitar chart in 'Lego Rock Band', but I don't mind hearing the song if it comes on the radio or something.

Even though the guitar must have been simple, the score of 176,475 is higher than a lot of other songs with better guitar charts. Like I said, I FC'd this a while ago so I can't really remember what the chart was like. I don't care either. Anyway, I need to do two blog posts today to make up for the ones I missed whilst I was in Cornwall so I'll be back to post a webcomic after watching a new episode of "Glory Daze" (new in the UK). I'm starting to enjoy the show, even though I don't care for the university party culture. Be seeing you.

Bose Earphones: My Thoughts

2011-03-23T14:29:00.005Z

I've already expressed my opinion about Bose Earphones on this blog briefly before in multiple posts. Those were mostly just rants about how much Bose pissed me off by selling earphones that break after a couple of months. Now it's time for another set of rantings, along with a few words of praise which I'll start with. For kick off, Bose quality is brilliant. The sound is clearer, the bass has been enhanced and all in all it's better to listen to music through those earphones. The earphone buds have also been designed so that they fit into your ears easily and unless you have a spastic ear like me, they rarely fall out of your ears.

Another great thing about Bose isn't just down to their products. Their customer support team are tolerant of angry people like me and offer helpful advice to people who have broken their earphones. They even repair/replace them for free if they break within a year of buying them and they also claim to replace the earphone buds for free if you lose one of them. Those are the positive qualities that Bose possess, but believe me there are negatives that will come a bit later after a few neutral points. Bose earphones may have top notch quality when it comes to listening to music but my God, they are easy to break or snag on something.
They seem to have made the jack for the earphones stronger so this problem may have vanished around about the time of my blog post complaining about it but I've only been able to keep my 4th pair of earphones trouble free by putting them in a little case when I'm done with them instead of wrapping them around my iPod. I've grown used to this task and it no longer bugs me but I know for a fact that it would be easier for me if I could just wrap the earphones around my relatively big iPod Touch without worrying about the sound going in one of the ears. I'm not sure if they've addressed this problem with their smaller earphones but it's one that all companies need to work on.
It's not just Bose earphones where the sound will crack in one of the ears, it seems to be every fucking pair I've had. If you know this is a common problem, don't worry about inventing new products, just bloody fix the older ones and then start working on new ones. Sidenote rant here but the same thing can be said for video games consoles. It's 2011 and consoles are still freezing. Don't shoehorn tacky gimmicks and buzzwords into a console or video game if it's just going to glitch out and/or die after a few months, even the earliest video games consoles didn't do that. Nice going dipshits, you've gone backwards.

Anyway, back on target. I'm not saying all Bose earphones have this problem but mine certainly do. The buds secure onto the earphones and snap into place but one of them is weaker than the other. In fact, it was so weak that after I left the earphones hanging over the edge of my bed in Cornwall to get a drink from the kitchen, it seems that gravity was enough to make the bud fall off the earphone. I lost one of the buds and came back to find that it would be harder to listen to music now. It was still possible but annoying with no bud to fit into your ear, so naturally it kept falling out unless I held it in place or tilted my head to support it.
I had some spare buds at home so I was able to sort the problem out when I returned but for a few days, it was a minor irritation. Finally, a significant design fault that I ran into when looking for the bud. The buds are small and see-through so finding one if you've lost it is nearly impossible when dropped in a room full of stuff covering the floor. I swear to God, short of looking under the wardrobe and removing the bunk bed from the room, I checked just about every inch of floor in the room and couldn't find it.
I looked under every blanket, I looked in shoes in case it bounced, I looked under the mattresses of the bed, I even dropped the other bud to see whereabouts it would fall (luckily I didn't lose that one as well). I still have no fucking clue where the bud went and if I find it when I go back to Cornwall in less than 2 weeks then I'll be both happy and pissed off. Happy for obvious reasons, pissed off because I now have a new set of buds that I'm using and have no need for the missing one now.

So really this has been a mixed selection of thoughts about Bose earphones. On the one hand, their quality and customer service is great. On the other, they break easily and you have to be extra careful with them. For something that costs as much as those earphones, you'd think they'd be relatively safe and wouldn't require much in the way of maintenance.
As for whether I'd recommend them...unless you've got shitloads of money, I wouldn't buy them as an impulse purchase. They make a good gift for somebody you care about enough to be willing to spend up to £75 or so on them. Just make sure the person you buy them for knows that they have to take care of them, otherwise they'll wind up like me.

The Internet Is Serious Business

2011-03-22T20:53:00.004Z

I'M BACK!!!
Yes, I'm online after a stressy 4 days of losing the Internet at my house. Granted I wouldn't have been online for 3 of those days because I went to Cornwall for a brief trip but at least it's all sorted now. This means I'll have to do multiple blog posts for the rest of March but screw it, I'm not doing anything important anyway. I have time to kill and I have ideas to write about so I suppose I should start off with a brief summary of where my Internetz went wrong, along with how it was fixed in case any of you come across a similar problem.

Basically, I use Linksys. I'm not sure if it's Linksys or Virgin that screwed me over in the Internet department before but every now and then, my router would disconnect from the Internet on totally random occasions. I would have to unplug it or repair the connection via the computer to fix it again. This was irritating but I learnt to live with it until I had the money to buy a better one...however, a few days ago, I had a problem. For some reason, after my Internet had disconnected and I went through the usual routine, my router decided to reset every detail that I'd put into it. The WEP key, the username, everything was just gone. This meant I couldn't access the Internet or do a simple repair click on the computer to get it back. The Internet in my house was just...gone. Vanished. Non-existent. In the same place as one of my Bose iPod earphone buds (more on that issue in a blog post tomorrow!).
Naturally, this was fucking annoying. It was only 7:20 when it happened and I wasn't even tired so I didn't have much to do without any Internet. Luckily, I was away for 3 days after that so I didn't have to worry about no Internet and as soon as I got back from Cornwall, I called a company that sent a helpful bloke over to fix it for me. We didn't have to replace the router so I managed to save myself about £45 there...unfortunately, this means we still have the same router and I don't get the satisfaction of destroying the Linksys one in my garden with a hammer and a katana like I'd originally planned. Still, at least the Internet it back in our house. I can tweet and blog and watch videos and buy more music and check out websites and everything that I missed.
If you want to know how he fixed it, he went onto a website by entering the DNS into the web address bar and basically adjusted the settings so that they worked with the router. They'd reset themselves completely without me doing anything to it but it really came down to entering the username and password we were given years ago when we first got broadband. It only cost me £35 in the end and I was able to get it sorted today, whereas other companies would've had to come over tomorrow leaving me without Internet for the rest of the day. Not sure I would've been able to cope without websites to mindlessly surf, if I'm honest.

Maybe it's just me but I was surprised at how much I depend on the Internet when it went away. It's a cliche moral but sometimes you don't realise how much you miss things until they're gone, like meeting friends in school or the show "Green Wing". Anyway, more blog posts to come over the next week including more rants, a new webcomic and probably a record post. Sorry. Be seeing you.

Bowling, Chicken & Metal: An Awesome Night Out

2011-03-18T00:16:00.006Z

Sorry for not doing a blog post yesterday. As the title suggests, I was having fun with friends in Woking for most of the afternoon and all of the evening. It started off with us heading over to an amusement arcade for a couple of games of bowling. This turned out to be surprisingly fun, as we all managed to get at least one strike each and I was able to pull my Victory Stance. We also slipped in a load of "Big Lebowski" quotes throughout the session. After that, we headed over to KFC for a tasty banquet. We commenced the munching of the foodage and my friends claimed that they were stuffed after taking on meals so big that they could kill Elvis again...as for me, I was able to eat all of my grub and the majority of a big bag of Haribo Tangfastics that I brought along in case we went to the cinema.

In the end, we didn't go. No films that we all wanted to see. However, we did go to two pubs. A friendly pub with real ale and Guinness was the first stop and, at first, we were prepared to go home. It was a fun day and we were ready to call it quits...but fuck that, it was St. Patrick's Day and there's an Irish pub in Woking. We checked that place out and, unsurprisingly, it was full of happy but slightly inebriated (understatement) chappies. My friends got some drinks and we tried to talk over the loud music playing but we noticed that a band seemed to be setting up on a small stage. After the band members came in, we judged by their appearance and instruments that they must be a pretty good Metal or, maybe even, Hard Rock band influenced by Metal artists.
I think my friends will agree with me when I say the most interesting looking band member was the lead/rhythm guitarist. Sure, the bassist had long hair and a White Zombie T-shirt and yes, the lead vocalist and guitarist had a cool looking jacket but this guy not only had a KISS T-shirt and no hair...he was just a crazy kind of guy. He may have been on drugs, it's a possibility, but I like to think that was just his personality. He seemed friendly, he was very much into music and he praised my choice of Iron Maiden T-shirt (as did a woman by the bar who laughed a lot and felt my hair, but that's another story...not a very good one, mind). So the band seemed like they would put on a fun performance.
We even got a glimpse of their massive setlist that was full of covers. Songs by The Beatles, Kings Of Leon, Oasis, Jimi Hendrix, ZZ Top, Nirvana, The Rolling Stones, Led Zeppelin, The White Stripes, Radiohead, T.Rex and many more. All in all, it looked like an awesome collection of tunes that would be played and since the two guitarists seemed to be able to play some kickass solos whilst warming up/tuning their instruments, I was interested in hearing what Metal covers of Rock songs would be like. After a long wait and many naff songs played through the speakers in the pub, the band eventually started. Turns out...they were fucking brilliant!

They did quite a few modern songs at first, which the audience seemed to love, but my personal favourites were the heavier covers of classics such as "All Day And All Of The Night" - The Kinks or "20th Century Boy" - T.Rex. For cover versions, they were top notch and to the credit of the band, they actually sounded pretty close to the original recordings of songs at times. They often added a load of epic solos into the middle of songs, occasionally extending tracks such as "Sympathy For The Devil" - The Rolling Stones by about 5 minutes, or even speeding up ones like "Hush" - Deep Purple with solos and a better drum beat. They really were a great cover band, despite the fact that they were playing in a Woking pub to about 60 people.
The other benefit of seeing them play live (for free, might I add) was that they were outside during breaks and people could chat to them easily whilst they were having a smoke. Sadly, I didn't get to see them play some of the songs I was looking forward to like "Whole Lotta Rosie" - AC/DC since we were feeling kind of tired and thought it would be best if we headed home before we got too drunk but I'm more than satisfied with what I saw. Sure, I may not have been able to request "Free Bird" like everyone should do at a small time music gig but at least I did some headbanging to "Rock And Roll" - Led Zeppelin. I even got a chance to thank the guitarist I mentioned earlier. We shook hands and he carried on talking to his friends/bandmates, probably asking who that long haired fat kid in the Iron Maiden T-shirt was.
Bottom line is I personally had a fantastic night. Hopefully my friends did too and I think our aim of having a great pre-Cornwall night out in Woking was achieved. It obviously could've been better but there were many times throughout the night where it could've gone a lot worse and as I'm typing this, I'm sure the Metal band in Woking are carrying on with a badass setlist that I feel truly blessed to have witnessed. Come to think of it, I didn't get the name of the band that was actually playing. My friend thinks they were called 'Juice', so I'll have to see if they're on Youtube tomorrow after I get some sleep first.

On a little sidenote, I also have a few ideas for new webcomics so I'll try and get those out next week. In conclusion, the bowling was more fun than we all thought it would be, the KFC was more filling than we thought it would be and the Metal band in the Irish pub were a hell of a lot more awesome and (I think) inspirational than all of us certainly thought they would be. It was a night of exceeded expectations and if I ever have another night close to this one in terms of tone and content with my friends then I'll be one lucky son of a bitch. Be seeing you.

'You Are F**king Awesome" Award #8

2011-03-16T22:47:00.004Z

It's taken me a couple of days to really voice my thoughts on this but I reckon now's a good time. The next winner of the "You Are F**king Awesome" Award is...

Casey Heynes
For fighting back against a bully in a totally badass way

If you don't know who this kid is then maybe you should watch this video first. I would copy an embed link from Youtube but all of the videos on that website seem to disappear after a few days, whilst this vid has stayed up for a while now. Anyway, the big kid on the right is Casey. The little scrawny chickenshit bully is named Ritchard (not a typo, it's actually spelt like that). Obviously this Ritchard kid was picking on Casey because he's an easy target, he's pretty big and my guess is he's the kind of boy that wouldn't normally fight back. Wouldn't NORMALLY do it...however, this time Casey snapped. He had enough of this cocksucker and wanted to unleash the beast all over his head.
So what does he do? He fucking picks up Ritchard and piledrives the little cunt! Just about everyone on the Internet had the same opinion when they saw this video. Fucking nice one! Believe me, as somebody who has had to deal with bullying in school, it feels so good to watch a victim finally stand up to it and I only wish that I had the balls to beat the shit out of one of the many arseholes that made my schooldays terrible. So needless to say that Casey Heynes is more than worthy of this award...but that's not where the story ends. No, there's more info that I feel I should mention. Casey was suspended for 4 days and a lot of people unsurprisingly disagreed with this.
4chan's Internet vigilantes, /b/, decided that this was a cause worth fighting for and so they tried to set things right. First of all, they started to get personal information about Ritchard and used it to screw with him through abusive phone calls. Kind of a mixed message about bullying but whatever, this kid deserves it. They also emailed the school threatening to continue slandering it all over the Internet if they don't meet the demands of Anonymous. The story is still going and I'm sure this isn't the last we'll hear of this video or of Casey, who has been named Little Zangief/Zangief Kid.

For more on this story, check out this website and if you want further proof that the Guile Theme goes with everything, maybe consider watching this video before it's taken down. But long story short, Casey Heynes has easily earnt a "You Are F**king Awesome" Award, along with other things. Be seeing you.

Maximum Doomage #1

2011-03-15T21:04:00.004Z

OK, a while ago I claimed that I would be starting a new webcomic similar to my older one. I've drawn up the first comic as a kind of warm up for me. However, I still don't know what to name the series yet. If you have any suggestions, go for it. Otherwise, I'll have to spend the next week thinking about it. The best title I could think of was "Bacon & Metal" but it just doesn't sound...right. Anyway, here's the first webcomic for this new series. You might want to click on the image so you can read it properly.

Ta-da! Hope you enjoyed it. This happens just about every time I decide to put on pyjamas in the afternoon. A light show, sound effects and then an awesome finish. Damn, it feels good to wear pyjamas in the afternoon.
I'll be including more characters in later webcomics but this was an idea I wanted to draw before I forgot it. Anyway, I'm hanging out with friends on Thursday so I should get some inspiration for a great webcomic and possibly even series title then. Be seeing you.

EDIT: Came up with a title for the series. Maximum Doomage. Oh yes.

Records: Rock Band 3 ("Hey Man Nice Shot")

2011-03-14T22:25:00.004Z

I like this song and it's pretty fun to play on "Guitar Hero: World Tour" but my God, it is terrible on this game. The guitar chart is rubbish and even though it's probably more accurate than the GH:WT one, it just goes to show that a fun chart is infinitely better than an accurate one. It's a video game over a music simulator, screw playing something realistic. This actually applies to all video games, since it pisses me off when companies brag about real world physics. Fuck that, that's boring. I don't care about realistic weight and gravity, I want double jumps and stuff like that. Furthermore, fuck you 'LittleBigPlanet'. "Oh it's real and just like playing a normal person" can suck my balls.

A weak score of 108,760 due to lack of notes. It was a sightread FC and it's a shame this song didn't export from GH:WT in the import pack. It's a shame a lot of songs from that pack didn't import because then people wouldn't be mindlessly typing, "ZOMG! WANT MOAR IMPORTZ OVAR NEW DLC!!!" The GH developers looked at the forums, saw your dumb comments and acted on them. Thanks to you cunts, we get repeats of songs from GH:WT and GH:SH when new songs would've been much better. We could've had "Seven Seas Of Rhye" or "Hammer To Fall" instead of "Killer Queen" in the second Queen pack. Nice going, cockbites.
Anyway, I'm kind of busy tomorrow but I'm working on some new ideas for my webcomic revival. I'm still trying to work out what to call the new series, since it won't be SuSBuB, but my mind will often drift onto another idea, like a ship on water made of thoughts and...bacon...I haven't had bacon in a while, I need to stock up on some. Be seeing you.

10 NWOBHM Songs

2011-03-13T22:20:00.004Z

This is the best I can think of in terms of decent blog posts for today. A list of New Wave Of British Heavy Metal songs that I really like. Notice how I haven't used the term 'Top 10' for this blog post. I may include it in the labels so I have a better chance of finding this post in the future but it's not in the title because I'm still looking for awesome NWOBHM songs. These are just 10 tracks that I really like but I don't think I'm in a position to rank them. I can't say which is my definite favourite but I can give you 10 songs that I enjoy listening to from this genre...actually, it's not really a genre but...never mind.
Basically, NWOBHM is a type of music that was briefly popular in the early 80s thanks to bands like Diamond Head, Saxon and Iron Maiden. However, those were the bigger bands of the 'genre'. Bands like Samson, Blitzkrieg, Sweet Savage and Witchfinder General kind of flew under the public radar but they still made some top quality tunes. The music was obviously a type of Metal but unlike the popular 70s Metal bands such as Black Sabbath, their songs were less influenced by Blues riffs or scales and had a harder, more aggressive sound similar to late 70s Punk music.
Bands like Iron Maiden were influenced by Prog Rock bands such as Jethro Tull and Rush so some of their NWOBHM songs from their earlier (but not earliest) albums included some Prog touches too, but it was mostly Punk Metal. So here are 10 songs by NWOBHM artists from the late 70s/early 80s that I really enjoy listening to. Maybe you'll like them as well. If you're a fan of NWOBHM music and want to recommend some great songs then feel free to do so in the comment section or as an @ reply on Twitter. Anyway, here are the tracks in no particular order:

"Angel Witch" - Angel Witch
Since NWOBHM music isn't really a popular Metal genre, you've got almost no chance of hearing it on the radio unless you find an underground radio station that plays these songs. I've heard most of these songs online due to listening to bands on Spotify or Youtube but I actually heard this track on "Brutal Legend", a game with a brilliant Metal soundtrack. I can't say I know a lot about this band but I do like this song a lot and it's definitely a good example of great NWOBHM music.

"Armed And Ready" - Michael Schenker Group
I heard this song on "Guitar Hero: Metallica", since Metallica have claimed that they were strongly inspired and influenced by NWOBHM music. I know this guitarist from the band UFO (who influenced Iron Maiden) but I still think the song is great. Again, I can't really recommend any songs by the lesser known NWOBHM bands but once we get into the bigger artists of the genre then I can talk about other tracks. For now, I've just giving you 10 songs from 10 different bands of the genre.

"Free Country" - Witchfinder General
I heard this song in the NWOBHM section on the website, Map Of Metal (another fantastic source for all the different genres of Heavy Metal) and I really should listen to some of the other songs by this band since I love this one. A good rhythm, an awesome guitar solo and some great riffs. Occasionally this song pops up on my iPod whilst I'm driving and it just feels great to do some fast driving with this track in the background.

"Freeway Mad" - Saxon
Ah, now I can recommend some songs...but first, a little about this one. It's not a well known track by this band but it's from their "Wheels Of Steel" album, which has some belters on it. Obviously the title track, 'Stand Up And Be Counted', '747 (Strangers In The Night)', 'See The Light Shining' and others. The fast pace and guitar riffs are my favourite parts of the song. It's also quite short so I often listen to it on repeat several times to hear the riffs over and over again. Now, some other great NWOBHM tracks by Saxon...hmmm...let's see now...
Taking Your Chances
Strong Arm Of The Law
Princess Of The Night
Never Surrender
Rough And Ready
Big Teaser
There, that's a healthy amount of Saxon tracks for you if you're interested. Moving on...

"Hell Bent For Leather" - Judas Priest
Judas Priest have covered many different types of Heavy Metal, including NWOBHM. This is one of their NWOBHM songs that I love but they've done many others that I love as well. In fact, I love most of their songs. Even the faster, more aggressive ones from their 90s album, "Painkiller". But here are their 80s NWOBHM songs that I like. Not all of them, just a small selection:
Delivering The Goods
Breaking The Law
Steeler
Desert Plains
The Hellion/Electric Eye
Riding On The Wind
Bloodstone
Screaming For Vengeance
You've Got Another Thing Comin'
Devil's Child
Huh. Guess the small selection grew a bit.

"It's Electric" - Diamond Head
I have to say, this is probably my favourite NWOBHM song out of the ones I've listed in this blog post. I just love the sound of it and everything. It's great to sing along to on a fast drive, the solo sounds awesome and for a simple bass line, it just sounds amazing after the solo. Maybe that's just me but I stand by my statement. Another good version of this song is the Metallica cover. Whether or not you prefer it to this original doesn't matter, but it is a damn fine cover all the same.
Now Diamond Head were probably one of the most famous NWOBHM bands but they didn't reach the same commercial success that Motorhead or Iron Maiden did, mostly due to poor management. Either way, their songs were brilliant and here are a few of them for you to listen to whenever you have time:
Am I Evil?
Lightning To The Nations
Shoot Out The Lights
Helpless
See, I cut down the number of songs a little.

"The Prisoner" - Iron Maiden
Iron Maiden have a very successful 30 year career and they're still touring as one of the greatest Metal bands ever to exist. However, they started off as a fairly small NWOBHM band with a different lead singer, drummer and even (on the first album) guitarist. It was only when Bruce Dickinson became the lead singer for the album "The Number Of The Beast" that they started picking up attention from the media, although mostly in a negative way. Didn't stop them from becoming famous, though.
Some will argue that the first two albums from the band were the greatest (if they're into NWOBHM) but to me, their first five albums will always be their best. I believe they stopped making NWOBHM music with "Somewhere In Time" as they experimented with a different sound. Since I own their first 5 albums and have listened to every track, I can make the recommended list a bit bigger. Here goes:
Prowler
Running Free
Phantom Of The Opera
Charlotte The Harlot
Wrathchild
Killers
Twilight Zone
The Number Of The Beast
Run To The Hills
Hallowed Be Thy Name
Revelations
Die With Your Boots On
The Trooper
Sun And Steel
Aces High
2 Minutes To Midnight
Flash Of The Blade
Back In The Village
Plenty for you lot to get stuck into there.

"Race With The Devil" - Girlschool
I'm not familiar with this band although I heard their cover of "Bomber" by Motorhead and didn't like it at all. At least this song is great. I also enjoy listening to the original by Gun but this song is better if you want a slightly harder sound with more guitar solos. It also shows that women took part in the NWOBHM movement as well, even though it was mostly dominated by men.
Whilst I'm talking about this song, you may notice that there's a chord progression that is remarkably similar to the one used before and after the solo in "Hell Bent For Leather" - Judas Priest. This song was originally written in the 60s and before you say "they probably didn't know about the song", you should realise that Judas Priest have actually covered this song as well. So yeah, think about that.

"Riding With The Angels" - Samson
I didn't realise this was a cover of a Russ Ballard song until I checked it out earlier today. The original is also pretty good, although I think I prefer this cover. I wasn't really aware of Samson until I listened to this song on iTunes. I know it's kind of similar to "Highway Star" - Deep Purple but it has a sound closer to Metal and Bruce Dickinson is on the vocals. Yep, he sang for Samson before moving over to the Iron Maiden crew. I got a Samson CD for Christmas so I was able to listen to a load more of their tracks and now I can recommend some:
Hard Times
Take It Like A Man
Vice Versa
Hammerhead
Angel With A Machine Gun
Bright Lights

"Stone Dead Forever" - Motorhead
Finally, a bit of Motorhead. Even though they consider themselves a Rock band over Metal, you can't deny that some of their songs have strongly influenced Speed Metal artists like Metallica and Megadeth. Anyway, since Motorhead have done a load of songs that could be called NWOBHM tracks, I'll try not to pick all of them although I'm not promising anything. Besides, this blog post has gone on long enough:
Bomber
All The Aces
Ace Of Spades
Love Me Like A Reptile
Live To Win
(We Are) The Road Crew
Iron Fist
What do you know? I was able to hold back on Motorhead tracks.

So those are a load of songs from the NWOBHM genre that I know and love, but I haven't covered a lot of others that are great. This is really just my experience with the genre so far and I intend to dig a bit deeper to find some more songs and bands that I like. Not just because I want to hear new music but it's also for something I'd like to write when I'm older. This is all going towards a TV show idea, developing a character who loves NWOBHM.
I'm also trying to work in a way for the music to become a key part of the show, but I still don't know how. I will...but not now. By the way, if any of the links for the songs above don't work or they take you to the wrong song then just tell me in the comment section and I'll fix it. Be seeing you.

Records: Rock Band 3 ("This Bastard's Life")

2011-03-12T21:57:00.004Z

Oo, a 'rude' word in the title of the song. There have been a lot of strange censorship policies going on throughout the GH/RB games. RB tend to censor swear words but the song "Rock Your Socks" by Tenacious D included the term 'Cleveland Steamer' in the lyrics. Meanwhile, Guitar Hero are all over the place. During the GH5 years (possibly due to those pointless and fucking retarded Xbox avatars being playable characters*), GH had ridiculous cases of censorship. In 'Band Hero', the song "American Pie" was censored so that the lyrics went "drinking _____ and rye". A lot of people called them on that and agreed that it was pretty dumb, since most people know the line anyway.
But back to this song. It sucks. Sightread FC, had a shitty time playing it. Wouldn't play it again if I had the choice.

Only rated one star, as you can see, but I did score 183,807. I got kind of a late start today and when I eventually did wake up, I was driving/shopping for a trip with my friends in April. Tomorrow should be a bit better and hopefully I'll get a decent blog post done.
I'm not doing anything tomorrow (other than some driving if the weather is alright) but I guess there's not much to add to this blog. I'm also focusing on finding new music and updating my Spotify playlists, so if you're into that kind of thing then you can regularly check them for new tunes at this link: iasg14. Be seeing you.

Spotify: My Thoughts

2011-03-11T20:51:00.003Z

It's taken me a while to join the Spotify party but after a friend convinced me to download it so I could make playlists and discover some new music, I'm starting to see why it was popular. At first, I thought it was kind of overrated and a bit naff but the truth is it's great if you love music. For those who have yet to download it, Spotify is kind of like iTunes but you have to subscribe to it and pay a certain amount each month for extra features. However, if you don't have that kind of cash to spend, you can download the free version.

This has ads and a limit to the number of hours of music you can listen to but, unlike iTunes, you can browse their library for new music and listen to whole songs before deciding whether or not you want to buy them. It's a lot easier than using iTunes when it comes to finding new songs by bands you like because the songs and albums are organised a lot better. You can then drag the song into your library and add it to numerous playlists. When you've made a playlist, you can send the playlist to people and they can listen to it. Sort of like Youtube except there's less chance that one of the songs will become unavailable because of WMG or a user who's decided to remove videos for no reason.
I'd already made several playlists on iTunes but Spotify does a scan of the computer hard drive and can import all of the songs in your iTunes library so that you can listen to the music you already own without having to find them all over again. It also creates the same playlists you've made in iTunes, so I was able to send links to my Metal playlist or Driving playlist. In fact, here are links to playlists I've made on Spotify that I add to every now and then. Keep in mind that you'll only be able to look at these if you've downloaded Spotify:

Classic & Hard Rawk
Mouth of Metal (Brutal Legend reference)
Driving Playlist
Guitar Hero 7: Rock Of Ages
Strip Club Songs
Contraceptive

That last one is a joint effort. I helped make it with a couple of friends. Only listen to it if you're into torturing yourself. Whilst I'm posting links, here are a few playlists that other people have made that I've looked at. They're pretty good as well:

Rock/Metal
Brutal Legend Soundtrack
Guitar Hero Warriors of Rock

So there are several great things about Spotify. There have to be bad points as well, surely. Well yes. There are negatives to this great service. For starters, there are the adverts. Banner ads on the side of the screen aren't too bad but if you're listening to a song and let it run to the end without changing it quickly, you'll find that you have to listen to an ad for a video game or energy drink or some modern artist. You can't skip these ads and you can't listen to another song until the ad has finished, so that sucks but if you're quick and don't mind occasionally missing the last second of a song then you can get around it.
The other annoying thing about Spotify is the same as iTunes or Youtube. Sometimes the artist or album you really want to listen to isn't available. Def Leppard and AC/DC still aren't available and neither are Led Zeppelin or obscure bands that most people haven't heard of. However, the weirdest missing band for me is Metallica. They're arguably one of the most popular Metal bands ever to exist and yet they're not available on Spotify? I looked into this and it turns out that it's just Spotify users in the UK. If you live in the US, you can probably hear them. It's a shame since I'd love to listen to some of their songs from "Kill 'Em All" or their cover album, "Garage, Inc".
Red Hot Chili Peppers don't seem to be on Spotify either but at least both of those bands are available on iTunes and Youtube. Apart from those faults, I haven't found anything else the pisses me off about Spotify. I'm bound to find some other irritations with it at some point but, for now, that's it. If you want to check out some of my other playlists and add me as a friend or whatever the system is on Spotify then you should be able to find my profile at iasg14. If you want me to check out any playlists you've made then feel free to provide links to your profile/playlists in the comment section, or you can @ mention me links on Twitter if that's easier. Be seeing you.

Driving: A Few Irritations

2011-03-10T23:46:00.004Z

If you know me or follow me on Twitter then you should be aware of the fact that I get annoyed easily. Whether it's a crying child at a theatre (why would you bring a baby along to 'Stomp', you morons?) or one of those ketchup bottles that's been made upside down so it's easier to squeeze sauce out placed the wrong way up on a supermarket shelf (the writing on the label is the clue. Jesus!), things get to me. It can be something that's really irritating but more often than not, it'll be the little things that bug the crap out of me. Well, on a couple of solo driving trips recently, I've noticed a few things that piss me off.
I know I'm hardly the right person to talk about annoying people/situations on the road since I've only been driving for about two years (counting the time I was learning to drive)* and I'm not saying this is something for petrol-heads or driving fans to read and fully agree with but I don't have any other better ideas for a blog post today. So yeah, I reckon I might as well try to use my anger and hatred towards the following drivers/events to write something mildly amusing, rather than channeling it into vocal rage. I think I shouted the term 'dumbfuck' at about 4 cars today. Anyway, these are the things that really get to me when I'm out on a casual drive:

Horse riding girls
Fucking Christ, I can't describe how angry these kids make me. What are they even doing on the road? It's always some 12 year old with parents that have too much money on a horse travelling slower than average walking pace on the side of the road with a supervisor doing exactly the same thing. The roads they walk on are usually quite narrow so it's tough to overtake them unless you're 100% certain you can make it before crunching into a car coming in the other direction. There's probably a good reason for taking them out on the roads other than plain old exercise because surely they could just talk the horses on a walk around the local park area that the roads are usually surrounded by. Ugh, really annoying.

White van drivers
I know the stereotype says that they're fast and dangerous...but who the fuck came up with that stereotype? Seriously, it's got to be about 60% of the time I've been on the road with a white van in front of me where that stereotype has been completely turned on its head. They drive slowly and carefully, which is good, but sadly they drive too fucking slow. A scenario today involved a white van driving at 40mph in a 50 zone with 6 or 7 cars (mine included) trailing behind it. I'm almost certain that the van can drive quicker than that and if it can't, what the hell is it doing on the road? A road vehicle that goes from 0-60 in...never? Fucking scrap it.

Cyclists
Not all cyclists deserve to be on this list. If you're riding a bike on a road because you own a car but it isn't available or something fairly valid like that then that's acceptable. Similarly, if you're riding a bike on the road and a car comes up behind you then you're alright if you make an effort to get out of their way, e.g. cycling onto a path on the side of the road. I'm talking about the cyclists that I like to call Cyclunts. The ones who ride slowly and do jack shit about getting shifted. The ones that ride the bike without even pedalling because they want a relaxing ride whilst a snake of traffic builds up behind them. Yeah, those twonks.

Drivers that overtake other cars doing the speed limit
If a white van is doing 30 in a 40 area and somebody overtakes them, I see no wrong with that. If a Cyclunt is toddling along and a driver aggressively revs and overtakes them, alerting him to the number of cars behind his bike, I might be tempted to do the same. However, if a driver is doing 40 in a 40 zone and some flash twat behind him decides that shaving a couple of minutes off the time it takes them to get to their destination is a life and death situation, leading to an overtake before they speed off to a set of red traffic lights, then I'd do everything I could within the law to make things difficult for the twat. Speeding up so they can't overtake, turning on full beams, fuck that prick.
In fact, why do they need to go that little bit faster on a road with an established speed limit that isn't a dual carriageway? They're probably heading off to a business meeting that they're late for because of their own fucking fault. Still, I'd love to be able to say that some tosser tried to overtake me before having to stop at traffic lights. I would pull up behind them, smile, stare at their eyes through their mirror and happily perform the 'wanker' hand gesture until the lights turn green...unless they were big and black or had a load of angry looking gang members in the car with them, then I'd just sit in silence. That's not how I want to die.

Drivers that make things tougher for L-Drivers
Now that I've passed my test, I honestly hope I never become one of these arseholes. The drivers that seem to have forgotten that they too were learner drivers at one point in their lives. The drivers that get up your arse if you're not driving as fast as they'd like you to or, even worse, if you're doing the speed limit and they still give you the business. On my fucking driving test, I had some cap wearing douchecunt in a car behind me that honked his pissing horn as I was driving. I was doing the limit and I passed my test so clearly I wasn't in the wrong but it still annoyed me. Maybe it was just because he was wearing a cap in a car. What the shit is the point of that?

Drivers that make up their own right of way
OK, I'll hold my hands up here. I am one of these people and I apologise to anybody I've done it to that has stumbled across this blog (yeah right) but I've had some real belters involving people deciding that they're allowed to drive out in front of me. Usually when I do it, it's due to a poor judgement where I thought I could drive past a parked car and get back onto my side of the road before the car coming my way has to slow down. I've had people pulling onto the road at bad times so I've had to go from 50 to 25 in order to avoid crashing into them. However, the winner for this unofficial title goes to a driver I came across about a month or two ago when I was still learning.
I was driving down a road and a car coming the other direction wanted to turn right into a road. It's my right of way, so he had to wait. However, as I'm coming up to that turn, he flashes his lights and pulls out in front of me whilst waving. I slow down and he clears the turn. To me, that just looked like some knob in a car going, "It's alright mate, I'm taking this turn" when he wasn't supposed to. He could've waited the 3 seconds for me to drive past him but obviously his 2 o'clock hand job appointment was more important than potentially smashing his left hand door.

Roadworks
Roadworks...ROADWOOOOOOORRRRKS!!!! I growl this every time I have to stop for these massive irritations. Always slowing everything down and they only make things easier for drivers half of the time. Where I live, there's a stretch of road that's filled with holes and rough ground that makes driving more difficult than it should be. There was a roadworks team there the other day...well, I say a roadworks team. There was a sectioned off area with nobody fucking working there. But I didn't mind because I thought "Finally, they're fixing this road". After they'd gone, barely any changes had been made.
If they actually fix something then yeah, I guess that's worth it. However, roadworks teams will always pop up those temporarily bloody traffic lights with seemingly invisible men at work just so they can justify their budget amount by wasting money on work when there are roads that actually need fixing that NONE OF THESE FUCKERS EVER REPAIR!!!

That's all I can think of for now. I'm sure there will be more for me to get stressy about when driving but I think that's a fair amount for somebody in my position. Tomorrow I'm going to a job assessment thing in the afternoon so I might blog about that. I might but I probably won't. Be seeing you.

* Let's face it, I'm probably the kind of person that'd be on a proper list of crappy drivers. Somebody who's only just passed their test and therefore believes they know all about driving.

Records: Rock Band 3 ("In The Meantime")

2011-03-09T23:04:00.003Z

I remember this song from 'Guitar Hero 5'. It was boring on guitar then and it was certainly boring on guitar for this game. Sightread FC and it wasn't fun at all. The only thing I like about the song is the vocal part where it goes "WOOO OOOO-OOOOOO" at the start. I like that bit. Everything else sounds like a crappy version of "Where Is My Mind???" by Pixies.

A low score of 185,920. At least it looks like a fairly controlled score. Tomorrow I have to get up early and I don't have any plans for the day so I might try and think up a better blog post idea. I'm not sure what but I'll give it a shot. Maybe something to do with music, I don't know. Be seeing you.

Records: Rock Band 3 ("The Look")

2011-03-08T23:41:00.003Z

Easily my favourite song in the game. The guitar may not be as fun as other songs I've played in Rock Band or Guitar Hero but it's got a great riff and it's an awesome song. It took me a couple of tries to FC due to messing up a few of the chord hammer-ons thanks to the timing window but it's not really difficult at all. In fact, it's really easy if I'm honest. Long breaks with no notes to play on the guitar, the instrumental break in the middle is simple and the chord sequence is pretty simple too. Really, it all depends on whether you like the song. I love it and I thought the mix in this game was better than the version I bought from iTunes from the original album.

Like I said, not a lot of guitar so the score is only 115,982 but it's still a sweet song. I would've done a better blog post today but I spent most of my day doing one of three things. Driving, waiting for the remaining songs from my purchased "Guitar Hero: Metallica" import to download or playing the downloaded songs. I didn't download every song that was available and if I get bored, I might download a few more without having to pay for anything but at least the ones I wanted are there.
Tomorrow I have to do quite a few things relating to my temporary job in April so it might be another record post if I don't have time to do anything better. Be seeing you.

Glee: My Beef With It

2011-03-07T21:32:00.006Z

It should come as no surprise that I don't like the show "Glee". No, I don't care for the After School special storylines. No, I don't really give a damn about the songs they're singing because they're not the original versions, just some soulless covers. No, I don't think the show is hilarious and even though I have chuckled at some of the lines, there are hundreds of better ways to make me chuckle and no, I don't see this rant going anywhere so I better start making my point. I've covered "Glee" briefly on this blog before but now that the show is in the second season and I feel I'm a little more educated about it, I think it's time I talked about the reason why I personally don't like it.

At first, I thought one of the odd things about "Glee" was that you literally either like it or hate it. I used to think there was no middle ground. No "I watch it occasionally and I think it's OK, I guess". You were either a Gleek/Gleetard with all of the covers on your iPod or a miserable git who hated the show because it's too bright and sugary. I was wrong about that. There is a grey area where people occasionally watch the show or only watch it because they like the characters, nothing to do with the High School Musical moments or soundtrack. However, I've never heard anyone say that they think "Glee" is just 'alright'. I've only heard people say that they hate it or that they like it.
I don't like "Glee" but I will admit that I can understand why others do like it. For people who have a very basic knowledge and appreciation of music, the songs can be entertaining when they're not bland. There's something about some of the routines I've seen that made me feel like the cast didn't really care about what they were singing, they were only doing it because they were told to do it. I could be completely wrong about this and maybe I'm only finding problems that I want to exist but I've always thought that music should only be performed/listened to by someone who genuinely enjoys it. Don't buy a track off iTunes or sing a song at a talent show just because it's popular, buy/sing it because you really like the song, otherwise you're just a poser and posers suck. Posers really suck.
For people who like storylines with depth, there are episodes with a variety of issues about tolerance and acceptance. Since one of the main characters is gay, I'm guessing they've covered that topic quite a few times. Again, I have a problem with anything that tries to promote political correctness in one way or another. Like it or not, the best comedy is edgy and slightly offensive, probably because the joke is something we may have thought but not had the balls to say to other people. If comedy is restricted or censored so that people in a particular minority are off-limits then soon enough a domino effect will start and more minorities will be out of the question when it comes to telling a joke.

I'm not saying that making fun of people is clever or amusing on its own but I'd rather live in a world where we didn't take ourselves so seriously and could accept a bit of non-aggressive ribbing every now and then, as opposed to the one we're heading for where you can't say anything about anyone different to you without being branded an "...Ist". But getting back to my main argument, "Glee" may claim to stand up for the school outcast against ignorant bullies but a while ago, Slash (ex-guitarist for Guns N Roses and solo artist) claims that he'd never let a GnR song onto the show because he hated anything similar to "Grease" or "High School Musical". As a response, the creator of "Glee" basically said something along the lines of "Usually when people say something like that they're unintelligent and their careers have slowed down". Wow, way to demonstrate tolerance there.
"Glee is all about accepting people for who they are...but if you don't like it then you suck at your job and you're an idiot". In that sense, "Glee" kind of reminds me of the kid at school who pretends to give a crap about special needs children just so he has a shot with an attractive care worker. But that's not the reason I don't like it. You can't blame the show for something the creator said. Hell, you can click on any random post on this website and I'm sure you'll find something I've said that's pretty fucking stupid (this post included). It's not the choice of music, either. They seem to have a fairly solid variety ranging from popular songs from the 70s to popular songs from this year.
I would make the case that music shouldn't be about only picking the most popular songs and that anybody who assumes a soundtrack is weak because it's not 100% mainstream rock or pop shouldn't be in a position where they're paid to judge music, but a show has to get viewing figures to survive. Your average audience likes pop music and even though they probably will enjoy songs that they've never heard of, for the time being they'd rather just listen to the same songs they hear on the radio over and over again. It's a retarded system but "Glee" isn't to blame. Mind you, if somebody claimed that "Glee" was partly responsible for making audiences think that popular songs are better than fairly unknown songs, I wouldn't question their accusation.

So it's time I got to a conclusion with this. Why do I dislike "Glee"? It's not the performances, it's not the writing, it's not the soundtrack, it's not the acting (which is actually very good) and it's not because I want to look cool, like the people who think hating "Family Guy" makes them look smarter in comparison to people who enjoy watching it*. The truth is it's the same reason I don't like Justin Bieber, and I'm sure it's the same reason quite a few people don't like "Glee". The fucking fans. Not the people who happily like the show, I mean the people who never fucking shut up about it. The noisy, irritating, moronic, squealing, tween, hyperactive and, let's face it, often female (I know I shouldn't stereotype but it's bloody true and you know it) fans that piss everyone who isn't one of them off.
Going back to the point I made about Bieber, I don't think he's actually as bad as everyone says he is. Alright, his music sucks but that doesn't mean he deserves the amount of hate he gets. People are really just angry at his fans, the 7 million followers on Twitter who make you weep for the future generations. The people who automatically go "WOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" whenever the name Justin Bieber is spoken in a public place like they've been hypnotised to have a fucking trigger word that makes them act like a cunt. The same can be said for "Glee". Whilst Gleeks/Gleetards are significantly quieter than Beliebers/Beibophiles, they are out there and my hate for them is making me associate the TV show, which isn't as bad as I make it sound, with feelings of negativity. So there you have it.
That's the main reason I can't watch "Glee" without feeling like shit but the other points I've made in this post also play their part, creating a strong reaction against a passable show. If there's any moral to this blog post then it's probably something along the lines of "don't hate the player or the game, hate the fans that make too much noise and piss all over the experience for the rest of the crowd". With that summary made, I think it's time I listened to some proper music...unlike the music on "Glee" which is...which is also music but...but it's...IT'S NOT METAL SO IT'S RUBBISH! NEYEAH! Be seeing you.

* You're not smart and you're not different. "Family Guy" is popular but a lot of people don't like it as well. If you don't like it because you just don't like it, fair enough. However, chances are I don't care about you as a person if you deliberately want to dislike it just so you can say "Oh I don't like Family Guy, it's too immature and the jokes have nothing to do with the main story", especially if you like the show "Scrubs".

Top 10 AC/DC Songs

2011-03-06T20:50:00.004Z

Most bands and musicians try to experiment with their sound, sometimes creating new genres that other artists are inspired by. Some bands try to make each album sound different but every now and then, a couple will release the same album again and again but still make a name for themselves as being Rock/Metal legends. AC/DC are one of those bands. Their material hasn't really changed an awful lot since their first album but that's why it's so good. Their latest songs are still as aggressive and heavy as their greatest tracks from the 70s & 80s.
Like most of the recent bands I've done Top 10 posts about, I'm not a massive fan of this one. I mean, I like AC/DC and I know more than 10 of their songs but I don't own all of their albums and I'm sure there are songs they've done that I'll really love but I haven't heard them yet. Even so, this is just a blog post where I can tell you about my 10 favourite AC/DC songs that I know of. It's a shame they only want people to buy their songs as albums, meaning that their music isn't on iTunes or Guitar Hero (it's on RB but only as a live track pack disc).

10. Girls Got Rhythm
A decent drum beat, a good guitar riff and a catchy chorus. All of these things go towards making an awesome song but there are better examples of all of those factors in other tracks by AC/DC. I suppose I should tell you now that I only own two AC/DC albums. "Highway To Hell" and "Iron Man 2". I know some of their other songs but...well, yeah, most of the songs will be from those two albums. This one is from "Highway To Hell" and it's pretty good but it's not as great as the other tracks on this list.

9. Back In Black
One of their most famous songs, this is well known for the awesome riff and screechy vocals from Brian Johnson who took over from Bon Scott after he died. Both are great vocalists and, if you ask me, Brian Johnson's vocals make the band sound more...'Metal', even though they're definitely Rock. Bon Scott's voice was smoother than Johnson's but at the same time, it was still pretty rough. But as for this song, it's on this list because of the riff about halfway through, or at 2:54 in the linked video. I love that riff more than the intro/main riff.

8. Beating Around The Bush
This song has a faster rhythm than the last two and, in my opinion, I think the riff is better. Since most AC/DC songs are all built around awesome riffs and solos, all of the song descriptions in this blog post will use the word 'riff'. Just thought I'd let you know before you found out for yourself and...I don't know, but something bad would've happened. As I was saying earlier about Scott & Johnson vocals, this is a Bon Scott song. They're smoother than Brian Johnson's vocals but when he screams some of the lyrics, they kind of grate a bit. Not in a bad way but in a Hard Rock way.

7. Highway To Hell
Arguably their most famous song after/along with "Back In Black". I prefer this one because the riff (Word of the Day) is simple yet effective. A great sound, it's catchy and it works well with the rest of the song. The chorus is pretty damn good as well, even though it's just the title over and over again. Like I said, this song is a good example of how less can be more. The solo isn't as complicated as some of the solos in other AC/DC songs and yet it feels like it would work better than one that'd create blisters on your fingers.

6. If You Want Blood (You've Got It)
On both "Highway To Hell" and "Iron Man 2". It was also used during the freefalling part in "Shoot 'Em Up". It's a great song that I didn't actually download when I first heard it on 'Highway To Hell' but it's grown on me over a while and now I like it more than the title track of the album it came from. The riff isn't my favourite AC/DC riff but I do like the continual drum beat and the part of the chorus after the "If you want blood...YOU GOT IT" bits. It's a top notch driving song, that's for sure.

5. Whole Lotta Rosie
I don't actually own this song but I still love it. I heard it on the radio the other day and I keep on listening to it every now and then. I really wish I could buy it on iTunes but it seems I'll have to find another way of getting it. A heavy drum beat and riff (getting sick of that word yet?) with epic solos throughout. Now THAT'S my kind of song! It's kind of similar to another track on this list that's yet to come...in fact, now I think about it, it's very similar.

4. Shoot To Thrill
I first heard this song at the start of "Iron Man 2" but when I bought the soundtrack and listened to it in full, I realised that it's a lot better than the edit they used. That's all I really need to say about this song. Good vocals, great guitar at the end and...yeah, that's it. Looks like I managed to talk about this song without saying riff...aw crap. If you've been listening to all of these songs as you go through them then you should start to see what I mean when I say they just release the same album over and over again. Keep in mind that 4 of them so far have come from the same album. The others you've heard are from different albums.

3. Walk All Over You
It starts off kind of slow and the speed changes throughout the song but when it gets onto the faster parts of the song, with the main riff, it turns into a badass driving song and a great tune in general. Maybe it's a bit long but it's still another belter from the "Highway To Hell" album. Looking over this list, exactly half of the songs on it are from one album. I also like a few others from that album so maybe I should invest in a few more AC/DC albums if they're supposed to be very similar and I really like the one I've got.

2. Let There Be Rock
Now this is a fucking awesome song! I'm glad I could play it on "Rock Band 2" and now that I can drive on my own, I look forward to hearing this when I do some driving in fast areas. Especially towards the end of the song, when the solo is going mental with the rapid strumming and heavy drumming. It's not exactly complex in terms of the lyrics but it's got a formula that's a bit different from the usual "Intro, Verse, Chorus, Verse, Chorus, Solo, Chorus, End" in a lot of Rock songs. As a result, the song sounds more dynamic. It doesn't slow down during the fast parts, it just stops and then quickly starts again with just as much energy.

1. Thunderstruck
The first AC/DC song that I instantly fell in love with when I first heard it all the way through. It was used at the start of an episode of "Supernatural" but, I have to confess, I didn't really notice it. I found it again when I was looking for a great AC/DC song for a Guitar Hero game and everything about it, from the tapping riff to the solos or the angry vocals to the rhythm guitar in the background, is just fantastic. A song that balances on the line between Hard Rock and Heavy Metal. I'm also happy that I can play the opening tapping riff on my guitar, although it sounds nowhere near as good as it does on the actual track...obviously.

I feel I should mention one more song that nearly made it onto the list. I decided to listen to it after hearing a cover version of it on "School Of Rock" and I actually kind of like it. It's a bit long for me so it ended up being Number 11 on my personal AC/DC chart. That song is "It's A Long Way To The Top (If You Wanna Rock 'N' Roll)" and even though I don't like it enough for it to be on the Top 10 list above, I do like it enough to at least mention it in this blog post. That's all for me today. Be seeing you.

The Inception Burger

2011-03-05T20:57:00.006Z

Before I tell you about my meal, I need to show you a picture first.

This is a Double Cheeseburger from McDonalds. I know, it looks fairly mediocre. It tastes alright but it can't compare to a proper, meaty burger with sauce and bacon. It's also kind of small but if you're not hungry then it's a perfect meal. However, I was hungry earlier today...and this burger wasn't good enough. I had bacon, burgers, a bun, lots of food in the fridge and this is how I put it all together.
It took me about half an hour of chaos/panic to prepare but I managed to make it, eat it and blog about it. The burger that's even better than my awesome Buff Burger and could easily make it onto Epic Meal Time. I've been planning it since my friends showed me pictures of a burger they made and I'm feeling confident now when I say that this has topped theirs. So now, fellow bloggers, readers and followers, I present...
THE INCEPTION BURGER!!!

INGREDIENTS:
A bun x 1
Bacon x 2
Southern Fried Chicken fillets x 3
Hash Browns x 2
Onion Rings x 3
Burgers x 2
Cheese
Egg
McDonalds Double Cheeseburger
Sowce (Ketchup, BBQ, Mayonnaise)

Yes. The Inception Burger. A burger...WITHIN a burger. I also had two onion rings, one hash brown and one Southern Fried chicken fillet on the side with ketchup & BBQ dip because I'm fucked up. The order goes as follows: First, a lightly toasted bun with sowce. Next, a chicken fillet with bacon on top of it. After that, one burger covered in cheese. Put a hash brown on that bitch. Add the McDonalds Double Cheeseburger to that pile...BUT WE NEED TO GO DEEPER, MOTHERFUCKERS!!!
Another burger covered in cheese with a poached egg on top of that comes next. Then it's time to add more bacon. Am I done? Am I FUCK! More chicken on top of that, pop an onion ring on top of all of that and then finish this beast with the top of the bun. That right there? That's an epic burger that I took down all on my own earlier today. I'll probably never be allowed to make one ever again and even if I do, chances are it'll kill me. So that's my latest Epic Meal. Next time? I eat a laptop. Be seeing you.

Some More Awesome Meals

2011-03-04T22:29:00.012Z

When I first signed up to Twitter in May 2009 (I think), I didn't want to become one of those people that has such a hollow life that all they do is tweet their every random thought when they have nobody to talk to, along with pictures of their animals and food. Turns out it took me less than two years for me to become that person. Either way, at least the food I have for dinner is awesome. It's not just chicken salad or wimpy shit like that. No, my meals have balls! So here are pictures of the meals that I'm actually proud of. Meals I would make again because I loved them so much.

Super Noodle Salad

INGREDIENTS:
Super Noodles (any flavour)
Bacon
Sausage
Hash Browns
Leerdammer Cheese
Bread Roll
Appropriate Sowce (I chose ketchup and Jack Daniels BBQ sauce, as I have for most meals)

Salad? Fuck salad! I have mine with meat and Super Noodles because I don't give a shit about my health! Basically, cook everything up to start with. Then cut up the bacon slices, sausages and hash browns into bite size chunks and mix them into the Super Noodles with some cheese. Yes, that's right. Cheese. Why cheese? WHY THE FUCK NOT? Don't forget the optional bread roll. I lightly toasted mine so it would have a slight crunch. I also used it to sandwich some of the salad in, so I had a salad AND a Super Noodle sandwich.

Breakfast Omelet with extra Breakfast...for Dinner

INGREDIENTS:
Beans
Cheese
Eggs
Sausage
Bacon
Black Pudding
Hash Browns

The Power 5 of an epic breakfast right there, with extra black pudding because that's how I roll. Literally, if I eat too many of these then I'll be big enough to roll to places like a human hamster ball...made of Diabetes. This is fairly straightforward, you just fry up an omelet with a couple of eggs and mix in cut up pieces of sausage, black pudding, hash browns, cheese and bacon with extra items on the side with the beans. I made another Breakfast Omelet recently with the black pudding sort of mashed up, so it gave the omelet a darker & tastier looking appearance.

I think this omelet was nicer as it cooked a bit longer, so the middle wasn't all gloopy. I've also got black pudding on the side there, next to a proper hash brown that's been fried to crispy golden brown perfection.

The Pie-land

INGREDIENTS:
Chicken & Bacon Pie
Mashed Potatoes
Gravy
Peas

I couldn't think of a better name for it and since the mash has been arranged into a sort of volcano with gravy for lava, I figured I should call it the Pie-land...because the pie looks like an island. An island made of tasty pastry and meat. I shouldn't need to tell you how to make this since I bought the pie at a wonderful place named Longacres. Everything else is just careful placement of the food.

Bacon Parcels with Beans & Chicken

INGREDIENTS:
Southern Fried Chicken
Beans
Bacon
Cheese
Hash Browns
Appropriate Sowce

Cook the chicken with the hash browns, heat the beans (I stirred BBQ sauce into the beans to give them a smokey taste) and fry up bacon. When the bacon is done, layer the bacon with cheese and line up two pieces next to each other. Now you need to take the hash brown and place it at one end of the bacon strips. Slowly move turn the hash browns over with the bacon so it gets wrapped up in the bacon pieces. I did this twice to form two bacon/hash brown parcels, with bacon and hash browns on the side. They tasted...amazing.

Bacon Lollipops with Super Noodles

INGREDIENTS:
Super Noodles
Peas
Onion Rings
Bacon Cheese Grills
Bacon Lollipops
Appropriate Sowce

Yeah, I didn't make any of this. But these things exist. I just feel like I should tell you about them, you can get bacon and cheese grills in fried bread crumbs and bacon strips wrapped around sticks covered in BBQ sauce from different places. Grills come from Sainsbury's and lollipops come from Marks & Spencer's.

Buff Burger

INGREDIENTS:

Bun
Bacon
Burgers
Cheese
Hash Browns
Onion Rings
Appropriate Sowce

Now I've made this LOADS of times and there is an order I go with. You can make it any way you like but here's how I make it. First, apply sauce to the bottom of the bun. Next, cut up bacon slices. Next, burger with cheese on top. Add a hash brown on top of that, followed by another burger with cheese on it. Some more bacon slices and an onion ring before placing the top of the bun on this monster. I have added things such as gammon steaks and poached eggs into the mix but I've usually replaced a burger or bacon with those first. In fact, a while ago I made one with a vegetable samosa at the bottom.

Oh yeah, and there are sauces and extra bits of food on the side as well. Why? Again, WHY THE FUCK NOT? Tomorrow, I'm making another one of these burgers but I'll be going all out. I intend on beating a burger that my friends made that had southern fried chicken fillets, vegetables and three burgers. So yeah, I have to think bigger for my next one. I know what I'm going to make and I'm calling it the 'Inception Burger'. You'll have to wait until tomorrow to see it.

So those are meals that I enjoyed making and loved eating...but I have made some bad meals. I haven't taken pictures of them although today, I thought I'd snap a pic of my dinner that turned out to be pretty rough. For lack of a better title, I call it...

The Abortion

INGREDIENTS:
Jacket Potato
Beans
Cheese
Tuna
Mayonnaise
Bacon
Egg
Sowce

Ugh. I don't know why I thought this would work but now I know that it doesn't. I cooked a jacket potato, heated some beans with BBQ sowce and poured them over said potato. This is where things went wrong. I grated some cheddar cheese and mixed it in with tuna and mayonnaise, but I didn't have enough cheese so it just tasted really fishy. I also added some bacon but it burnt in the pan so it wasn't as nice as bacon usually is. The same happened to a fried egg I made, so the bottom of it was really crispy and...oh God, I don't even like thinking about it.
Bottom line is that I screwed up with this one, but at least I've sort of learnt from this experience. As for other meals I've made, you can check out this blog for my Breakfast Pie and Chocolate Paella but in the future, I intend on making a massive Cornish Pasty with friends and a Bacon Lasagne with the pasta and bacon reversed around. The Bacon Lasagne meal will have to wait until after Cornwall, I reckon, but at least I'll have a whack at making the epic 'Inception Burger' tomorrow. Be seeing you.

Rango: My Thoughts

2011-03-03T23:12:00.003Z

I would've reviewed this film earlier today but since I'm pretty tired now, I think I'll just talk about what I thought of the film in a less professional manner. If you haven't heard of the film "Rango", I wouldn't be surprised. The film has received barely any form of promotion. I haven't seen any ads for it on TV or at the cinema and if it wasn't for my Nan inviting me to see "Rango" today then I'd only know about it through a few pictures on bus stops.

Anyway, the film is basically a Western aimed at family audiences. The characters are all computer animated animals voiced by familiar actors such as Johnny Depp, Alfred Molina, Abigail Breslin and Bill Nighy but the dialogue is a mix of adult references and childish humour. The story is similar to your typical Western. A stranger rides into a town where the people living there are unhappy with the way things are run. He then works with the townspeople in order to make everyone happy. Granted the plot in this film has a bit more depth than my description, mostly to do with Rango's character, but overall the whole thing felt like it was a homage to the classic Clint Eastwood Spaghetti Western films.
In fact, there's a scene in the film involving Clint Eastwood's character from those movies. It's a fun cameo and a wink to adults there who are familiar with the films. If I'm honest, I don't want to reveal too much about the film because I want people to go and see it. It's actually really good and even though there are several kooky moments that younger audiences may not get, they'll certainly find some of the characters and jokes amusing. The same can be said for adults although in reverse. They might not appreciate the bits that the kids are laughing at but the factors such as the music or direction will probably impress them. Different age groups will take away different meanings from this film.
So basically, I'd recommend it to mostly anyone. Maybe not teenagers who have no appreciation of the Western genre/morons or very young children as there are a few scenes and characters that'll scare them or make them cry...although I'd never think of taking a young child to the cinema if they're going to get scared and cry through it. I mean, how fucking dumb are those parents? "Oh we can't hire a babysitter and we want to see the film". Guess what? You're a parent! Take some fucking responsibility and learn to make sacrifices...ahem, sorry. Got a bit distracted there.

Bottom line is that it's a great film for most audiences that probably used too much of the budget on getting celebrities to voice the characters when you only realise it was them during the credits, resulting in a poor amount of marketing and advertising to go towards the film when you look at other movies such as "Paul" that's been promoted for the best part of a year now. Well, that's that then, I suppose.
I'm not sure what I'll blog about tomorrow. I feel like I haven't seen enough of "Glory Daze" to do a blog post about my thoughts on the show (since I have thoughts that are almost certainly going to change as the series progresses) but I don't think I'm doing anything I can write about. Hopefully not a record post although I'll try and crap something out. Be seeing you.

Records: Rock Band 3 ("Low Rider")

2011-03-02T23:19:00.003Z

Don't get me wrong, I like this song. I liked it in the Marmite ads, I liked it in the film "Gone In 60 Seconds", I even liked it briefly in "My Name Is Earl"...but I really, really hate it in this game! It has no place in it at all, there are loads of songs that would've been more fun to play. I know it's a reasonably well known song but I can't see people having fun whilst playing it unless they really love the fuck out of the song, although maybe that's just because I've only played the guitar for it. Boring as shit.

Yeah, rated 1/5 with a score of 65,975. Obviously a sightread FC. Anyway, tomorrow I'll be watching a pre-release of the film "Rango" so I'll blog about that. I might give that show "Glory Daze" a watch tomorrow, since it's supposed to be a kind of homage/parody of 80s films like "Animal House". Lots of 80s music, 80s comedy film references and I'm guessing there'll be a few cameos throughout the series from 80s film stars...so why shouldn't I watch it, right? If I do, I'll blog about my thoughts on Friday. Be seeing you.

March

2011-03-01T20:15:00.005Z

Shortest month is over and we're into the next. March! Hopefully "South Park" will be starting again this month and other TV shows will carry on showing new episodes. In terms of new TV, I'm not sure what's starting this month...if anything. It's just a month of watching stuff that already exists like "Community", "Supernatural" and "Chuck" with the occasional "Family Guy" episode when they're not taking a break every other fortnight.

On Thursday, I'm going to a pre-screening of the film "Rango"...yeah, I haven't heard of it either. I'll still blog about it though. I'm also planning to go to Cornwall for about 4 days in early April so I need to go down there for a couple of days just to make sure everything is OK. This means there'll probably be a string of record posts although I'm sure I'll apologise on the day for doing them. As for other films? I'm not sure. I've kind of gone off most films that aren't comedies, with exceptions of course. I can't say I have any interest in seeing "The Social Network", "127 Hours" or "The King's Speech" at all. Yeah, people seem to love them but I really can't see myself liking them as much as everyone else on the Internet.
I mean, the last time we had this much hype over a film was probably "Avatar" or "Slumdog Millionaire". They were alright, these films are only ever alright. They're not bad but they're rarely ever magnificent or utterly fantastic or "the feel-good film of the decade" and other wank like that. I'm not saying the films I enjoy are better but it does get kind of irritating when I constantly hear a load of praise for a film about a guy who can't talk or a cunt who gets stuck. The same can be said for music, I guess. I've given up on looking for modern music that I'll like unless I enjoy listening to the band releasing new material from previous experience, e.g. Foo Fighters, Tenacious D, Slash, etc.
So when people start saying things like, "OMG Lady Gaga's new album is great!" or "Kanye West's new album is the best album since Jesus!" and all that, I kind of have to zone out and just carry on doing what I'm doing whilst trying to ignore the things I'm reading/hearing. Usually this is on Twitter so I have to scud through a load of bollocks by people who read/write for The Guardian, occasionally missing something I actually wouldn't mind reading. I could just unfollow them but sometimes they update with something worth reading, more often than the tweets I don't like...what the hell was I talking about again? Oh yes, March.

Poll results are kind of disappointing. Guess not many of the people who read my blog watch Epic Meal Time videos on Youtube...or only 4 people read my blog...and one of them is me. Still, at least us 4 agree that the Breakfast of Booze is an awesome meal. Time for another poll then. I feel like video games have kind of slipped by the blog post today so let's have a poll about gaming.

If you had to live as a playable character in one of the following video game franchises for a week, which would you choose?

A) Call Of Duty
B) Resident Evil
C) World Of Warcraft
or
D) Grand Theft Auto

Think about this one. I can imagine which choice everyone would want to go for but imagine you're actually in the game. Every amount of damage you take as a character is felt by you. If you're killed, you are killed and then respawned and made to do it again. Seriously, imagine you're literally in the video game of your choice from any of the above 4 series' for a week and whatever normally happens to the character in that game, from being in a war zone to working for the mafia, will happen as if you're doing it in real life.
Think about it and vote for the one you'd actually choose. I'll give it a couple of days and then vote myself. Be seeing you.

Records: Rock Band 3 ("Just Like Heaven")

2011-02-28T20:41:00.003Z

I kind of like this song. Guitar chart is OK and it's probably my 11th favourite song in the game but I've only played it a couple of times. I sightread FC'd it, since the chart is pretty damn easy, but it's still alright to play even if you think it's easy. It's a hell of a lot better than the Cure song on Guitar Hero: Warriors of Rock. That one's crap.

Lots of chords and stumming so the score is kind of high. 215,925. I've got to get up early in the morning to go to some kind of job meeting so I might blog about that...then again, I might not if it's incredibly boring. Be seeing you.

Just A Story About My Day

2011-02-27T21:07:00.005Z

I can't really think of anything else to blog about so I thought I'd do a quick post on my experience at a Chinese restaurant today. Yeah, I know it's kind of a dumb idea but screw it, it's got to be better than a record post, right? It's not even a proper anecdote, it's just a couple of amusing things that happened earlier today with my family. Basically, we went to a Chinese restaurant for a Sunday lunch (what? That's totally normal) to celebrate a few birthdays. This is a place we've been to many times. It's very close to where we live, the food is great and because we only go there every now and then it feels like a treat.

Usually the service is very good and there isn't a long wait between starters and mains. In fact, I was at a Harvester the other night and must've waited a good hour between the starter and main due to shit loads of customers arriving at the same time as me. In fact, as a bit of padding, what the hell happened to The Harvester? Maybe it's just because I arrived there early but it's turned from an awesome steakhouse with epic burgers and meat into a...a family establishment. Kids everywhere, a crying baby, a Happy Birthday balloon...I mean, for crying out loud, there was a fucking claw machine with soft toys in the pub area! Next time I want to eat there, I'll have to try and get there for 8PM in order to miss the people who eat dinner at 5 in the afternoon.
Anyway, back to the Chinese place. We ordered a load of starters and waited for the food to come. However, one of the family members is a vegetarian so we had to order things for us and let them order their starters for themselves. Eventually, the grub arrived with the veggie foods mixed up with the meat foods. Despite this, we still ate but some of us couldn't try the things they wanted because, even though there were about 7 of us, they only brought the starters in as one portion per item. Our waitress came back and we ordered some more food whilst trying to explain to her that we wanted enough for the whole table.
There were items we ordered that we still didn't receive but it wasn't too long before they started to bring in the extra food. This time, we were given plates holding a load of BBQ ribs and prawn toast...sidenote, why are those things known as 'Prawn Toast'? They're prawn meat between two pieces of toast, isn't that a toasted prawn sandwich? Either way, it's nice and we had loads of it. We all ate the starters they brought in and waited for the order of crispy duck pancakes. Oh no, we weren't stopping there.

It would've been far too simple if they just came in with pancakes and duck with the sauce, that would've been perfect. Instead, we get those items and, because one of the party is a vegetarian, the waitress brings in some green rice mix and several massive lettuce leaves. When she came back, we asked her what they were as we didn't specifically order them and therefore had no idea why they were there. The waitress sort of stared at us, then at the veggie food, then (I think) she started to inspect the green mush before saying something along the lines of, "Well that's lettuce" whilst pointing at the lettuce leaves.
I wanted to say to her, "No shit, we know what they are. We weren't sitting around the table brainstorming trying to figure out what the fucking lettuce leaves were before one of us came up with 'I think it might be a trampoline'! We want to know what that gloop is!" But I didn't and she left us with the untouched but, probably, very nice duck alternative. Whilst waiting for the mains to arrive (yes, we had more food to come!), the speakers faded the peaceful pop music out and changed it to a loud version of 'Happy Birthday' for a family around the corner of where we sat. Luckily it wasn't for us, as I hate things like that at a restaurant since I'm over the age of 10, and people started clapping once the song had finished.
Again, I had a moment where I wanted to just shout, "What the hell? That's not worth clapping. They did nothing to reach that age, they just didn't die" but who am I to rain on a special day? I didn't even know them so, quietly, I sat there smiling...and waiting for my meal. Nothing really special happened during the consumption of the main course. I mean, I went to the bathroom and blasted an eroded urinal tablet in half with piss but things were controlled and fairly normal in general. After dinner, the music died down again and the familiar notes of the 'Happy Birthday' song started again.

I was already annoyed about the first one because the speakers were right behind me and it was at least 4x louder than the average music they were playing. This time, it seemed like somebody else that wasn't on our table was having a birthday celebration but something kind of funny happened this time. You know when somebody is singing along to a song but they don't know the words to certain parts so they sort of murmur along to it? They might go, "Wake me up before you go-go, muh-nuh-nuh muh nuh-nuh like a yo-yo!". You'll either have heard somebody do it at a gig or maybe you've even done it yourself with a song on the radio at some point in your life, I'm pretty sure of it.
Right, well, there's that bit in 'Happy Birthday' where you put the name of someone in the song depending on the name of the birthday person. The previous song went, "Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday" instead of "Happy Birthday, dear Richard" or whatever, but this tune was a little bit different. I swear to Christ, it actually sang "Happy Birthday, muh nuh-nuh-nuh" over the speakers. This was a proper song they played, not just something the staff sang along to. You have to ask...what the fuck was that all about? Even if it was the staff singing, you'd think they'd learn the name of the person having the fucking song sung for them! Even though the whole afternoon was lovely and the food was delicious, from the mediocre service to the song cock-up, something in the management has changed and it isn't right there.
I think the person in charge of the place has moved on to another restaurant and somebody with lesser skills has taken over. Maybe I'm overreacting just for the sake of this blog post but I guess the one advantage to running a place at a B-grade standard is that the customers will always have funny stories to share about things going wrong and even though this blog post isn't really worth reading, I felt happy writing it. Be seeing you.